No one is making anyone "bow" to social norms. I'm simply asking
that you respect and honor them. If you don't believe in showing others
respect, that is your right. But when it involves public nudity, then it is the
right of others to have concerns.If a man took a perverted
interested in watching a woman do this, then would be more objectifying of the
woman than simply asking her politely to shield herself from the eyes of
others.And if want natural, then why not have men pee in public?
Where does the line stop? Why is it that a man is arrested for something and a
woman isn't? Because the baby needs it? Does the blanket hurt anyone? No.
Making women out to be victims of men, when it isn't really true... is
doing something to objectify men. In fact, it hurts women and men.The word "trivial" does not begin to describe this issue. It's no
wonder when the opinion that started this issue was born out of not being
willing to show respect to others in the first place.
Many have commented that covering up is easy enough and polite to those who feel
uncomfortable at the sight of a nursing breast. Why not try looking at it
another way? Yes, the sight of women's breasts can be a
powerful sexual stimulus, but maybe getting over that reaction is good for all
of us. Maybe we all need to try seeing breasts differently, especially in a
nursing context, and not let them make us uncomfortable. Maybe we can take a
more grown-up view of nursing, and teach children to do the same. As others have mentioned, we don't hand formal letters to women wearing
short skirts or low-cut tops, asking them to please cover up because they make
us uncomfortable (even if they do). Handing someone a note like that would
rightly be considered rude. If women want to cover up, that's fine, but we
shouldn't tell any woman she has to do it.
When breasts are exposed everyone stares. If that is what you want? Ok so a
lot of breasts are being partially exposed in today's fashions. Not so much
modesty as some of us would like. Personally I would prefer women to cover up.
As has been pointed out it takes just a few seconds.
"A woman's breast feeding, including breast feeding in any location
where the woman otherwise may rightfully be, does not under any circumstance
constitute a violation of this part, irrespective of whether or not the breast
is covered during or incidental to feeding."That paragraph
exists at least 3 places in state law.State Law. Notice
"incidental to feeding"If just one person is being
complained about, perhaps they were less worried about incidental exposure than
they should have been.
I find the lack of knowledge about breastfeeding and misplaced prudishness in
these comments to be appalling.Breastfeeding is a legally protected
right. It is a valuable process to newborns and small children who have
different nutritional and dietary needs and schedules than the rest of us.Breastfeeding is not indecency. If you see a small flash of breast
tissue during the process, in almost every single case it's much less
breast tissue than you see on the cover of the magazine at the checkout stand at
your local grocery store.Children, including teenage boys, need to
know that breastfeeding is a natural and healthy process, and one which should
be fully supported by society for the health of our children.
OnlyInUtah writes "Breastfeeding is natural but why would any mother want to
force others to watch?"Were these children bound hand and foot
with their eyelids taped open? Did somebody put a gun to their backs and tell
them to stare at the mom's breast or they'd be shot?The
sight of a baby being nursed is not the least bit sexual. Not too many kids
think the stork brings babies, (or feeds them after they arrive). I don't
understand your concern if your kids see a breast being used for its intended
purpose."Awakening", I wish I could "Like" your post
a dozen times.
@OnlyInUtah"why would any mother want to force others to
watch?"Wow, is their some kind of armed "Breast Feeding
Militia" out there putting a gun to the heads of helpless diners telling
them "they WILL watch that mother over there feed her child"?"but please respect the rights of those around you and cover up."Um, the child has a right to be nursed and the mother has a right to
nurse. Your nonexistant right to "not be offended" in no way, shape,
form or fashion trumps the right of a mother to care for her child."Why would you think any of us want to watch?"Better
question: why are you watching instead of just minding your own business?"if she thinks we all want our school age children to see
this."And the problem with school aged children seeing the
beautiful and tender act of a mother nursing and nurturing her child is?
This isn't difficult. There are certain areas of the body that are
considered "indecent" in public. If we keep to those, then yes, you need
to cover up.
Breastfeeding is natural but why would any mother want to force others to watch?
