DEAR READERS: What better day to revive my Ten Commandments of Love! Yes, Dear Readers, I actually had the chutzpah to write my own Ten Commandments - but that was more than 20 years ago when I was younger and knew everything.
Originally, I had written two sets of commandments - one for men and one for women. Then an early feminist from Milwaukee wrote, demanding equality for women, insisting there should be one set of commandments for both genders. She won. So how is this for a gender bender?THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF LOVEThou shalt put thy mate before thy mother, thy father, thy son and thy daughter, for thy mate is thy lifelong companion.
Abuse not thy body with excessive food, tobacco or drink, that thy days may be many and healthful in the presence of thy loved ones.
Permit neither thy business nor thy hobby to make of thee a stranger to thy children, for the most precious gift a parent giveth his or her family is time.
Forget not the virtue of cleanliness.
Make not thy mate a beggar, but willingly share with thy mate thy wordly goods.
Forget not to say, "I love you." For even though thy love may be constant, thy mate doth yearn to hear those words.
Remember that the approval of thy mate is worth more than the admiring glances of a hundred strangers, so cleave unto thy mate and forsake all others.
Keep thy home in good repair, for out of it cometh the joys of old age.
Forgive with grace. For who among us does not need to be forgiven?
Honor the Lord thy God all the days of thy life, and thy children will rise up and call thee blessed.
DEAR ABBY: I've been dating a man for nearly two years. He has never been married, and I am a widow. He earns about 11/2 times the salary I make. Our financial obligations are about even. I've given him several small gifts for no special reason except I wanted to please him. (Once it was a tin of gourmet cat food for his pet.) I have had him over to my house for nice dinners quite often. He keeps telling me how much he enjoys home cooking. He has taken me to dinner occasionally, but he says he doesn't enjoy eating out much.
As Christmas approached, he told me he didn't enjoy Christmas. I thought he meant because it had become so commercial and had gotten so far away from the original meaning of the holiday. I gave him a $40 sweater. He gave me a $2.98 paperback book because he doesn't enjoy shopping.
When my birthday rolled around, I discovered he didn't "enjoy" birthdays, either. I didn't even get a card.
I finally told him I thought he was cheap, and he reminded me that he had installed washers on a leaky spigot in my kitchen.
He doesn't enjoy movies, but he enjoys television. There are so few things this man enjoys I wonder what's wrong with him. What do you think? - ANONYMOUS IN SAN BERNARDINO
DEAR ANONYMOUS: I think he "enjoys" saving a buck.
People are eating them up! For Abby's favorite recipes, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054. (Postage is included.)