Quantcast

Comments about ‘LDS Church releases video about overcoming pornography addictions’

Return to article »

Published: Wednesday, Aug. 27 2014 2:50 p.m. MDT

Updated: Wednesday, Aug. 27 2014 7:59 p.m. MDT

Comments
  • Oldest first
  • Newest first
  • Most recommended
RedWings
CLEARFIELD, UT

FatherofFour: "The church membership must seriously have a real problem here for it to be addressed so much."

LDS kids don't grow up with a liquor cabinet in the house, so alcoholism is not a big an issue for the church as porn. It exists, but is not the number one problem.

Another Perspective: "A man with a cold aloof wife is tempted to look elsewhere."

True enough for the adulterer, but for us porn addicts this is largely not the case. Porn addiciton is not about sex. As with any addiction, it is a symptom of "other causes and conditions" (see he AA Big Book).

My experience is that the "drug" eases the pain of my character defects and my separation from God. When I truthfully looked at my defects and worked on them, porn lost its power over me.

Great comments and discussion on this board! It is great to see this epidemic be brought out into the light so society can understand and address it....

USAlover
Salt Lake City, UT

Brain,

You're an inspiration. I'm curious as a Church Leader to know what really constitutes a "porn addiction". In your 12-step program, were the people there using porn "daily", "weekly", "monthly", a "couple times a year", "Once!". What would you say?

Thanks, and again, your story is inspirational.

Kaotic
USA, UT

@ FatherOfFour,

You are so right about "there must be a problem here", even in the small communities of Utah. Porn addiction is a very big problem among the membership in Utah and it is getting worse, just like drug addiction and alcoholism. I see most of the commenters relating porn addiction to men, but I can certainly can tell you that more and more women have a porn addiction for whatever reasons. What is more astonishing is the adultery among married women in Utah. There are certainly some underlying reasons, but you can only hide behind the church for so long and then everybody knows. There are a lot of "everybody knows" in this small community.

1978
Salt Lake City, UT

@FatherOfFour

The problem exists everywhere. To assume it is a bigger problem here because it is talked about more by LDS church leaders is an invalid conclusion. I know of people not of the LDS faith who are addicted to porn who don't view it as that big of a deal.

I had a former work associate and friend that just died from alcholism who was also addicted to tobacco and porn. His attitude was "It is my life and I can do whatever I want!" He eventually lost his marriage and job before he died. The sad thing was that he was very good at his job and was fun to be around before his life spiralled out of control.

skrekk
Dane, WI

It seems like these irrational worries about pornography are common to many patriarchal and misogynistic religions.

happy2bhere
clearfield, UT

FatherOfFour

Many have already responded to your point. I would only echo others in saying that in general, society sees no harm in pornography. Neither do they see problems with drugs, alcohol, tobacco, promiscuous sex or adultery. At least not to the point that the LDS Church teaches, which is total abstinance from all of those things. The reason being that human weakness can easily addict anyone who endulges a "little", only to find themselves becomming enslaved to their worldly passions, as some here have alluded to. The LDS Church does see life ruining problems with those activities and as such you will see and hear much from the leaders about helping people avoid those landmines of life. Or in other words, rather than warn people about falling off of a cliff, tell them it's much safer and easier to not go near the edge in the first place.

RedWings
CLEARFIELD, UT

@ skrekk -

The devastation of porn has nothing to do with religion. The entire time I was involved with my addiction I was completely away from any religion.

Tell the wife whose husmand ignores her but spends all night staring at porn on the computer screen and treats her lika n object to be used as he wishes that her fears are irrational.

Tell the kids whose dad does not interact with them in any meaningful way that their fears are irrational.

There is not one thing about porn that is positive or contributes to the benefit of society. Not one thing....

skrekk
Dane, WI

@RedWings says: "The devastation of porn has nothing to do with religion. The entire time I was involved with my addiction I was completely away from any religion."

That sounds like a problem with addictive or compulsive behavior which could apply to a wide variety of things. But the LDS church's obsession seems to revolve around things related to sex.

jeanie
orem, UT

Shrekk,
"Irrational worries"? "Obsession"? Hummm. I think you need to chat with family members who have suffered because of a loved ones addiction to porn. Maybe let's start with the boy I know who's father chose his porn over his family. That doesn't affect a young man? He was in college and still carried the scars of abandonment. Think of all the pain you are aware of due to drug or alcohol addiction. It's no different than the ripple effects of porn addiction. Fantastic that the LDS church would take this on!!

FelisConcolor
North Salt Lake, UT

Father of Four:

I think what you are seeing reflected in this article is a unique view of what constitutes an "addiction".

In LDS culture, a man who views pornography more than once every few months -- or even at all -- would be viewed as a "porn addict". Elsewhere in the United States, his "habit" would be considered unremarkable or even normal.

I doubt there are as many LDS persons who are truly addicted to porn -- as in, their porn viewing causes damage to their marriage and adversely interferes with their daily lives -- as this article makes it appear.