Of course it's legal but please respect the rights of those around you
and cover up. Why would you think any of us want to watch? This woman must be
lacking in common sense if she thinks we all want our school age children to see
RBB, I'm guessing that most men with expanding stomachs and hairy chests
keep them covered, not "out of respect for the way it would make people
feel" but because you know that people would think it gross and YOU would be
embarrassed. And yes, if a middle school kid sees an exposed breast of a
nursing mother, it's a quick message: that's what their purpose is.
My daughter's baby will not stand for a cover over her head,
and she doesn't see what the problem is; she nurses her baby in her back
yard. Periodically the neighbor comes over and if he sees her nursing, he beats
a hasty retreat. She figures that's his problem.
Why should someone bow to social norms that objectify women? The insistence on
breastfeeding mothers covering up contributes to the oppression and
objectification of women and SHOULD be challenged. What would those of you
insisting that breastfeeding mothers cover up have said to Rosa Parks or other
blacks challenging the "social norm" of racial discrimination -
"Stop, you're making people uncomfortable."?Unfortunately, since we live in a patriarchal society the objectification of
women will not end until enough men stand up and say "Enough!" So as a
man I will continue to advocate for the rights of mothers to breastfeed
whenever, wherever, and however they choose. I will teach my sons that breasts
are for nourishing children and not for their sexual gratification. I will
teach my daughters that their worth does not lie in their appearance and that
they have no responsibility to "protect the virtue of men" by covering
themselves up or obsessing about what they wear. I will teach all of my
children to recognize all of the sexualized media images of women for what they
are - subtle attempts to objectify women and subvert their right to act as
subjects rather than be acted upon as objects.
Keep your shirt on. I breastfed five babies for over four and a half years and
never exposed anything to the world. Yes it's natural and yes, please have
the decency to consider those around you and cover yourself when in public. I am
an artist and have seen more tatas in studio classes than I care to remember. No
inhibition here, just a sense of decency and respect for others'
"rights" as well.
I have breastfed 7 babies. I support it 100%. But I agree with other comments
here, that I am not comfortable with seeing other women's breasts. Cover
up with a light blanket. It is just common curtesy. I have seen women at times
just flop out their breast and have no sense of modesty or concern for the
feelings of those around them. You can nurse your baby very inconspicuously. I
have nursed while flying, in church meetings, at restaurants, etc. and no one
was even aware, because I was very concerned not only for my sense of modesty,
but for the feelings of those that might be uncomfortable around me. There are
times and circumstances where going into a private area might be necessary. I
lived in Utah, Idaho and California where the temperatures can be quite hot, but
a light blanket is not going to be a problem. I carried one with me at all
times. When my baby got older and more wiggly, I did retreat to a quiet area, I
picked my nursing times based on what my activities for the day were. Think of
others, that is what we are taught to do.
Asking people to respect a social norm (even one you disagree with) is not
rude.Disregarding the views of others, to get on a high horse, then
refusing reason... is in fact rude.If you can't lift a finger
to respect others, then you can't blame anyone for the disrespect but
yourself. I am fully comfortable seeing someone's breast, but that
doesn't mean I want 15 year old boys looking at a young mother who's
18. You may disagree, but a blanket satisfies both sides of this. Refusing only
satisfies yourself at the expense of others.It is indecent, not
because of what it is, but because of the blatant disregard for other
people's feelings about it. Of all the most trivial issues, I can hardly
believe that lifting a finger to show respect is something up for debate.
To force someone to cover up is to criminalize breastfeeding. Instead we should
do everything we can to encourage the all important act of breastfeeding.
RE: hockeymomThank you for your information. I am not comfortable
with the reasoning. That is, people who do not truly need a free or reduced
cost meal take advantage of it anyway in hopes of artificially boosting the
estimated numbers of truly needy children In effect an overestimation of truly
needy children, a false number knowingly created for monetary gain for the
Alpine School District.As a former resident of the Alpine district
and Utah county, I was unaware of wide spread poverty and malnutrition in the
Highland/Alpine area. While there may be cases where there is a true need for
food assistance to individual families I am not comfortable with falsifying the
data to increase federal funding to a particular district or school.I think this line of reasoning is dishonest and fosters dependence on
government when other, local, methods could be sought and employed to reduce
dependence on the state for assistance. Perhaps a review of how
to live providently and personal caring for our neighbor could organize another
way to meet a need for a summer lunch than kiting the numbers of needy children
for the monetary gain of a school district.
