Tired of nagging at your spouse or your kids? Or complaining about what they're doing wrong? Then why not start telling those you love what you do like - instead of what what you don't like - about their behavior.

They'll be much more likely to want to please and to tell you what they like about you, too! As you think about being more positive, consider these 40 occasions in which expressing your appreciation or delight could warm a heart or make a day. Your willingness to give credit for what's going right and to put into words the good feelings you experience is all that is necessary to bring out the best in yourself and others.So here goes. Express appreciation when:

- You catch your teenager actually being pleasant to one of your younger children.

- Your husband looks at the dent in the fender and inquires, "Honey, are you sure you're all right?"

- Your 8-year-old tells you the truth about breaking the antique vase your grandmother gave you - even though she knows you're seething.

- The family all piles into the car and there isn't a fight over who gets the front seat.

- Your son gives you a hug - for nothing!

- Your children are playing quietly together sharing, cooperating and having fun.

- You're late picking up your wife and she doesn't even comment.

- Your 12-year-old hasn't teased his younger sister for the past two hours.

- You make it through the grocery shopping without being embarrassed by your young children (or at least as embarrassed as you usually are).

- You ask your 10-year-old to do something and she says, "I'll do it." Then she does.

- Your telephone conversation isn't interrupted by a blood-curdling scream or by a "But, mommy, I have to talk to you NOW."

- Your 10-year-old spills her milk and says, "Don't worry about it, mom. I'll clean it up."

- Your son comes home from college without his laundry.

- You change your hair color and your husband says you look super (or at least doesn't ask you how much it cost).

- You say you're taking the family out to a special restaurant and no one starts crying because you're not going to McDonalds.

- Your 8-year-old goes to bed without being told.

- Two of your children decide to share the prize in the cereal box (a situation that usually ends in a duel to the death).

- Your husband tells your children something nice about you in your presence.

- Your 4-year-old plays with the cat gently instead of carrying her around by the tail.

- Your 14-year-old says, "Gee, Dad, you're the greatest" and it isn't because he wants money.

- Your wife asks you about your day.

- Your 12-year-old actually returns the (tape) (scissors) (pliers) (hammer) (airpump) he borrowed.

- Your teenager comes home early.

- Your 6-year-old doesn't have to go to the bathroom (which is at least a half a block away) while you're shopping in the mall.

- You snap at your husband and he says "You must have had a tough day."

- Your 13-year-old sees you drinking out of the pitcher (for which you've scolded him in the past) and doesn't say a word.

- Your wife calls during the day to tell you something pleasant.

- Your teenager cracks a joke that lightens your spirits.

- Your 8-year-old decides to read a book instead of watching TV.

- You're trying to move a heavy object and your husband says, "Here, let me do that for you."

- Your child wipes his muddy feet before he comes into the house.

- Your teenager asks you which radio station you'd like to listen to.

- You get into the car and there are no (Twinkie papers) (popcorn kernels) (pop cans) (straws) (dirty socks) (wet bathing suits) on the floor.

- A child turns out a light.

- Your 6-year-old helps your 4-year-old put on his socks.

- You walk into your teenager's room and can actually see the carpet.

- Your wife greets you with a hug and a big smile when you walk in the door.

- You open your magic chest-of-drawers and there, as usual, are clean socks and underwear.

- Your teenager listens to you (and seems to comprehend) when you give some sage advice.

- The mess you thought wasn't going to get cleaned up (unless you took care of it) did.

- Someone says, "I love you."