DEAR ABBY: I am a single woman with a male friend who is obsessed with me. I have been dating him for more than five years. Abby, this man is totally crazy in love with me, but for me there is no "spark" at all. He's kind, considerate and very generous. I have told him many times that I like him as a friend, but he won't accept it. He's hoping that in time it will blossom into love. Believe me, it never will.

Since I have been seeing so much of him, my social life is the pits; everyone thinks it's a love affair, and it's not.Some of my friends have suggested that this could be a "fatal attraction" situation. I want to end this friendship, but I don't know how to handle it. Your advice, please. - NOT ATTRACTED

DEAR NOT ATTRACTED: This man is trying to wear you down with his persistence. He has nothing to lose and everything to gain by taking up as much of your time as you will give him.

Stop dating him; tell him you love him "like a brother," but he deserves someone who can love him like a lover.

Don't you have any friends you can fix him up with? One woman's leftovers can be another woman's banquet.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been happily married for 28 years, but his behavior these past few months has me worried. He goes outside in the mornings to turn on the lawn sprinkler wearing only his boxer shorts. We live on a corner where he is visible from two angles.

Daily, after he comes out of our sauna, he wraps a towel around his middle, then sits on the patio to cool off in full view of our neighbors. Last week, I was appalled when I came home from work to find him preparing supper with only a T-shirt on!

Tonight, I discovered him barbecuing in a long shirt. Abby, he had to walk up several stairs to come back into the house. I am totally disgusted with this kind of behavior and want your opinion of this 49-year-old man. - BAFFLED IN VANCOUVER

DEAR BAFFLED: Your husband could be careless, thoughtless or just plain unconcerned about what the neighbors might see or think.

But if you suspect that his behavior has suddenly become exhibitionistic and totally out of character with his normal personality, I urge that you persuade him to see his physician for a complete examination from the neck both ways.

DEAR ABBY: Lately, you have had some letters in your column about rape. I have a suggestion that would put an end to the rape problem. We should pass a law making castration the punishment for rape! Then, and only then, could we make sure that the rapist would never rape again. - SICK OF RAPISTS

DEAR SICK: I would be opposed to such a law. Assume that a man was convicted of rape, was found guilty and was subsequently castrated. Then it was discovered that it had been a case of mistaken identity, and the "rapist" was innocent. Than what? Would the law say, "Oops! Sorry"?

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