A new 900 telephone line offers the latest in lawyer jokes told by a lawyer turned comedian and part of the money generated is being donated to the homeless.

"We figured everyone loves to hate lawyers," said lawyer Gary LaFever. The calls cost $2 for the first minute and $1 for every minute thereafter .The voice on The Lawyer Joke Line (1-900-420-9675) belongs to Bob Battle, a former Fairfax assistant commonwealth's attorney.

Recent jokes include:

- Why does New Jersey have so many toxic waste dumps and Washington, D.C., so many lawyers? New Jersey had first choice.

- A Hindu, a rabbi and a lawyer are traveling together and stop at a farmhouse to spend the night. With only two beds inside, the farmer asks one to spend the night in the barn, and the Hindu promptly agrees.

The Hindu comes back in five minutes, says he can't spend the night because there are sacred cows in the barn. The rabbi volunteers, but comes back in five minutes and says he can't spend the night with pigs.

The lawyer then goes out, and five minutes later the pigs and cows are at the door.

- Four friends - an accountant, a lawyer, a minister and a doctor - are discussing life after death. The accountant, who believes you need cash to buy your way into heaven, dies suddenly and the three friends head to the funeral home.

The doctor walks to the casket, says he wants to follow the accountant's wishes and puts $100 on his chest. The minister, saying it's against his religion but he also wants to follow the accountant's wishes, puts another $100 on his chest. The lawyer walks forward, writes a check for $300 and pockets the change.