Boy do we have some good advice for you.

So, ok, you didn't ask for this advice. But who ever does? If you have to ask for advice, you probably don't have any close relatives.

We have good advice for you anyway, on a variety of subjects, from people who are experts in their fields.

We also have some bad advice. The two different type are clearly labeled in this article (unlike in life). We point out the difference between good advice and bad advice because if you already know the difference you are too smart to need advice anyway.

GOOD ADVICE

CLEANING: Myrna Wolf, co-owner of "Women's Work" housecleaning service, says, "Hire a professional!"

Then she says, "Actually, the one thing we train our people to do, which many who aren't professionals might not know, is to work from one edge of the room all around the outside. Start at the door and dust, wipe fingerprints, do everything - moving along the wall. Clean each piece of furniture on the wall as you come to it. Then clean the middle of the room. It's a more efficient use of time than bouncing around the room while you clean."

BANKING: Jim Freed, an attorney in commercial law with Ray, Quinney and Nebeker, says, "Money you can't afford to lose should only be placed in a federally insured institution. It doesn't matter so much whether it's a bank, credit union or savings and loan - just so it's federally insured."

DINNER PARTIES: Nutritionist Marion Cahoon Searle has studied with Martha Stewart, but says her real credentials are just liking people. She advises, "The most important thing is the comfort of your guests. Be organized, so you can enjoy them and they aren't left to entertain themselves.

"Make sure the table is set the night before and the kitchen is clean, with dishwasher empty and counters spotless before everyone comes. Then you have time to add fresh flowers and those personal touches that give your party pizzazz.

"I prefer small dinner parties. In a group of eight everyone can take part in the table conversation. Keep the food simple. Sometimes I think we serve things that are fancy or rich when people would enjoy pot roast and potatoes more."

EXERCISE: Patricia Eisenman, professor of exercise physiology at the University of Utah, has just one thing to say to all Americans on this subject so vital to our health. "DO IT."

FLOSSING YOUR TEETH: Flossing is the most mindless activity ever invented. Most people put off doing it. Flossing is also tacky-looking, giving us another reason to put it off; flossing's just not something you can take care of standing in line at the grocery store.

Now, however, Sylvia Kronstadt, Deseret News copy editor, has come up with a way to incorporate this hygienic practice into daily life. "I just floss while I watch the nightly news," she says. "I never used to floss because it's so boring; since I started doing it in front of the TV I haven't missed a night. Also with this method you don't splatter your bathroom mirror."

INVESTING: Kim Burgon, investment specialist for The New England, offers this general advice about investing, "The simplest thing people need to know is if you are only going to own one investment be sure to understand its risks. If you don't want to accept those risks - diversify. Stocks, bonds, money markets or real estate - there is no ONE thing really best to invest in. (However, real estate and stock have proved to do the best over time. Both average 8 percent above inflation.) Just remember: diversification, unless you understand and are willing to accept the risks of a single investment."

RAISING CHILDREN: Freeman Dunn, Ph.D., Timpanogos Community Mental Health Center, says, "Communication is the key. Encourage talk by not lecturing or criticizing and by disclosing things about yourself. Remember what you were like as a child and talk about it. Avoid the word `but,' as in `Great report card, BUT what about the science grade?'

"Learn to listen to what their heart says."

RETIREMENT: Dee Williams assistant director of the Utah State Retirement Office, says, "There are two pieces of advice retirees want to pass on to the younger generation: First, plan your retirement lifestyles - whether it's a second career or how to spend your free time - in great detail.

"And this second idea I'd like to put into an aerosol can and spray on those new employees: Everyone who retires asks themselves, `Why didn't I start saving in my IRA or tax deferral account sooner and why didn't I put more in?' "

SLEEP: Dr. Robert Farney, Sleep Clinic, LDS Hospital, says, "There are no simple solutions to the problems of insomnia. No silver bullet. There are simple things that can be done, both medical and nonmedical, but first a person who has poor quality or duration of sleep should have a medical evaluation to rule out sleep apnea or narcolepsy.

"Ninety percent of the patients who come to the clinic have one of these two physical problems. And they are serious problems. Because they can cause cardiac arrythmia, they can be lethal."

TRAVEL: Kathryn Clayton, Deseret News travel writer, suggests, "Take along all the money you have and more."

Bad Advice

"Be yourself" is the worst advice you can give to some people.

Craig Wirth, of KTVX's "Wirth Watching," says most of the advice he gets is not to work in front of a camera. (Even his mother has told him this, though with a more gentle tone in her voice than others use.) But is this bad advice or not? Witrh can't decide.

He says, "I guess the advice I know was bad, and this I got from several people, was, `Don't buy land in Park City. And oh, no, not in the Avenues either. Sink your savings into Utah penny stocks. And a used Edsel, there's a good investment.' I took that advice and that's why I am still working for a living.'

Eloise Bell, professor of English at BYU, says the worst advice she was givencame from her mother when she was in junior high school. After Bell had only taken lessons for two years, her mother advised her to give up the trumpet. "Now maybe tiis isn't a loss to the music, world," she says, "but to me personally it is. I mean, there was this great romantic comedy with Rex Harrison where Kay Kendall played a trumpet.....

She's always wanted to toot her own horn. "I just with I had stuck with it."

But look on the bright side. In those two brief years Bell did learn "Reveille," so she does have one number to perform in the early morning on faculty retreats.

Thayne Robson, director of the Bureau of Economic and Business research at the University of udtah, believes most of the bad advice he's received has been from the Deseret News reproters. He's also had a lot of bad advice about what stocks to buy, he says. But ultimately, he concludes, the all-time worst advice he got was as an undergraduate in college. It was, "Don't take anymore math classes."

The worst advice anyone ever gave Alexis Fernandez, a KSL-TV reporter, was, "Do natural childbirth."

Attorney Jim Freed recalls the worst advice he ever got was back in 1968 when his father said, "Vote for Richard Nixon."

The award for the best worst advice goes to Mayor Palmer DePaulis. Back in 1970 when he and his wife took their Mustang in for repairs the car dealer said, "Take my advice, this Mustang won't last another year. Trade it in on one of our new Pintos."