FelisConcolor
North Salt Lake, UT

Kaotic

Women have always been big consumers of pornography in the form of "bodice rippers" and other romance novels. They are far less visual and more verbal and descriptive, and thus aren't automatically considered to be as "obscene" or "explicit" as XXX videos or photos. The novel "50 Shades of Grey" has achieved a level of respectability and mainstream acceptance that porn studios which cater to male audiences can only dream about.

Which brings up another point: Much of the revulsion towards pornography in society is just man-bashing in disguise. Internet pornography provides an easy sexual outlet for men and thus undermines the status of women as the gatekeepers of sexual fulfillment in marriage. For a frumpy, slightly overweight 30-something mother of three, the availability of pornography on the internet is just as threatening to her as having a sexy single woman who mows the lawn in her bikini move in next door. She has to "raise her game" to keep her man's attention, and many married women simply don't want to be bothered.

brainoncapitalist
Orem, UT

@USALover: I think you have an addiction if you simply can't stop using whatever it is you are addicted to. The frequency isn't as important as the inability to stop. When I finally hit rock bottom, I was to the point where I would act out every day, sometimes multiple times per day, whenever I had the opportunity. It's a progressive problem and what might start out rather innocently as a curiosity can quickly turn into a lifelong addiction that continues to get worse and worse. People who say there's no such thing as porn addiction have no idea what they are talking about (either that or they are in denial about their own addiction).

marxist
Salt Lake City, UT

I have not seen this film, but I find it interesting that this blog does not discuss the matter of sexual abuse in intimate relationships, including marriage. Any sex act in marriage forced on one party by the other is rape - and it is common.

Does porn lead to sexual assault? It may, but if so it would seem to me this would be a major theme of those opposed to porn.

As to sexual assault in general. Most victims are women. For them sexual assault itself is a much bigger deal than porn per se. But we LDS are pretty quiet about sexual assault while we attack porn.

So, my question, is a major factor in sexual assault, pornography?

marxist
Salt Lake City, UT

I watched the video. There was no reference to intimate partner sexual assault.

Does pornography contribute to intimate partner sexual assault? It might by objectifying women's bodies. There is a lot of sexual assault in marriages.

Perhaps a subsequent video could explore this connection. Sexual assault in intimate relationships is a major problem.

Fullypresent
Salt Lake City, UT

It would help if they were all taught about healthy sexuality and healthy relationships from the beginning instead of being shamed about so many things. All the shaming, guilt tripping and lack of open, healthy discussion about sexuality and intimacy do not help them have healthy relationships. I have met some people along the way that struggled with this kind of addiction and the above seemed to be a common theme in their lives and families.

michael.jensen369
Lethbridge, 00

@jeanie
" I think you need to chat with family members who have suffered because of a loved ones addiction to porn. Maybe let's start with the boy I know who's father chose his porn over his family. That doesn't affect a young man? He was in college and still carried the scars of abandonment."

You're describing my life right there.

Bill McGee
Alpine, UT

While the challenge is real, we need to be more accurate. According to the new DSM, you cannot be addicted to porn. It does not meet the standards for addiction, including self-destruction. Pornography can be compulsive, but not an addiction. That is an important distinction, the most critical of which is that the treatments are different. The first step to getting better is to understand what you are really dealing with, and not what the pop psychologists and non-professionals are claiming.

sthomaslewis
Corvallis, OR

I would appreciate it if the Church would also fight against tyranny as much as it does against pornography. Tyrannical governments have caused more deaths than pornography.

SLC345
SLC, UT

The AMA has never issued any statements stating the pornography is an addiction. It is the therapists that keep the pornography addiction alive to fuel their incomes. This is a huge excuse the church has allowed to grow to handle the large amount of Utah LDS people looking at pornography. Someone stated that pornography is everywhere. No so, Utah is known for the high level of pornography use by internet statistics. Utah use is over the top and rather than dealing with it head on the church calls it an addiction. Sorry, it may work for them but no one else believes the hype and spin the church places on this problem. You are right it is an indication of much larger issues and until the church confronts those issues we will have LDS people taking in hushed tones about this poor person that is addicted. It is time for the church to get real and confront the underlying issues.

happymom123
Clearfield, UT

It is an unfair to make comment that the Relief Society should go out of their way to emphasize the importance of intimacy. It is the responsibility to come together as a righteous couple to take care of each other in a manner that is conducive to our Heavenly Father's gospel teachings. President Kimball has a wonderful talk titled "Oneness" He talks about the importance of how intimacy helps tie a marriage together whether spiritually or temporal. Intimacy should not ever be used as a tool to justify that satisfaction of being abusive when it comes to love. It is meant to be a sacred bond between a husband and a wife who honor, respect, and are compassionate, righteous, towards each other. When intimacy becomes the number one thing above another else and I mean anything else, it has become an abusive tool against the other spouse. I know this to be true, because my second marriage failed because it was used against me. To the point that I would receive almost daily lectures on it. In fact well written articles by church authorities were twisted and use against me. Read the article "Oneness"

to comment

DeseretNews.com encourages a civil dialogue among its readers. We welcome your thoughtful comments.
About comments