I don't have a name for this kind of column. Some people call them "Columns with pointy fingers in them."
So here's a "pointy finger" column:WHAT I LEARNED FROM DESERT STORM: There's no such thing as a "good" war, there are just practical and impractical wars. Desert Storm was a practical war; we'd exhausted our options until war became the only viable choice. It was a tragedy that prevented more horrible tragedies.
As with our failure to eliminate poverty and discrimination, Desert Storm showed our limited imagination as human beings. From the president on down to the lowliest columnist, no one on earth had the imagination needed to solve the problem without going to war.
Desert Storm was an impressive victory. It was also a comment on humanity's limited intelligence.
Ned: So, Fred, where are you going on your summer vacation this year?
Fred: Oh, I thought the Mrs. and I would visit Moscow, then Paris, then go to Berne and Malta.
Ned: Good grief! That's the most expensive vacation I've heard of.
Fred: What's so expensive about traveling through Idaho?
I remember reading that dogs - when confronted by other dogs - have no sense of size. The cockapoo thinks it's every bit as big as the St. Bernard.
We smile at that, but I've found people suffer from the same problem. We know each other's physical size, but really have no sense of each other's true "stature." Most of the time we can't tell spiritual giants from spiritual dwarfs for the life of us.
Makes me wonder if someone out there isn't smiling at us, just as we smile at silly cockapoos.
For those of you who've never met me, and are foolish enough to think I actually look like my column picture, here's how to spot me in a crowd:
I'm the guy who wears Reebok shoes and white socks - all the time. In fact, last year my family gave me so many pairs of white socks (we're talking dozens and dozens here) that now I'm in a pickle. I have to wear white socks every day so they don't pile up. I need to keep them moving around; have to make sure some pairs are in the dirty clothes, some in the basement "clean clothes" pile and also others in my dresser. If I don't, I'd get a backlog of white socks that would soon swallow my bedroom, my available space and my sanity.
I know there's a lesson in all this; something about "making your sock drawer and lying in it" perhaps, or "looking gift socks in the mouth."
When I learn that lesson, I'll let you know.
Right now I'm too busy trying to outrun this avalanche of white socks.
Three strange things I heard on KSL radio while driving to work this morning:
I heard Bob Welti say winds were blustering "gaily" (Or was that "galey"?) about the valley. I heard a man talk about the "stable condition" of his injured horses, and I heard that the red, white and blue patriots of St. George banded together to elect "Karl Marx."
As they say, KSL Radio is the one to watch.