Not that the staff of Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, worries about terrorism from the war, but misplaced rolls of toilet paper brought the bomb squad, an evacuation - and new Capitol lore.
The saga began when Hatch's staff huddled in his private chamber over his plans to pore. Then came a mysterious rapping, rapping at his hallway door."But no one - except maybe a lost tourist - ever knocks on that door," said Hatch's press secretary, Paul Smith. So would they answer it? Nevermore.
They continued to talk of Hatch's plans, from topics of terrorism to war. Did they worry more about that knock. Of course not. Why? What for? That is until they finished and left by a different interior side door. And then a sight there struck Hatch's secretary to the core.
It was a box, sealed on top. And not a word anywhere it bore. She asked another there if she knew what that box was for. They agreed it was not to be expected among the usual office decor.
Then they pondered until weak and weary about all of Hatch's warnings of terrorism and more. And remembered then the strange knock upon his personal chamber door. Their terror grew as they looked at that box sitting there on the floor.
What if their boss was a target for attack for speaking out against Iraq - a truly unspeakable horror?
The Capitol police immediately came running o'er. Quoth Smith, "I've never seen so many police here before."
The police decided to evacuate the area, and Hatch's staff filed quietly outside the door. The bomb squad came, and heavy padding and helmets they wore.
They carefully used high-tech gadgets to look at the box and its contents explore. When no sign of electronics were found, they decided to open the top - and away the tape they tore.
There was no bomb's roar. Simply rolls and rolls of toilet paper sitting inside the box upon the floor.
Then they figured what must have happened with that mysterious knock upon the door. The toilet paper was probably for the senator's gym across the hall, but on the same floor. The rooms are easy to confuse because neither has signs upon their door.
Oops. But better safe than sorry. Will the episode cause Hatch's staff to lower its guard against terrorism from the war? Quoth the press secretary, "Nevermore."