Thunk! Kerplop! Thud! The sound of the Deseret News arriving on your porch or driveway each day. (We sincerely hope the sound isn't "crash!" as in a window being smashed or a screen door bashed.)

The arrival of your newspaper is, we hope, a much anticipated and happy event. An evening of good reading ahead.But what if, heaven forbid, it simply doesn't show up?

This column is dedicated to helping you get your newspaper. On time. Every day.

Let's go right to the top. Enter Randy Koeppen.

Koeppen is the relatively new circulation director for the Newspaper Agency Corp., the service entity of the Deseret News and Salt Lake Tribune that prints and distributes the two newspapers.

Koeppen has a big job with lots of headaches. It's a logistical nightmare to deliver close to a couple hundred thousand newspapers each day, in a very short time frame, from downtown offices to subscribers throughout the state.

But he's up to it. He's worked for newspapers around the country, including the Chicago Tribune, and he brings real enthusiasm and dedication to the job.

He's especially dedicated to two things: on-time delivery and overall good customer service.

Koeppen says you should get your

Monday-Friday Deseret News by 5:30 p.m. or something's wrong.

Your Saturday paper oughta hit the porch by 6:30 a.m. and your Sunday paper by 7 a.m.

And if it doesn't arrive? Be calm. Koeppen will see you get it. The first step is to call your carrier. Might be a minor problem easily corrected.

However, lots of subscribers don't know their carrier or his or her number. In that event, simply call 237-2900 and state your problem.

If the paper is late, or wet, or a section is missing, a new one will be delivered as soon as possible. Deseret News area circulation managers are out prowling in radio-dispatched vans. The circulation office will be in touch with them quickly to get you a paper. No problem. No hassle. (At least that's the way it's supposed to work.) Please call before 8 p.m. on weekdays, 10 a.m. on Saturdays, and 1 p.m. on Sundays.

And if the problem persists? Call the same number, 237-2900, and describe the situation. Repeat problems are red-flagged. Area managers will work with carriers to solve problems. Carriers who simply won't do the job will be dismissed.

Koeppen is serious about providing good service. So serious, in fact, that he's willing to do the ultimate: Take your calls personally. If you're having a problem you just can't seem to get solved, call him. Dial 237-2900 and say, "Randy Koeppen asked me to call." (You will need to call during office hours.)

Randy aims to please. And we at the Deseret News appreciate that. Doesn't do much good to produce a great paper if it doesn't get to you.