DEAR ABBY: Simply put, I'm attracted to a man whom I believe is attracted to me. Anyway, the problem is his nose. It's very large. He is an educated professional with a good job, so money is no object. This is a very difficult subject to broach, but the physical repulsiveness of his nose is a factor in my feelings for him.
Please understand, Abby, I am not snotty or stuck up, but in all honesty, I must confess that I am repulsed by his nose and wish that he would do something about it. Please give me your opinion. - NOSING AROUNDDEAR NOSING: If you can't overcome the repulsiveness of his nose, you may never know the greatness of his heart and mind.
However, since his nose does not appear to get in HIS way, it would be very presumptuous of you to suggest that he "do something" about it.
DEAR ABBY: This question may be better left unanswered, but for 38 years I have thought about it and I need advice. I gave up my newborn baby boy to a childless couple because I was unmarried and the baby's father wanted no part of him.
I have known the name of the couple since the day I signed the papers at the adoption agency, but I have made no attempt to contact them or the boy, as that was the agreement.
Sometimes I get an overwhelming desire to know what he looks like, what he is doing, if he's married and if he has a family. I would never want to cause any problems for him or the people who adopted him. I often wonder what they have told him about his biological mother, and if he has any desire to see me. I am happily married now and have grown children who know nothing about their half-brother - so it would be hard to explain after all these years.
Should I just forget about him? I know I have no right to interfere in his life, but I am . . . FRUSTRATED IN IOWA
DEAR FRUSTRATED: It's only natural for you to want to know what he looks like, if he's married and has a family, and the answers to a host of other questions that must have crossed your mind. If he is aware that he is adopted (and he probably is), he must be equally curious to know something about his birth mother.
Please give him the chance to make that decision. Contact the agency through which you placed your son for adoption and let it know your whereabouts (in writing) so that your son will be able to find you if he wishes to do so.
I think your son should be made aware of your desire to see him again, although it would be better for both parties if the initial contact were made through a third party. I am betting that this story will have a happy ending. Please write again and let me know. Bless you, Mother.
People are eating them up! For Abby's favorite recipes, send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054. (Postage is included.)