I was thinking how some of the prominent TV commercials could be improved if they were interchanged.

I hear the one all the time for Charter Canyon Hospital that says, "If you don't get help from Charter, get help somewhere!"Mr. Mac, on the other hand, says "No one sells the way we do, no one buys the way we do - No one!"

Wouldn't it inject some variety and improve the approach a little if Mr. Mac changed its ad to: "If you don't get a suit from Mr. Mac - get a suit somewhere!"

And Charter could say, "No one treats the way we do, no one cures the way we do, no one charges the way we do - No one!"

The prize for the most stomach-churning ad is the one from John Morell hot dogs - "The great taste stands alone."

In a close-up you see a hand applying relishes and mustard and ketchup to a humongous hot dog. Then all those preparations are magically removed and the bare hot dog is removed from the bun and some poor soul eats it.

Aren't hot dogs tough enough to take without removing all the relish?


It's enough to send you running to Wendy's for the "best tasting chicken filet sandwich EVER!

Finally, when are we going to stop hearing about exciting new cars with "anti-lock brakes"? My favorite thing. If I only knew what they were.

---Leonard Arrington recently told a great J. Golden Kimball story that I had never heard.

Kimball was speaking to a group of BYU parents, trying to calm their concerns about the secular knowledge their children were picking up.

He said that no one should worry about whether graduating students would be adversely affected by what they were learning.

"You see - most of the students in every class don't listen anyway, and of those who do listen - most do not understand. And of those who do understand, most will forget. And of those who do not forget, most will not agree. And of those who do agree, most will change their minds!"

Now there is a quotation that makes you think twice about higher education!

--- When President Bush announced Lamar Alexander was his choice to be the new secretary of Education, I was listening on my car radio.

The president made some kind comments about Alexander and his record as governor of Tennessee, then he turned some time over to the secretary-designate, who made a brief response.

Afterward, Bush took the podium again and added a warm welcome to Mrs. Alexander.

There was a pause, then Bush said, "It's good to have you here, Honey."

I was so shocked I almost ran off the road.

Could the president really be so chauvinistic in this modern era that he used such a term to address another man's wife?

When I got to the newspaper, I was reading some wire service reports on the Alexander appointment and was immediately relieved to read that Lamar Alexander's wife's name is Honey Alexander!

Sorry I misjudged you, Mr. President!

--- With the advent of colder weather, it's time to try to determine whether there is one legitimate, verifiable difference between the sexes that has thus far eluded us - namely that women need electric blankets more than men.

Do the systems of all women mysteriously shut down in cold weather, causing cold feet and cold noses?

Do all women have difficulty going to sleep unless they have either a mountain of covers or an electric blanket? I have not yet met a woman who would not admit to this problem.

And finally, is it true that the reputation of electric blankets is now as sullied as that of nuclear testing? If I have been sleeping with an electric blanket for 20 years, will I eventually die of the radiation?

Don't write in. As long as I'm warm, I would rather not know.