A word to West Beverly Hills High senior Brenda Walsh - don't look now, but someone mailed off your application to an out-of-town college for an opening next semester.
You might find yourself matriculating with Andrea Zuckerman at Yale University - New Haven, 06520.Or studying finance back in your home state at the University of Minnesota - Minneapolis, 55455.
You may even get a beautician's discount on designer water after graduating from the International School of Cosmetology - Hawthorne, 90250.
Anywhere, as long as it's several ZIP codes away from Beverly Hills, 90210.
Seems the hefty price of a non-resident tuition would be much cheaper than keeping on Shannen Doherty, seen by many as an increasingly abrasive actress who breathes life into Brenda Walsh, the increasingly petulant female half of the Walsh twins.
The 21-year-old star of Fox's "90210" is becoming so disliked by her public, she has spawned an anti-fan club complete with newsletters, T-shirts and bumper stickers that say "I Hate Brenda" in black letters on a white background splattered with red drops.
Magazines weighed in with their opinion, too: Glamour named Doherty "Prima Donna of the Year" for 1992, Film Threat featured the derisive cartoon "Oh Shannen!" in its latest issue and Sassy checked in with "Shannen Doherty, pathetic loser!"
Next up is a 12-inch record with six songs by Rump called "Hating Brenda," due out this spring.
How far the trendy have fallen.
What Doherty thinks about her anti-fans is hers to know.
On her reputation, she was quoted in People saying:
"I'm not saying I don't have my moments of bitchiness because everybody has them. But it's never for no reason."
Her publicist, Susan Culley, didn't respond to requests to interview the actress.
However, in a statement released by the show's publicist, executive producer Aaron Spelling said: "We are very surprised at this negative attack on Brenda. It certainly isn't the response we're getting from the fans of the show. From what we have heard, the campaign appears to be in very poor taste and is obviously designed to attract media attention."
But others weren't at all shy to talk about the Brenda backlash.
"We're obsessive fans of `90210,' " said Kerin Morataya, who along with Darby (single name only, please) created both Rump and the I Hate Brenda anti-fan club. "We love everyone else on the show except her. We hate her. She pretends to be so moralistic. In reality, she's not."
Morataya, 22, views the newsletter as a swig of minty mouthwash, an antidote to the awful taste Brenda leaves in her mouth.
"She's destroying the lives of all these innocent people, and I just can't take it!" said Morataya, who can't be counted among the melodramatically impaired. "Who is this monster?"
But Darby, the 24-year-old publisher of the underground magazine Ben Is Dead, said the club is less about the character than the actress herself.
"It's all about Shannen Doherty and that's it," she said. "I think it's more the way she treats people."
Vowing they won't be stopped until she is off the show, Morataya and Darby created thousands of "I Hate Brenda" fliers last November, plastered them all over the UCLA campus and faxed them to every number in their possession.
A movement was born.
One night, the pair began rapping a song on Darby's answering machine: "I'm Brenda, I'm Brenda, I'm Brenda. I hate Kelly, I hate Dylan, I hate Donna, I hate David, I hate myself, I hate you!"
They are now in the process of signing on with Sub Pop Records, the Seattle label that discovered Nirvana and Soundgarden.
"It's a marketing coup," said Sub Pop co-owner Bruce Pavitt. "We know how to cash in on backlashes."
And what better way to cash in than trash what used to be America's teen sweetheart.
Brenda bashing is in.
"There definitely is a major backlash," said Randi Reisfeld, editor of the teen magazines 16 and Superstar. "That's real, that's true."
In a recent poll, Superstar readers preferred Jennie Garth (who plays Kelly Taylor) 2-to-1 over Doherty, Reisfeld said.
"She was the star of the show," Reisfeld said of Doherty. "Jennie was a snippy, nasty kind of princess. That entire thing has reversed."
While the show has never been ranked high in household ratings, often appearing in the bottom half of the weekly A.C. Nielsen Co. ratings, it has been a strong top 10 among the 12- to 18-year-old and 18- to 24-year-old demographics, said Dave Davis, a media analyst with Paul Kagan Associates. Advertisers buy commercial time according to demographics.
In the coming April issue of 16, Reisfeld is predicting Brenda will be shipped off to college, which is something she thinks both the audience and her readers eagerly are looking forward to.
"The kids are really starting to hate her," she said. "What's happened is her real-life nastiness has seeped into the character. It's not just the stuff in the tabloids, it's the whininess and the attitude. If she doesn't get what she wants when she wants it, she gets cranky."
Doherty was called Tantrum-A-Day Shannen in the early days of the show, according to Reisfeld, who has written several books on "Beverly Hills, 90210." "Apparently, she's a real horror," she said.
That's among the printable names Doherty has been called in a list that includes "barracuda" from the lips of Emmy producer Walter Miller, who was incensed when the actress skipped out on her obligation to present an award the day before last year's telecast.
Kevin Burke, who wrote the "Oh Shannen!" comic in the alternative movie magazine Film Threat, said he doesn't personally dislike Doherty.
"I'm sure Shannen's fine - it's just I think she chose the wrong time to be a young Republican," he said. "She seems like a smarmy, mewling kind of celebrity that you love to hate because they're jerks ..."
And Glamour dares to ask, "What's she gonna do when she really gets big?"
The magazine said Doherty earned the prima donna title by throwing a fit when only eight bottles of Evian arrived on the set of a TV movie after she specifically requested 10 to wash her hair.
And then there was the limo incident. "Doherty refused to walk across the street to the set, so a car picked her up, did a U-turn and dropped her off," according to Glamour.
"The whole thing was very tongue-in-cheek," said the magazine's spokeswoman Nicole Teeman. "It's Glamour's own award, but all the substantiating data was from tabloid magazines."
But Doherty's transgressions don't end with Evian and limos and even tabloids, for that matter.
In January, California's United Bank went to court to collect more than $36,000 it says Doherty owes for bouncing more than 70 checks.
In December, push came to shove when Doherty got into a scuffle with an aspiring actress at a Sunset Boulevard nightclub. Both were arrested, but no criminal charges were filed by the District Attorney's Office, which closed the case in January.
She was booed soundly at the Universal Amphitheatre when she appeared as a presenter at the Billboard Music Awards last year, although that followed generous applause for leading the pledge of allegiance at the Republican National Convention in Houston in August.
Darby and Morataya admit it's just a joke they're riding as far as they can before it runs out of fuel.
"All this Brenda stuff is taking over my life, and I could really care less about Brenda," Darby said. "In one sense, it's really funny because we did something as a joke and it became big and successful. But this isn't who I am. This is like a Mad magazine thing."
And if nothing else, Darby learned about the fickle nature of notoriety.
"So now I can recommend, if you want to get famous, you just get a fax machine and trash someone famous," she said.