Mr. Bush goes to dinner:

"Ah, Mr. President, what a pleasant surprise!""Thanks, Tony - it's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Not to worry - I know how hard you've been working lately. I was saying to the boys just this afternoon, `Our president's got so many decisions to make, it's a wonder he ever gets out of the office.' "

"All part of the job, Tony. All part of the job."

"That's exactly what I was telling the boys. So: Do you want to see a menu?"

"No need - I know exactly what I want. Let me have your Salisbury steak, medium, a side of fries and a ginger ale."

"Very good, sir. You get two vegetables with the Salisbury steak - it's our special tonight."

"Two vegetables?"

"That's right. We've got green beans, Brussels sprouts, spinach and coleslaw."

"Let's see now: I'll have the green beans and the spinach."

"The green beans and the spinach. Very goo - "

"No, wait a minute - make that the green beans and the Brussels sprouts. I've always liked Brussels sprouts."

"The Brussels sprouts it is. Now, what kind of dressing on the salad?"

"I get salad, too?"

"Part of the special."

"Boy, I don't know - French, I guess. Do you have any diet? I'm trying to watch what I eat."

"Diet French - certainly."

"And could you make the Salisbury steak rare instead of medium?"

"You've got it. Let me send the order in."

"Great . . . Tony?"

"Right there, Mr. President . . . What else can I do for you?"

"Can you make it Italian dressing instead of French?"

"That's on the table, Mr. President."

"So it is - thanks. Oh, and Tony?"


"I think I'd rather have the Brussels sprouts and the spinach."

"Fine - let me try to catch that."

"Thanks . . . Tony?"

"Right with you . . . Yes?"

"Those senators at that table over there haven't touched a bite of their Salisbury steak."


"So if they don't like it, I'm sure I won't like it either. Cancel the Salisbury steak."


"And give me the veal cutlet."

"One veal cutlet. I'll go tell - "

"Or maybe I should have the Salisbury steak after all. Can you make it well-done?"

"If that's what you want. Which is it then, the Salisbury steak or the cutlet?"

"Boy, that's a hard one. I love Salisbury steak, but I love cutlets, too. What if I have your combination plate? That'd be a good compromise, wouldn't it?"

"One `Turf 'n' Turf' - you bet. Let me send it in before they - "

"Here, I've got it now: Why don't you cancel the whole order and bring me a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"Sorry, Mr. President - the kitchen just closed."