DEAR ABBY: I just read the letter from the married woman signed "Gladys," who said she was in love with a married man, but neither of them would consider divorce. They meet privately and hug, kiss passionately, etc., but no sex. She asked you if this could be considered an "affair." It sounded familiar.

Listen to this: Ten years ago I suspected my husband was having an affair with a woman at the office. I confronted him and he denied any physical affair. He said he just couldn't get away from her - she always needed to "talk." I gave him a choice, her or me. He chose me.Well, he talked to her, and she came to our home to deny any physical affair and to ask if they could just have a Bible study at lunch hour together. My reply was "NO," they couldn't even do that!

Shortly afterward, this woman and her family moved into our neighborhood and joined our church.

Three months ago, my husband said, "We have to talk. I have been committing adultery for the last 10 years with this woman at the office. Please forgive me. I promise never to see her again."

When I finally calmed down, he said, "Wait, there's more." Abby, this woman had such an attack of conscience, she went to our pastor and confessed everything, so the pastor in turn called on me and told me that we could no longer attend his church! Can you believe this? - ARIZONA

DEAR ARIZONA: After writing this column for more than 35 years, I can believe anything, but I am disturbed about the actions of your pastor. He exceeded his authority when he dismissed you from his church. A church is not a museum for saints; it's a hospital for sinners. Report that pastor to his superior. He is accountable to the head of his diocese - or the equivalent.

DEAR ABBY: I have had many sleepless nights since I read the column about the mystery word for the person who makes up crossword puzzles. If it wasn't listed in any dictionary, thesaurus or word-finder, where on earth did you find the word "cruciverbalist"? Please enlighten us.

I am an English major and crossword puzzle addict, but I have never heard of that word, nor can I find it in any reference material to which I have access. - M. BARLOW, NEWARK, DEL.

DEAR M. BARLOW: I telephoned the public library and asked if it had any books about the origin, history or composition of crossword puzzles. It had only two: "Creative Cruciverbalists: Those Curious Crossword Creators and Their Best Puzzles" by Helene Hovanec, and "The Compleat Cruciverbalist, or How to Solve and Compose Crossword Puzzles for Fun and Profit" by Stan Kurzban and Mel Rosen.

DEAR ABBY: Thank you for your informative column on diabetes. I wonder how many people know that dogs can be diabetic as well as humans.

About nine months ago, my dog (8 years old) began to drink excessively (and, quite naturally, to urinate more frequently) and wanted to eat constantly. He didn't enjoy our daily walks and he gained weight.

I took him to our vet, who diagnosed him as diabetic. His blood sugar is now monitored daily; his weight, weekly, etc. - the same as humans. He also gets an insulin injection daily.

I wonder if all pet owners are aware that their pet could be diabetic, and checked the symptoms you had in your column. I hope so. It was very helpful. - CATSKILL (N.Y.) ANIMAL LOVER

DEAR ABBY: I am married, have two young children and am 41/2 months pregnant. I also weigh 270 pounds. The problem (besides my weight) is that I can't find any maternity clothes to fit me! Are fat women not allowed to get pregnant? Do designers feel that fat women who become pregnant don't deserve maternity clothes?

What am I supposed to do for maternity clothes, Abby? Also, I'd love to name my baby Abigail after you, if it's a girl - but my husband won't let me. - UNCLOTHED AND PREGNANT

DEAR UNCLOTHED: Find a person who can make something for you to wear. A man or woman who sews professionally will be the answer to your prayers. Inquire at your local fabric shop if you don't know such a person.

Sorry your husband won't let you name your baby after me. Since "Abigail"' was good enough for the Old Testament, it should be good enough for your husband.