DEAR ABBY: When my daughter was 16 1/2, she met what we thought at the time was a nice young man, 18. He was her first real boyfriend. He came over a lot; we met his parents. They told us what a fine Christian family they were.
We thought it was odd that all of a sudden he decided to transfer to college out of state. We found out the weekend after he left that our daughter was pregnant! I went to his folks and told them. That next weekend, they had their son come home from college and they all came over.They said that they would like to help out financially but couldn't because they had two kids in college. They bought their son a sports car and a motorcycle. My daughter asked him to pay $8 for half her vitamins. He refused. She got a few letters from him, then a phone call saying he had a new girlfriend, and she should just find someone else (when she is seven months pregnant?).
My daughter was planning on going through adoption; her boyfriend's parents said they sure didn't believe in abortion. Well, the adoption didn't go through. She kept the baby. Since she lives at home, she doesn't qualify for support other than medical care for the baby. We have expenses for formulas, diapers, etc. She wants to finish her senior year in high school. Meanwhile, the boyfriend is driving his sports car and motorcycle. He called and asked why she didn't let him know she kept the child but refuses to help out financially.
I only hope this letter will help some teenager realize she is too young to listen to the boy she thinks is the greatest. My daughter thought he could do no wrong but found out differently - the hard way. - LINCOLN, NEB., GRANDMA
DEAR GRANDMA: This young man is legally responsible for the child he fathered at age 18. The legal system is on your side - and you should find out to what extent. Please don't wait. See a lawyer.
DEAR ABBY: I am not writing for a solution but hope that sharing our family's experience might benefit others.
After our daughter had been married for a couple of years, we decided to give her and her husband her "inheritance" early so they could buy a house. They had gone together for a number of years, and we felt confident that this marriage would go the distance. We were wrong.
They are now being divorced, and HE is getting the house! In our ignorance, we gave them a large sum of money to buy the house. The papers were drawn up in both their names. Big mistake! Details would make this letter much too long, but our daughter is getting the short end of the stick and is losing much of the money we intended her to have.
Abby, please advise anyone considering giving a sizable check to a married daughter or son to make it out in the name of your child only. Naturally, any appreciation on the house or interest earned on money becomes joint property, but the initial gift would have been our daughter's if we had made out the papers and checks in her name only. - OLDER AND WISER
DEAR OLDER AND WISER: Thanks for a valuable letter.
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