Ah, New Year's Day. A time for new beginnings, new commitments, new outlooks . . . and New Year's resolutions.

Mr. Spud, being that he's so bad at making and keeping resolutions himself, would like to take this opportunity to make some New Year's resolutions for a few of our friends out there in television land.- Mark Eubank should try to remember - at least occasionally - that it's just the weather he's talking about.

- KSL executives, meanwhile, should calm down a bit and stop doing handsprings over the fact they stole Eubank away from KUTV. Show a little dignity - and don't count your rating points before they're tallied.

- Dick Nourse, would you please resolve to hire someone to shovel your driveway for you? We're tired of hearing you relate every approaching snowstorm to your shoveling efforts.

- Phil Riesen should resolve to try to look a little more at ease even when Kimberly Perkins has the night off.

- Shelley Thomas should resolve to learn something about sports. Or at least insist her co-workers stop making jokes about how little she knows about sports.

- Steve Brown should resolve to bag Brown's Bag.

- Wesley Ruff should resolve that if he's only got a sports cliche to say, he shouldn't say anything at all.

- KSL sportscasters should resolve to only run a Play of the Day when there's one worth running.

- Dave Fox should resolve to keep having as much fun as he does but with a tad less smugness.

- Hot Rod Hundley should resolve to go an entire game without complaining about the officiating. Or maybe an entire half. Or maybe an entire quarter. Or maybe a minute or two.

- Mark Frost and David Lynch (creators/writers/producers/directors of "Twin Peaks") should resolve to remember - at least once in a while - that while atmosphere is nice, plot development is also important to a TV series.

- Delta Burke should resolve to remember that her producers have made her a fabulously wealthy and famous woman, be nice, quit whining and just go back to work.

- "Golden Girls" scriptwriters should resolve to stop competing with "Married . . . With Children" scriptwriters to see who can pack a sitcom with the most sexual humor.

- Jane Pauley should resolve to learn something about "Real Life" before she continues reporting on it.

- Bob Saget should resolve to just shut up while we're watching "America's Funniest Home Videos." Those voiceovers make the clips less humorous.

- ABC should resolve to put something funny on Friday nights. Those four "comedies" they have aren't.

- CBS should resolve to get "Northern Exposure" back on the air quickly.

- NBC should resolve to stop overhyping "Dark Shadows." It's pretty good, but they may be building expectations so high no show can match them.

- Fox should resolve to find something in addition to "The Simpsons" on which to build a network.

- PBS should resolve to do more things like "The Civil War."

- TCI should resolve to stop wasting money on advertising campaigns telling us how great a company they are. Maybe then they wouldn't have to raise our cable rates - again.

- Roseanne Barr should resolve to cut the umbilical cord connecting her to her second husband, Tom Arnold. Can't that woman go anywhere or do anything without that hanger-on hanging on?

- Tom Arnold, meanwhile, should resolve to get some talent. Or at least stop writing episodes of "Roseanne" and doing standup until he has something funny to say.

- Bill Cosby should resolve to go back and watch reruns of the first year of his show. You know, back when it was funny.

- "Saturday Night Live" should resolve to cut back from 90 minutes to an hour. There's never anything funny in that last half-hour anyway.

- "WIOU" should resolve to determine whether it wants to be like "St. Elsewhere" or "Not Necessarily the News." Straddling the two isn't working.

- "thirtysomething" should resolve to spend more time at the office. Those are about the only plotlines that are interesting any more.

- Couch Potatoes everywhere should resolve to remember this is only TV we're talking about.

- And, OK, Mr. Spud should resolve to remember he's just another TV watcher - albeit one who gets to write about what he's watching.

The next time he falls into that "I'm-a-critic-so-I'll-be-critical" mindset, he should be forced to spend an entire day watching "America's Funniest People," "A Different World," "Going Places," "Growing Pains," "Uncle Buck" . . .