Dear Abby: A 25-year-old woman wrote to say the she and her live-in boyfriend were expecting a baby soon, and although it wasn't planned they were happy about it. Her problem: Her parents were pressuring her to get married before the baby arrives. She said she and her boyfriend both had failed marriages and didn't want to rush into marriage again although they were sure of their love - and she didn't think a baby on the way was a good enough reason to get married.
You said it was. Some readers wrote to say, "You're old-fashioned, Abby. Get real - this is the '90s; it's no disgrace to be a single parent!"You stuck to your guns, saying, "If they're going to try to make thie marriage work, they'll probably try harder if they have a legal as well as a moral commitment," and asked, "Isn't anybody on my side?"
Well, Abby, I took a survey at work; we have 29 people working in this office - 17 women and 12 men - and every one of them was on your side!.
ON YOUR SIDE IN ROCHESTER, N.Y.>
Dear On: Since that letter ran, I have been inundated with letters from people wanting me to know that they, too, are on my side. I've heard from every state in the union, all the provinces of Canada, plus Guam and the Philippines.
How reassuring to know that countless thousands of people spent the time (and postage) to let me know that the holy sacrament of marriage is still respected, and that while having a child out of wedlock is not the end of the world, neither is it the most desirable of circumstances.
So, it's not true that our morals have gone to the dogs. I'm now up to my neck in letters from readers of all ages - the youngest a 9-year-old girl from Greenville, N.C., and the oldest a 98-year-old man from Windsor, Vt. - all saying, "Don't back down, Abby - we're on your side!"
Hallelujah and praise the Lord!
Dear Abby: I went for a job interview the other day. I didn't wear jeans; I was nicely dressed - nothing flashy. I was well-groomed and wore very little makeup.
I answered all the questions directly and with confidence. I wasn't nervous at all and had excellent references. When the interview was over, I was sure I would get the job. Well, four days later, I was notified that another applican had been hired.
Abby, I would like to go back to the man who intervied me and ask him why I didn't get the job. Was someone else more qualified, or what? Was there something negative or obnoxious about me? What could I have don differently - or better? I still can't believe I didn't qualify. What should I do? - LOST OUT IN KANSAS
Dear Lost Out: First, consider yourself fortunate to have been notified that you didn't get the job. Many people are interviewed for jobs and unless they get the job, they're left wondering.
It's commendable that you want to learn from your mistakes - if you made any during the interview. But do not return o question the person who interviewed you unless you arrange for an appointment first.
Write a brief, courteous note, thanking him for the interview, then ask if he would kindly see you again or write a note suggesting how you can improve you chances. And it might not be a bad idea to enclose a small picture of yourself and a self-addressed, stamped envelope.