* WINNER: Utah - for doing the best job in the nation when it comes to fighting drunken driving. That's the word this week from Mothers Against Drunk Driving, after the national organization graded all states on their efforts to make the highways safer from this major menace.

LOSER: The country as a whole - which received only a "C average" from MADD. Yes, it's encouraging that traffic deaths related to drinking have declined 20 percent in the past 10 years. But with about 22,500 Americans killed and 345,000 injured in alcohol-related crashes in just one year, there's still much to do in keeping drunks off the roads.* WINNERS: Children in the poorer countries of the world. A new report shows that infant death rates in such nations have dropped almost 10 percent in just the past five years. The improvement is due in large part to the immunization of some 316 million children.

LOSER: The inept robber in Jacksonville, Fla., who wore a paper bag over his head when trying to hold up a grocery store. The bag had holes cut in it so the robber could see, but it shifted during the attempted holdup, leaving the man in the dark. When he moved the bag back into place, it ripped - revealing the face of a regular customer. Police are still seeking him. Maybe he's still wearing the bag over his head - out of embarrassment.

LOSER: Ken Sunada, who took out the trash at his Honolulu home the other day and left it at the curb - along with a briefcase containing $15,000. Talk about being absent-minded!

LOSERS: The Honolulu trash collectors who returned Ken Sunada's briefcase - but only after police ordered them to and only after spending $3,350 of the money. For shame.

* WINNER: Procter & Gamble Co. - for deciding this week to ban smoking in all its office buildings and technical centers in the United States, starting next fall. The step is being taken to provide a safe, healthy working environment for P&G's employees. Does this give an idea to other employers?