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Comments about ‘LDS Church releases video about overcoming pornography addictions’

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Published: Wednesday, Aug. 27 2014 2:50 p.m. MDT

Updated: Wednesday, Aug. 27 2014 7:59 p.m. MDT

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brainoncapitalist
Orem, UT

I have struggled with a pornography/sex/lust addiction for over 25 years. Over the years I tried everything from praying more, reading the scriptures more, reading self-help books, going to therapists, along with numerous confessions to my local bishop. Nothing helped me for very long. I didn't realize at the time that I was doing what is known as 'white-knuckling' and that that method usually never works for very long. Understandably (at least in my mind), I had given up and it wasn't until I found the Church's ARP program that I started to experience real recovery. I now have 270 days of true sobriety and I understand how to access the atonement in my life. I have no doubts that if I strive to daily practice the principles I've learned from this program, and turn my life completely over to the Lord, that I will continue to experience the peace and joy of being free from this addiction. The Lord's yoke truly is easy and His burden is light!

Kelliebelle66
West Jordan, UT

I had a teenage son watch this video. I wanted him to see what might not seem destructive to him as a teenager really is destructive and how it can effect one's life in a serious way. It can destroy the family. The people telling their story were extremely brave in doing so. My husband and I have worked really hard to teach our children not to view things on the internet and we had protected all of our computers as well. One thing we forgot, the cell phone. Luckily the lines of communication between us and our children are open and our son came to us about this issue. People don't realize, especially kids, how things can turn into a serious addiction regardless of one's religious beliefs and it can have an effect on a person's ability to have normal sexual relationships. Thankfully, as this video depicts, we have the atonement and healing power of the savior to overcome these addictions and problems. When I was a kid things that were not easily available are a keystroke away and anybody can see them. Parents, be vigilant and talk to your kids.

Hamath
Omaha, NE

@ Brain, You go! Great job!

jeanie
orem, UT

Thank you, thank you to this couple for bravely sharing their story.

If, in spite of vigilant parenting and open communication, your child should stumble into porn addiction, do not blame yourself. Get help. Hang in there. It's a tough ride, but like the video says - there is hope and healing.

Brainoncapitalist, fantastic!

JWB
Kaysville, UT

The sad thing is people don't have to go looking for these insidious things, they come to them when filters don't work and the deceitful people that lure innocent people into their lairs. Entrapment is easy when children get involved at their neighbors or friends house when parents are cautious or are cautious but know about all the traps and lures out there. Television and the Internet but some of the social media trap also. All these forms of media can bring the light and knowledge to the world but in a wink can bring misery and despair for years to come. Having worked with the substance and abuse and anti-violence groups in the state for almost 10 years, drugs and pornography cause similar problems but can also feed one another and lead to violence in and away from the home.

The Church is responding in so many good ways to help people come out of addiction but the prevention is and has been talked about in conference for many years. The April conference by the Relief Society Counselor was a light to the world and church members. Pornography is not gender specific.

Another Perspective
Bountiful, UT

One way to reduce men's affinity for pornography would be for their wives to be loving and available. A man with a cold aloof wife is tempted to look elsewhere. Why doesn't the relief society as part of their curriculum teach women the importance of being warm, loving and available when they become married?

Kiyo
Washougal, Washington

...I read read Deseret News, China news(Xinhua-English), and Japan today(English language), and have never been ambushed. These sites give a very broad view of current events(the best in my opinion), and are free of charge.

Pops
NORTH SALT LAKE, UT

@Another Perspective

I don't think you understand what causes pornography addiction.

AZRods
Maricopa, AZ

Great comment and best wishes to you Brain. Your description expresses perfectly what doesn't work and the best way to completely submit yourself to the Lord's will, in which you receive so much more strength than you could have by yourself alone.

@-Another, you can't put fault/blame on your wife, much less the RS to justify an affinity for any inappropriate behavior.
If you have a lack of love and warmth in your marriage, you should seek counsel with your Bishop or some other trustworthy source.
You may find out there are things in your behavior that cause your wife to behave the way she does. Just saying, always two side to marital problems.

Heidi T.
Farmington, UT

Blaming and justifying are distortions in our thinking and stand as dangerous components for unhealthy behavior. We must stand with the Savior and keep our lives clean in spite of others' behavior.

I know it. I Live it. I Love it.
Provo, UT

Another Perspective,

My wife should doll herself up more, then I'd stop looking at porn.
My wife should change her attitude, then I'd stop looking at porn.
My wife should simply be a porn star, then it would all be okay!

See the problems here?

