Mr. Spud got a surprising call last week. A representative of Electronic Media magazine wanted him to participate in a survey of what television critics think are the best and worst shows on television.

After recovering from his surprise (What? Someone cares what I think?), Mr. Spud sat down with pencil, paper and a television schedule to determine which shows deserved to be on which list. The "best" list wasn't easy - there are a number of fine shows that deserve recognition.And the "worst" list was darn near impossible - there are so many atrocities it was a real chore to narrow them down to five.

For what it's worth, and assuming that one or two other people care what he thinks, here's the first-annual Mr. Spud Poll of Television's Best and Worst Programs:


1. "Murphy Brown"

2. "Designing Women"

3. "L.A. Law"

4. "thirtysomething"

5. "The Simpsons"

6. "The Wonder Years"

7. "Star Trek: The Next Generation"

8. "Twin Peaks"

9. "Cheers"

10. "Parenthood"

Others receiving consideration: "Doctor, Doctor," "Doogie Howser, M.D.," "Knots Landing," "Law & Order," "Life Goes On," "Lifestories," "60 Minutes," "The Trials of Rosie O'Neill," and "Quantum Leap."


1. "America's Funniest People"

2. "Good Grief"

3. "Uncle Buck"

4. "Ferris Bueller"

5. "Cop Rock"

Others receiving consideration: "America's Funniest Home Videos," "Different World," "D.E.A.," "Going Places," "Haywire," "Hull High," "Parker Lewis," "Totally Hidden Video," and "Unsolved Mysteries." ---

BORING: Alan Caruba, the founder of the The Boring Institute, is no big fan of television.

In fact, the man who publishes the annual list of the most boring celebrities and boring movies believes that TV rots your brain, leads to drug and alcohol addiction, encourages divorce and speeds society's demise, according to the Associated Press.

In keeping with that way of thinking, Caruba has come out with his annual "Fearless Forecasts of TV's Fall Flops." And here they are:

"Cop Rock," "Beverly Hills, 90210," "D.E.A.," "E.A.R.T.H. Force," "Family Man," "The Fanelli Boys," "Ferris Bueller," "Going Places," "Hull High," "Lifestories," "Parenthood," "Parker Lewis Can't Lose," "Sons and Daughters" and "Uncle Buck."

So far, Caruba's predictions look pretty good. "E.A.R.T.H. Force" has already been canceled, "Sons and Daughters" was pulled from the schedule before it premiered, and the other shows' performances in the ratings range from poor to disastrous.


WEDDING BELLS: That "Full House" is going to get a little bit fuller next month - the word is that Jesse (John Stamos) and Rebecca (Lori Laughlin) will wed.

November, of course, is like June on TV. It's a sweeps month, and weddings tend to boost a show's ratings.

But we're sure the two characters really love each other . . .