DEAR ABBY: This concerns "Closed Chapter," who wants to close the book on her past. I know what she went through because 32 years ago, when I was 16, I also had a child out of wedlock and gave him up because I wanted him to have a better life than I could provide.
I beg "Closed Chapter" to at least contact the adoption agency and give them her medical history. She need not disclose her present whereabouts, but she should give them some information about her family and the family of her child's natural father.Abby, four months ago, I located my son living in another city. I wasn't sure he would want to see me, so I had him contacted through a third party. He telephoned me immediately, and when he said, "Hello, Mother," I couldn't hold back the tears.
He asked how soon we could meet, and did I want to come to him or should he come to me? I decided to go to him. Abby, he's tall, handsome and well-mannered. He is married to a beautiful woman and they have a lovely daughter.
Last month, he flew here to meet my husband and his half-brothers and sisters, and they all got along beautifully.
I realize that not all reunions turn out as well as mine did, but the point I want to make is this: There should be no secrets. Adopted children should have the chance to meet their birth parents if they so choose. - ONE OF THE LUCKY ONES
DEAR LUCKY: I agree, adopted children should have the chance to meet their biological parents if they wish to, but I wonder how many people are aware that adopted children and biological parents can register with International Soundex Reunion Registry, P.O. Box 2312, Carson City, NV 89702. The children must be of legal age (legal age varies from state to state).
If both parties are registered and want to find each other, a match is made. Interested parties must send a long, stamped, self-addressed envelope to the above address to request Soundex forms. There is no charge.
DEAR ABBY: Our son, age 32, is marrying a woman who is 23. It's his second marriage and her first, and I know she's planning a big church wedding.
We are reluctant to send invitations to our friends and relatives who attended our son's first wedding and sent lovely gifts. Would it be proper to enclose a little note with the invitations to those who have already given him one wedding gift saying that no gift is expected? - PONDERING PARENTS
DEAR PARENTS: Please resist enclosing a little note with the wedding invitations. Consider the bride. It's her first wedding, and she shouldn't be deprived of gifts because it's her husband's second trip to the altar.