DEAR ABBY: My husband has a close friend about his age (late 30s) who has a lot going for him. He's smart, college-educated, has a lovely wife (also college-educated), is very well-mannered and has a great personality.

So what's the problem? You won't believe this - but the man does not know how to hold a dinner fork correctly! He "makes a fist" and holds the fork in this fist - like a 3-year-old child. His wife holds her fork correctly. Why she hasn't corrected her husband, I'll never know!If you use this in your column, I will clip it and mail it to him anonymously. I haven't the heart - or courage - to tell him face to face, but a man who is going up the corporate ladder, as he is, should know how to hold a dinner fork. - FRIEND IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR FRIEND: I doubt if the way a man holds his dinner fork will impede his ascension up the corporate ladder. Nor would it disqualify him from memberships in the ultra-exclusive Bohemian Club, or Mensa, an international organization for people with IQs in the top 2 percent of the general population. But here's your letter for clipping and mailing.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for eight years. My husband is a very good man. He is 38 years old; I am 30. We both knew at the time of our marraige that I was unable to have children. Now that I have turned 30, my desire for a family is very strong and I would like to look into adoption. I have spoken to my husband about this numerous times, and he does not want to adopt. He was married once before and has two children from that marriage. (They are now 18 and 20.) He says we can't afford children, which is not true.

Abby, I am considering divorce so I can begin looking for someone who wants the same things I do. I don't know what else to do. I really want to work things out, but I don't want to push him into something he doesn't want.

I need help. What should I do? - BABIES OR BUST

DEAR BABIES OR BUST: Your chances for "busting" are better than your chances for adopting a child with this man. You knew when you married him that he did not want children. See a marriage counselor to make sure it's children you really want and not a happier marriage.

DEAR ABBY: I received the enclosed message along with a wedding invitation. It did not set well with me, and I would like your thoughts on this matter:

"As we join our households together, our gift needs are few. If you wish to give us a wedding present, please consider a monetary gift that we can use for our wedding and honeymoon. Thank you! John and Mary" (Not their real names.) - ANONYMOUS

DEAR ANONYMOUS: If you had asked "John and Mary" what they wanted for their wedding gift, the above message would have been appropriate, but a blatant request for money is in very poor taste.

By popular request, Abby shares more of her favorite prize-winning, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada), to: More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054. (Postage is included.)