President Bush was given a 62-pound Thanksgiving turkey recently, which he said he'd send to a zoo. If we're ever in trouble, we want that bird's lawyer.

- The government says turkeys are plentiful this fall. No jokes, please, about how this will come as no surprise to the electorate.- McDonald's says it's test-marketing a low-fat hamburger. Sounds like there's a whole new career possibility: aerobic instructor for beef cattle.

- Look at it this way: If "Rocky IV" didn't prevent the making of "Rocky V," what makes you think "Rocky V" will stop an eventual "Rocky VI"?

- Bill Tammeus, Kansas City Star