DEAR ABBY: I've been seeing Philip not his real name - for seven months. We get along famously most of the time, despite our age difference. Philip is 34 and twice divorced, and I am 20 and never married. We had both agreed to see other people if we wanted to, and it was going well until now.
Philip has been sleeping with other women, and I just can't handle it any longer. I told him how I felt about it, and he said he will not commit to just one person - me or anyone else - even though he loves me.Abby, the thought of him sleeping with somebody else makes me hysterical! My friends tell me it's too early to expect an exclusive commitment from Philip. He says he will never marry again, but I think I can get him to change his mind.
I don't know if I should hang in there for a little while longer or break up with him. I love him with all my heart, but I'm afraid my love may be blinding me to the realities of this situation. Please advise me. - IN LOVE IN OMAHA
DEAR IN LOVE: Run as though your life depended upon it - because it does. Any person (male or female) who is having sex with a partner who is not monogamous is at risk for a sexually transmitted disease (AIDS included). You did not mention whether Philip practiced safe sex. But even if he does, no protection is 100 percent safe.
DEAR ABBY: Recently, my daughter and son-in-law announced they were going to be parents. They were both thrilled. Then a few weeks later, my daughter had a miscarriage and had to have a D and C. After the surgery, my daughter spent two days with me, and while she was here, she received flowers and cards addressed to both her and her husband.
After returning home, she called to thank me and my family for having included her husband's name on the cards. She said it meant a great deal to him because, after all, he would have been the father, and he also suffered the loss of the baby. He had told her that many people had telephoned him at his home asking how his wife was and telling him how sorry they were about her loss - but no one mentioned his loss.
My purpose in writing is to remind people that when a woman loses a baby, the would-be father also mourns the loss. - HIS LOVING MOTHER-IN-LAW
DEAR M-I-L: Thanks for the sensitive and compassionate reminder.
CONFIDENTIAL TO GETTING DESPERATE IN PHILADELPHIA: So you're 34, still single, and getting desperate? Hold it, dear, because your list of "prospective spouses" is pretty sad.
A charming guy who dances like a dream but swings both ways.
A married man who will gladly divorce his wife, if you will agree to pay for it.
A man who is old enough to be your father but wants you to sign a prenuptial agreement that will entitle you to nothing should he die first.
Stay single, young lady. Better to be a MISS Somebody than a MRS. Nobody.
Abby's family recipes are included in her cookbooklet. Send a long, business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada), to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054. (Postage is included.)