If we live our lives as animals, grasping for anything that tempts our fancy, then yes... we may expect that our wives put forth every effort to make themselves more appetizing than the porn offerings. However, we ought to be more than that. Love and lust aren't the same thing. And I added the last two examples just to further illustrate that every time people try to justify any type of change expected of their spouse... the problem is within.

If only people told me what I wanted to hear, then I'd be willing to listen.

Expecting my wife to circumvent my own denial isn't being honest with myself and certainly not fair or reasonable to my wife. Women damage themselves to satisfy that type of reasoning from men.

Another Perspective
Bountiful, UT

To Pops

If you thing a man made hungry by the aloofness of his wife never looks elsewhere you are the one who lacks some understanding.

Another Perspective
Bountiful, UT

To AZ Rods

Your response to me was presumptuous and incorrect.

Lambo
Clearfield, UT

@ another perspective

A wife's availability/warmth toward her husband would help a great deal in reducing propensity toward pornography. I agree it should be emphasized much more to women who would likely find dramatic reduction in their husband's cravings. Imagine for example a starving dog smelling red meat outside the yard. The dog will be suffering with desire. Telling the dog to go against its instincts and just control itself is only part of the solution. The dog owner needs to understand the cruelty of starving a dog/rarely providing the dog high-quality food. Women cannot expect sexually starved men to not be dying with temptation and likely to cave to the mounting pressure that is now sadly so easily accessible. When a man gets rejected by his wife, the temptation skyrockets. Caving to that temptation is wrong no matter the circumstances, but it is also foolish/cruel to starve a man to the point where he is so vulnerable to extreme temptation. God taught that with the temptation he will provide an escape and that "escape" from temptation regarding pornography can very well be a loving, available, interested spouse.

C-3P0
Saint George, UT

@ Another Perspective is not totally wrong in this matter. Pornography is something all men are tempted by, even if they don't admit it. Some men are just stronger than others when it comes to avoiding it. A lot of the time the issue is a lot deeper, its usually to fill a void in their lives. And sometimes this void is a unhappy marriage, with lack of communication, and lack of intimacy. I agree that women should be taught about why a man is having this struggle and how they can help, instead of just hearing lessons over and over again on how evil pornography is.

jeanie
orem, UT

Another perspective,

Men may look at porn because their wives are cold, but a porn addict is something altogether different. That was Pops point. It doesn't matter if a wife is georgeous and available. If a man is an addict ultimately nothing she offers will be enough. This article is about addiction and the comments speak to that. That there are cold wives is true, but that takes counseling, not a 12 step program.

FatherOfFour
WEST VALLEY CITY, UT

I am not LDS and there are several aspects of the culture that I am not familiar with. But I notice these porn articles in the DN almost every day. The church membership must seriously have a real problem here for it to be addressed so much.

fowersjl
Farmington, Utah

@fatheroffour, the LDS Church is very concerned about the plague of pornography and in helping its members heal from and shun it because of how it destroys families. Outside the church there is not much concern for it, because many people think that looking at pornography is acceptable and normal behavior. Yes, there is a problem in the LDS church, but certainly not more than outside the church. But, who is going to speak against it outside of churches?
I am so glad the LDS Church is working to educate and give hope to those who might otherwise be destroyed by this flood of evil.
@anotherperspective, the most attractive, warm, and loving wife will not satisfy a man addicted to pornography. Why? Because it distorts and damages a brain to the point that there is only lust, not love in that brain.)

brainoncapitalist
Orem, UT

@FatherOfFour: It is a huge problem these days, if the numbers attending 12-step meetings is any indication. And that's just the ones who have decided to get help. There are many, many more who are still hiding it or are in denial about the seriousness of the problem.

I remember when I was single thinking that once I got married, I would be able to control my addiction. Boy was I wrong. In many ways, being married made my addiction stronger. And my wife was always very accommodating. She would take care of me any time I wanted, as often as I wanted, and it was never enough to keep me from acting out. It kills her now to realize that she was hurting herself by taking so much responsibility for keeping me sober. It was MY responsibility, not hers.

BKB
Chantilly/USA, 00

A recent convert to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints told me that one of the appeals the church had for him early in his investigation was that it addressed the pornography problem head-on and didn't ignore it or try to brush it off as a minor problem.
It is a problem worldwide, regardless of religious affiliation. I'm grateful that the church is raising awareness and providing solutions. I'm grateful that the Deseret News also publicizes the problem and makes known solutions.
I'm also concerned about all those suffering from the problem but not seeking help. The Addiction Recovery Program works but can be scary to begin. Some may want to start with a more private program, such as Power Over Pornography, before attending ARP meetings.

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