The hour is late, I know. Your elves have spent weeks carefully packing your sleigh full of gifts for tonight's journey around the world. I hate to meddle with all those careful preparations, but I have just a couple of gift suggestions for a few people here in Utah Valley.Santa, consider leaving a steel-plated suit of armor under Congressman-elect Bill Orton's tree. Orton joins Congress in January, and if he is indeed the conservative he claims to be, he's going to need all the heavy-duty protection he can get in order to survive.
Victor Borcherds, owner of the Seven Peaks Resort in Provo, needs a miracle this Christmas. There are just seven days left for him to come up with a source of funding for his proposed ski resort or the Uinta National Forest Service will close the doors on the project, and frankly, Santa, it's not looking good.
On the other hand, if Jim Harris, the professor at Utah Valley Community College who is opposed to the ski resort, has been a better boy than Borcherds in your book this year, I suggest you leave the miracle back at the North Pole.
Political consultant Steve Studdert could use a copy of the "Campaign Ads Primer."
Provo Mayor Joe Jenkins needs a 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle that, when put together, reveals a way to do a redevelopment project across the street from East Bay Business Park in south Provo with the support of property owners.
Please bring Alpine Mayor Elaine Barnes a "Mayberry R.F.D." play set.
Santa, I think Joe Cannon would like a one-way airplane ticket to Australia with Sam Rushforth's name on it. Bring Sam a one-way airplane ticket to Iceland with Joe's name on it.
For Utah Valley Community College President Kerry Romesberg: a certificate good for a full year's leave from positions on boards and committees. Ditto for Utah County United Way Director Bill Hulterstrom.
Orem Mayor Blaine Willes would like a box full of businesses willing to locate in Orem that don't demand tax increment help.
Pleasant Grove Mayor David Holdaway wants a freeway exit in his city - any size will do.
Utah County Sheriff Dave Bateman wants a jail. That's a pretty big order; but a set of Lincoln Logs will do just fine, I think.
And last but not least, how about a place to park in downtown Provo without fear of being ticketed for your fans in the Utah County Bureau of the Deseret News.
Thanks, Santa. I'll leave a plate of cookies for you and some radishes for the reindeer near the tree.