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Comments about ‘Gay, Christian and … celibate: The changing face of the homosexuality debate’

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Published: Monday, Aug. 4 2014 3:10 p.m. MDT

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Twin Lights
Louisville, KY

I have worlds of respect for those who can keep their covenants in the face of strong tides pulling them another way.

It is not only sexuality. I have heard those who struggle with certain addictions say that their addition was an equal or even a stronger pull for them than sex. Not meant to be a competition - simply an acknowledgement that, in terms of severity of the test, they are not alone.

In the eternities, I believe all of the struggle and sacrifice (of whatever kind) we endure well will be rewarded.

ordinaryfolks
seattle, WA

If this lady, or anyone, chooses to become celibate. So what? It is their choice. I could care less.

If this lady or anyone else chooses to characterize those who happen to be gay, wish to be observant Christians, and marry some of the same sex as sinful. Well, there I have a problem.

There is no unanimity of opinion or spiritual truth on this issue. Let each follow his/her own path, and let the deity decide the matter. Stop the name calling on all sides.

RedWings
CLEARFIELD, UT

Great article. It highlights that there are options for people with SSA, and that ultimately is it the individual's decision.

There are many who have successfully overcome SSA and lead a heterosexual lifestyle. For others, that is not possible. Celibacy never killed anyone, even though our hyper-sexualized society can't conceive of the concept, and there will likely be many posts to this article demonizing it.

We each choose our own way in life. We each need to respect others' decisions, especially if it is not the one we would choose for ourselves....

Owen
Heber City, UT

"John Paulk, ... apologized for the reparative therapy he used to promote. Yvette Schneider ... call(ed) for bans on reparative therapy. ...nine former ex-gay leaders denounced conversion therapy."

Great examples that many institutions could and should follow.

Wonderpus
Salt Lake City, Salt Lake, UT

What about the other option: leave your religion and live a healthy, happy life as a person not afraid of themselve?

Frozen Fractals
Salt Lake City, UT

@RedWings
"It highlights that there are options for people with SSA"

Calibacy's a choice for straight people too but nobody's expecting me to live an entire lifetime celibate.

the greater truth
Bountiful, UT

@Frozen Fractals

That not even the least bit true.

Many straight people are expected to live a celibate lifestyle.

From nuns and monks to catholic priests, to any Mormons who are not married. In fact in most if not all religions you are supposed to live chaste and celibate lifestyle if you do not marry or are not married.

I am sure there are also non-religious who have chosen such a lifestyle.

Does your sex drive control you or do you control your sex drive?

You always have a choice.

Henry Drummond
San Jose, CA

I applaud the Deseret News for publishing this. I've seen the harm these so-called conversion therapies have done to some of my students. Regardless of where you stand on the Gay Marriage issue, its time to join together in opposition to these abusive practices that only damage the lives of people who have enough struggles already.

A Scientist
Provo, UT

Throughout history and around the world there have been many official attempts to convert left-handed children to right-handedness due to cultural, societal and religious biases. In America until corporal punishment was outlawed in schools it was not uncommon for students to be physically punished for writing with their left hands:

"My fourth grade teacher would force me to use my right hand to perform all of my school work. If she caught me using my left hand, I was hit in the head with a dictionary. She believed left handers were connected with Satan."

Beliefs that a preference, orientation, or behavior is "connected with Satan" (and sin) is behind so much oppression, "conversion therapy", and pretending, it is astounding.

Some "sinister" left-handers have learned to use their right hands quite effectively, but most conversions fail and cause other problems. The same us true of those with SSA.

The central question is not whether a few can "convert"; the question is why should they have to even consider it.

StGeorgeBeacon
SAINT GEORGE, UT

I think there is an aspect of this that has not been touched upon, which has to do with celibacy and whether it is for everyone or not. I've read stories of several former Catholic Priests who said that after a certain amount of time remaining celibate, they realized that celibacy just wasn't for them--whereas, other Priests feel quite comfortable with it (and attribute it to having a divine gift of celibacy). I think it's important to point this out because many of these folks may not be suited to celibacy and may be setting themselves up to self-defeating psychological trauma.
If celibacy is right for some people, then they may want to pursue it. Others, who aren't suited, should be free to pursue a sexual relationship.

Caveat: I'm Atheist. I don't think there is any evidence for any of the gods that have been asserted. Nor do I believe in the so-called "divinity" of the bible or any other so-called "inspired" religious book. I think religion causes much more harm than good, in my opinion.

