DEAR ABBY: In response to the letter from "New Jersey," who asked what to give a nurse and the nurse's aides for being extra kind to her elderly mother in a nursing home, you replied, "M-O-N-E-Y."
Abby, a nurse could get F-I-R-E-D for accepting money from a patient or the patient's family. It is considered unethical for health-care professionals to accept monetary gifts.A card or note expressing sincere appreciation is acceptable and more than adequate. By this time, you have probably heard from several others, right? - SEVERAL REGISTERED NURSES, GASTONIA, N.C.
DEAR NURSES: "Several hundred" would be more accurate. I blew it! Read on:
DEAR ABBY: It is so good to hear that there are people who appreciate the quality of care provided in our nursing home. Most of the time all we get is criticism. In Texas, most nursing facilities will not accept cash gifts from residents and their families. A written thank-you note is all we need or may accept. - A CARING NURSE IN WACO, TEXAS
DEAR ABBY: Your advice to give money as a gift to nurses and aides at holiday time is a no-no. I am an aide, and we are not allowed to accept money from patients or their families. - NURSE'S AIDE, PITCAIRN, PA.
DEAR ABBY: I am a CNA (certified nursing assistant) and have had six months of LPN training. We are professional people who are not allowed to accept gratuities for our care. A nurse or nursing assistant could lose her job and license by accepting (a monetary) gift.
Personally, I appreciate a sincere letter of recommendation and praise, which can be used at any time for a reference. A copy should always be sent to the nursing supervisors. (If your nurse or assistant is underpaid, your letter may help correct that.)
One last comment to your readers: Your relatives in nursing homes are being cared for by an entire team working around the clock on three different shifts, and by singling out one particular staff member, you are slighting every other member of the team. Frequently, gifts of candy, fruit or cookies are delivered to the day shift, and the afternoon and evening shifts never see more than the empty box in the trash! Such gifts should be brought in three separate containers, clearly marked for each shift. Sign me . . . FORGOTTEN ON THE NIGHT SHIFT IN ONAWAY, MICH.
DEAR ABBY: Offering a nurse money for her professional services is demeaning and insulting. It's the same as "tipping." Abby, nurses are not waitresses! I think you owe nurses an apology. - FRESNO READER
DEAR READER: I think you owe waitresses an apology.
DEAR ABBY: I'll get right to the point. I am 45, female, divorced, no children, and I've been told that I am very good-looking. I live in Beverly Hills, Calif., but will travel anywhere for the right opportunity. All I want is a decent man - age is no object as long as he's ambulatory, but he has to have MONEY. Any suggestions? - LOOKING FOR DADDY WARBUCKS
DEAR LOOKING: Gail Sheehy said, "The best way to attract money is to give the appearance of having it." Trust her.
People are eating them up! For Abby's favorite recipes, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada), to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054. (Postage is included.)