DEAR ABBY: I am appalled at the attitude of "73 and Resigned" who lamented about having no grandsons to carry on the family name. Don't his three granddaughters count for something? They are descendants of the same Hudson River fur trader as he is, and they should be just as proud to have that heritage. The family surname may eventually become a maiden name for them, but that doesn't change their ancestry. It will always be there, and those granddaughters will be able to pass it onto another generation, no matter what surname is attached.
The roots of George Bush and Franklin Delano Roosevelt can be traced back to John Tilley, who came over on the Mayflower, and yet those presidents do not carry the Tilley name. Many people can detail their lineage back to the other Mayflower passengers and Revolutionary War soldiers, too, without currently having the same surnames as those colonial Americans did. The difference in names certainly does not negate the relationship - it just means that some female lines are involved. I hope "73" is not such a chauvinist that he would want to ignore those relatives, past or present, simply because they're female.My advice to "73" is to have him talk with his granddaughters and to share the whole family history with them as soon as possible. Years from now, those girls won't have to wonder about their heritage and say, "Gee, I should have asked Grandpa about that. He would have known." - PENNSYLVANIA GENEALOGIST
DEAR GENEALOGIST: You weren't the only one who was "appalled" by the attitude of "73 and Resigned." Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Several years ago, I lost my one and only brother in a tragic accident. My father's comment: "Now there is no one to carry on the family name."
Then I got to thinking, "What am I, chopped liver?" Had I been the one to die, it wouldn't have been such a big tragedy; after all, I was only a female.
I hope "73 and Resigned" doesn't close the book on the family tree just because there are no grandsons. There are spaces to be filled in for granddaughters, great-granddaughters and great-great-granddaughters. Perhaps if he tried, his daughter's line could be traced back to Eve! - MY FATHER'S DAUGHTER
DEAR ABBY: I have a sister who taught at the local high school until she was found guilty of fornication with some of the students. She lost her teaching credentials, her husband left her, and she moved in with a man she just met. Now she's announced that she's going to marry him in December.
Abby, Jesus states plainly in Matthew 5:32 and again in Matthew 19:9 that remarriage under these circumstances would be considered adultery. My sister claims to be a good Christian, but her conduct shows otherwise. I realize that sins can be forgiven if the sinner repents and prays (Acts 8:22), but true repentance would require that she first get out of her adulterous marriage. I have asked her to read the Scriptures to see if they apply to her situation, but she refused and accused me of judging and condemning her.
Should I persist in trying to teach her the truth? Or should I butt out and leave her to wallow in her sins?
Also, should I attend her wedding? If I did, I would feel obligated to do my Christian duty and voice my objections to this adulterous marriage before man and God.
I love my sister and want her to have a chance at heaven. - HER LOVING BROTHER
DEAR LOVING BROTHER: God knows you have done your part to try to save your sister. If you truly love her and would feel obligated to voice your objections to her marriage publicly, please do not attend her wedding.
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