OK, it's already one week into 1991, and how many of you have actually kept all your New Year's resolutions?
I actually had one resolution in mind I knew I could keep - not to make anymore resolutions I would never keep - but I decided that was a cop-out.However, I did find one solution - to resolve to make a list of resolutions that would actually benefit myself, my friends and family and still be reasonable enough for me to keep.
I know, maybe I should have put in this thinking before the new year and actually had this list in mind as midnight rolled closer, but how many of us actually do any thinking on the subject beforehand?
Anyway, without much further ado, here's a list of 10 resolutions that made the cut - five that didn't and some resolutions we can all make to make Happy Valley a little slice of heaven (but no wagering, please, remember this is not a competition):
1. To be a kinder and gentler person, and not just for George Bush's sake.
2. To have an open mind, especially when it comes to political views (usually 90 percent of the American public is to the right of my beliefs) and to musical styles (usually country-western, heavy metal and new-age jazz) that are not my particular favorites.
3. To not write any more columns criticizing BYU football and basketball, the Utah Jazz, the Oakland Athletics or the Denver Broncos (this goes along with being a better sport when cheering for my particular favorites - the Utah State Aggie football and basketball teams, the Los Angeles Lakers, the Boston Red Sox and the Los Angeles Raiders).
4. To become a better professional.
5. To keep and improve upon my current vegetarian vows, which are slowly progressing.
6. To not run up any more large long-distance phone bills to Salt Lake City, which should be easier due to situations that I won't go into here (both should go a long way toward furthering my relations with my father).
7. To not drive so fast on the highways, which usually is balanced out by Utah County drivers who putt along at least more than 10 miles per hour under the speed limit. Also, to not use so much gasoline and oil, but not for the reasons you might be thinking.
8. To love, cherish and appreciate my friends and family more than I already do, and to try to love and appreciate people more who aren't friends and family (not an easy resolution, again, with situations I won't go into here).
9. To not gloat, even when I know I'm right and you're not.
10. To read more and not watch so much television.
1. To go to more Salt Lake Trappers home games and make a general nuisance of myself there.
2. To try to win over more people to my ways of thinking.
3. To continue to write about concerts and albums that most of you haven't heard, haven't wanted to hear and will never hear.
4. To continue to buy and tape bumper stickers on my car that enrage people enough to ride on my tail or flash their brights at me.
5. To wear more hairstyles than any other male around.
Things you can do to improve yourselves and your surroundings:
Pay particular attention to my worthy numbers 1, 2, 5, 7, 8 and 10, and not take yourselves and me so seriously. Also, wish for peace, take care and have a Happy New Year.
Jeff Vice, Payson, is a staff writer in the Deseret News Utah County bureau.