Longtime "Married . . . With Children" watchers (and I know you're out there) know that the last couple of seasons haven't been good to next-door-neighbor Marcy (Amanda Bearse).
Her marriage broke up when husband Steve (David Garrison) left to become a forest ranger. (In real life, Garrison left to do a musical and then took a part on the short-lived "Working It Out.")Marcy also lost her job as a bank manager and hasn't had much luck on the dating scene - until now. She's getting married again on Sunday's episode (8 p.m., Ch. 13).
But whether her luck is good or bad isn't quite certain. As a matter of fact, Marcy doesn't even know the guy she's getting hitched to.
It seems that after a night drowning her sorrows at a bar, Marcy wakes up with a hangover and a husband.
Played by Ted McGinley (who's been on "Happy Days," "The Love Boat" and "Dynasty"), Jefferson is a recently paroled inside-trading yuppie.
Those wonderful neighbors, the Bundys, decided to throw the couple a second wedding in their back yard. And you can just imagine how that will turn out.
Oh, one more thing. Jefferson's last name is D'Arcy.
So Marcy's name is now Marcy D'Arcy.
MARRIED . . . AND PREGNANT: Katey Sagal, who stars as Peg Bundy - the world's worst wife and mother - is pregnant in real life.
The producers of "Married" haven't decided yet if they'll write the pregnancy into the scripts. But here's one vote against adding a baby to the Bundy household.
While the way Peg neglects her husband and teenage children is funny, in a somewhat sick sort of way, let's hope they don't try to mine humor from neglecting an infant.
CHANGING DIRECTIONS: Even the folks who produce the awful "Going Places" (seen locally on Fridays at 8:30 p.m.) have finally figured out that something is wrong.
On Jan. 11, Steve Vinovich joins the cast at an obnoxious talk-show host and Philip Charles MacKenzie (last seen on "Open House") as his even more obnoxious producer.
Then, on Jan. 18, young J.D. Daniels comes aboard as Kate's (Hallie Todd) nephew.
It seems that, on the show, our four heroes will lose their jobs writing for an "America's Funniest Home Videos" clone when that show is canceled. They'll quickly find new employment as writers for a talk show.
Oh, if only truth could imitate fiction. Mr. Spud can only dream . . . "AFHV" canceled and the cast of "Going Places" out of a job.
NEW CHANNELS: At least the folks in Provo are getting a little bit more out of the upcoming cable rate increase announced by TCI - they'll finally have access to KXIV-Ch. 14 (found, surprisingly enough, on Ch. 14) and Prime Sports Network and the Financial News Network, which are sharing time on Ch. 15.
And they didn't lose any channels, either - the others were bumped to higher numbers on the dial.
Now, if only the rest of TCI's customers could feel like they're getting something extra for the extra money.
AIR DATE: The much-anticipated Lucille Ball-Desi Arnaz telemovie finally has a spot on CBS' schedule - "Lucy & Desi: Before the Laughter" will be broadcast Sunday, Feb. 17.
The story follows the television legends from their first meeting to the taping of the first episode of "I Love Lucy" in 1951.
The movie was made without the cooperation of any of Lucy and Desi's survivors, however.
IT HAD TO HAPPEN: To no one's surprise, Bob Hope's recent trip to the Persian Gulf will turn up as a television special.
The 90-minute "Bob Hope's Christmas Cheer From Saudi Arabia" will air Saturday, Jan. 12, at 8:30 p.m. on Ch. 2.
The show will feature clips of Hope, along with Aaron Tippin, Johnny Bench and Walter Payton, entertaining the troops in Saudi Arabia.
The Saudis wouldn't let women performers into the country, but that doesn't mean Ann Jillian, Marie Osmond and the Pointer Sisters didn't perform anyway. They were taped doing their stuff on naval vessels off the shore of Bahrain.
OLDIE BUT GOODIE: Speaking of show business legends, CBS will broadcast George Burns' 95th birthday celebration on Friday, Feb. 1.
Among the guests will be Milton Berle, Red Buttons, Sid Caesar, Whitney Houston, Richard Lewis, Ann-Margaret, Kenny Rogers, Ben Vereen and Bob Saget - who, hopefully, will leave the home videos at home.
BACK OFF: And speaking of the Persian Gulf, don't you wish that our good friends in television - both nationally and locally - would stop treating the crisis like some kind of ratings-booster?
Specifically, recent commercials wishing the troops in Saudi Arabia a merry Christmas bordered on the tasteless. Those troops couldn't possibly have seen the ads, and they seemed on the verge of exploitation - sort of "watch us because we're patriotic."