To help divorced couples and their children make those transitions between parents at holiday time, Doreen Virtue suggests:1. Plan well in advance with everyone concerned.

2. Invite your children to share their feelings of sadness and disappointment. But also ask them to help you plan ways to make the holidays a close, fun time.

3. If you won't see your children on the actual days, plan on celebrating a "little Christmas" or "little Hanukkah" later. That will give you all something to look forward to.

4. Arrange to have some contact with your children, even if it's only a phone call. Keep the tone positive. You can be honest about feeling sad and missing them, but focus on looking forward to the next time you'll be together.

5. Holidays tend to intensify competition between ex-spouses. Don't spoil the season by being drawn into an argument. Don't gloat over who has the kids. Don't compete in gift giving. Concentrate instead on making it an enjoyable, meaningful time for the children.