Orlando's Dennis Scott got his first taste of the kind of respect rookies get in the league when he was victimized by former Magic player Sidney Green.
Green set up a scheme whereby Scott was told he was going to be interviewed by a woman who was nine months pregnant. Green then hired an actress to the play the part. When Scott and the woman got on an elevator to go to the interview room, the elevator was shut down.The woman pretended she was going into labor and started screaming. Scott, in a quandry as to what to do, began helping her with the Lamaze breathing technique and singing the song "Baby Face" to get her calmed down.
When the elevator door opened about 20 minutes later, Scott was met by Green, who was singing "Baby Face" and breathing heavily.
YOU GOTTA LOVE IT: Ever wish you had Jazz announcer Hot Rod Hundley's job? Apparently some people do. In Orlando and Sacramento, fantasy broadcast booths have popped up.
The Orlando booth allows anyone willing to fork out $40 to go in the booth and call five minutes of action during a Magic game. The fantasy announcer receives a souvenir VHS videotape of the performance. In Sacramento, Kings fans can announce games in a simulated booth for five minutes and receive a tape for $45.
So far as the Jazz are concerned, there are no immediate plans for a fantasy booth. Utah fans will have have to just turn down the volume on the TV and call the action into their tape recorders . . .
BUT THE BEST JOB EVER: Magic Magazine, the official publication of the Orlando basketball team, recently asked players the question, "If you weren't playing basketball, which career would you choose?"
Michael Ansley chose a teacher. Terry Catledge, a college coach. Greg Kite, thinking big, said he would like to be NBA Commissioner.
But the zaniest answer came from Jeff Turner. His choice? Bullpen catcher in the big leagues.
"They have the greatest jobs in the world," said Turner. "They drink beer all night, and then show up at the ballpark to warm up relief pitchers."
SMILE: Guarding Michael Jordan has a tendency to make a player feel like Al Downing - the pitcher who gave up Henry Aaron's 615th career home run. You get in the books, but for all the wrong reasons. Minnesota rookie Felton Spencer said it best: "You don't hesitate with Michael or you'll be on some poster in a gift shop someplace."
MULTIPLE CHOICE: It appears the Ty-sman Heisman Hype even reached the Southeast. At the end of the Magic-Jazz game last week, an Orlando TV announcer turned in his list of post-game interview requests, in order of priority. His list went like this: 1. Karl Malone; 2. John Stockton; 3. Jeff Malone; 4. Ty Detmer; 5. Jim McMahon.
MORE MAILMAN FANS: Karl Malone's appeal extends all the way to front offices around the league. In a recent poll of general managers in the NBA (22 of 27), Long Beach, Calif., reporter Roger Phillips asked the question: "If you are choosing a team and can select any starting five you wish, who would you choose?" The composite answer was Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, David Robinson, Charles Barkley and Karl Malone.
OLD FRIENDS: The Jazz saw a familiar face last week on their trip east, when several members of the entourage talked with former teammate Ray Brown.
Brown skipped the summer league in favor of accepting a contract in Europe. But several weeks ago he broke his arm. He was back home in Atlanta for the holidays, and with his arm healed now, plans to return to Europe shortly.
SO THERE!: Phoenix Coach Cotton Fitzsimmons on the trade that brought Xavier McDaniel to the Valley of the Sun: "I know a lot of teams in the West didn't appreciate it, but I didn't appreciate it when the Lakers got (Terry) Teagle and (Sam) Perkins. I didn't appreciate it when the Jazz got Jeff Malone. I didn't appreciate it when the Spurs got Paul Pressey and Portland got Danny Ainge."
CULTURED: New Jersey forward Chris Morris upon hearing teammate Rick Carlisle playing the piano in a Los Angeles hotel: "Play some Picasso."
LAST WORD: Mavericks' Coach Richie Adubato on his team's injury problems: "I love A Christmas Carol. I've seen it 50 times. This year, when I see Tiny Tim on crutches, it will remind me of my team."
This column includes some materials gathered from other news sources.