Tekakaromatagi
Dammam, Saudi Arabia

Celibacy is a dignified lifestyle for a variety of people. I have known people with really bad diabetes or with cystic fibrosis who chose to live celibate lives. They weren't fitting with a cookie cutter lifestyle that is desirable. They had found their own path which was right for them.

Ranch
Here, UT

"Instead, she has chosen celibacy."

--- If someone wants to practice celibacy, fine, its a personal choice and shouldn't be the only option available to LGBT.

"... those who were gay or struggled with homosexuality ..."

--- The only real "struggle" is accepting yourself and who you are. There is nothing wrong with being LGBT, nor should there even be a "struggle"; the problem is that so many are judgemental!

"“We can be easily misunderstood, to put it nicely,..."

--- Marriage, to one you love, is a viable option.

"...deeply held religious ... conflict with same-sex attraction and/or behavior, resulting in anxiety, depression, stress, and inner turmoil,”

--- This is what religion does.

--- The Catholic's "celibate" group is more of a "serial-celibate" group.

"...the loneliness of celibacy ..."

--- Can be devastating!

Homosexuality only becomes sinful when a person chooses to act on it.

--- What if "god" make you homosexual for a reason, and you bury your "talent". What then?

“It speaks against attraction that becomes lust.”

--- If it isn't "lust" for a straight person to be attracted, why is it "lust" for a gay person to be attracted?

Ranch
Here, UT

@RedWings;

Marriage never killed anyone either.

@TgT;

You deliberately misstated FrozenFractals point.

ordinaryfolks
seattle, WA

samhill

I used "I could care less" in the original sense of the phrase. That is, I don't think about such things at all. These things have no effect on me, and there are a lot of other things to worry about. Therefore, I could really care less.

It is not any of my business how this lady, or anyone else, conducts their life. I don't care if she or anyone else goes to church or does not. That she or anyone else is gay or straight. That she or anyone else is married or single. It is their choice, and it has not effect on my choices.

The busybodies of the world are the folks you ought to be suspicious of, not me. There seem to be a strangely large amount of people who wish to interfere in other people's life, their choices, their religion.

Really???
Kearns, UT

Yes, celibacy is an option, but is it really a healthy option? I am not an expert, but I am sure there are real physical and emotional health benefits of having a partner to hold hands, hug, and kiss. Why do we keep on insisting that since some of us may be gay, we shouldn't be allowed to fully participate in all of the joys of life?

donn
layton, UT

RE: Twin Lights , In the eternities, I believe all of the struggle and sacrifice (of whatever kind) we endure well will be rewarded. True,

Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness… work hard to prove that you really are among those God has called and chosen. Do these things, and you will never fall away. Then God will give you a grand ‘entrance into the eternal Kingdom’ of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.( 2Peter 1:5-11 NLT) E.g…

Honor your Father and Mother”[not mothers/polygamy],which is the first commandment(Not a suggestion) with a promise. God distinguishes father and mother from all other persons on earth, chooses them and sets them next to Himself, occupying the highest place in our lives next to God. Ephesians 6:2,3

Frozen Fractals
Salt Lake City, UT

@the greater truth
Nuns and monks chose to take a vow of celibacy. Straight people expected to be celibate til marriage aren't inherently expected to be celibate their entire life. I control my sex drive.

I was responding to someone who was saying how gay people have options but at the same time they specifically are against one of the options (same-sex marriage). I was noting that if someone really championed options they wouldn't have an uneven standard where straight people can marry someone of the opposite gender and then ditch the celibacy while gay people can't marry someone of the same gender and then ditch the celibacy.

play by the rules
SOUTH JORDAN, UT

To Ordinary Folks. It does not concern you what I consider sin. I consider homosexuality to be sin and I will declare that in honor and support of my God.

Frozen Fractals
Salt Lake City, UT

Basically this is what I'm going for...

@RedWings
" We each need to respect others' decisions, especially if it is not the one we would choose for ourselves...."

Then respect those who want to have a same-sex marriage.

Baccus0902
Leesburg, VA

I'm sure Ms. Sarah Pulliam Bailey thought of herself as open minded and the bearer of good news to the poor LGBT person who wants to follow the gospel but happens "to be afflicted by gayness".

I always agreed with women who doubt the vocie of the Vatican as a group of old celibate men ruling on women issues. I assume that for straight people should be very easy to advice celibacy for homosexuals.

As a gay man and as a Christian man I believe we should follow the law of chastity in the same way as straight people do. I think that LGBT people should remain celibate until marriage, where the option of marriage is available, or until they find a person whith whom they plan to settle for life.

God stated that is not good for man to be alone!

Any double standards from certain so called Christians for the gay community IMHO is Un-Christian.

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