The embarrassment of the 14 year old is not the fault of the nursing mom. Moms
nurse. If you don't like what someone is doing you turn your head. You be
the selfless one. Shouldn't the 14 year old boy be the unselfless gentleman
and suck it up and eat their hamburger on whole wheat bun and green beans? I
don't think it is reasonable to be enable the embarrassment of a baby
nursing of mom. It was in fact the perfect place to eat, everyone was eating.
That was why they all were there. Why not the baby? Cause it makes some people
uncomfy? Get comfy. For those who were hiding under a blanket, feel free. I hope
it was for personal comfort. Whenever someone is asked to cover or leave a sit
in will happen. The person complaining the mom was nursing was the attention
Awakening, you are right on! Saddest of all, though, is that women do this to
one another instead of supporting each other. And the babies, too little to
know anything but the "I'm hungry" signal they get from their
little tummies, simply want a meal. And they want it their way, of
course...often without a silly cover over their faces. Moms aren't thinking
about the audience, btw. They are more concerned about the baby. Just saying....
"No one had shown any indication ever that they were uncomfortable."
Well, I guess we see what happens if anyone does make such an indication, she
makes it a public scandal. I must say I do not feel very sorry for this mother
at all. I suppose principal Monson might have called her to his office instead.
Maybe he didn't think that that this would be such a big deal. I find it
fascinating that out of all the issues in the world, all of the problems and
miseries that face mankind, we can all get angry and fight over an issue as
small as this. It is rather pathetic when you think about it. Anyway, I'm sure that if she had really wanted to clear up any
misunderstandings, or had she been more than just a contention starter, she
might have gone to the principal and talked to him about this herself, heck she
could bring her husband and a lawyer for extra backup, but this public display
is a waste of energy and resources.
There are many times when I am out in public and see people that I think should
be eating in the bathroom or with a blanket over their heads; very seldom,
however, are they infants.To those who think babies should be forced
to eat in bathrooms or under blankets, why don't you try it for a while and
see how you feel?
@Brent T.: Thanks so much for the tip about the Huffington Post article
("How to Breastfeed Appropriately"). It's hilarious and should be
required reading for all those posters who insist that breastfeeding moms should
"cover up" and "be discreet."
Get over it, folks. If you can't tell the difference between a
breastfeeding mother and someone doing a strip show, you are indeed hopeless.
Let Mom do what she needs to in order to feed that baby. She knows how to do it
best--after all, she's Mom, is she not?
Longhornsrock, I'm sure some women do bare all, however that was not the
case with the woman in the article. This was not someone letting it all hang
out. She had 2 shirts to deliberately expose as little as possible. And
it's wonderful that your children did well with a cover. I started using
one the third day of breastfeeding and for about a month he was tolerant, but
the thing is most babies reach a phase where they are so curious about their
environment that blocking their vision will set them off. Trust me, I would be
much happier if he were to accept a cover willingly but this "training"
idea does not work for all. I do not like being exposed and rarely am because I
find it so easy to be discreet using only a shirt (much mores than the 4
different covers I ordered when my little one was born), but sometime you have
to do what you have to do to feed your child.
As a physician and having 4-children who all breastfed, there is no
contraindication to covering up while breastfeeding. This being the case, why
would a breastfeeding mother be against using a blanket or one of the stylish
cover ups made specifically for breastfeeding? Are they trying to purposely see
if they get a reaction? Especially in a school lunch room with a lot of
children. And by the way, what is wrong with being as modest as possible when
breastfeeding in public? And why should all of the families there for lunch feel
like they have to leave because a woman just doesn't feel like covering
up.There is no medical reason to not cover up while breastfeeding in
public. If someone can show me scientific literature to the contrary, I would
love to see it.Some people think being naked all the time is
natural, so why do we not just all be accepting of a naked guy walking around
False argument #1: It is "legal" therefore not only is moral, it must
also be a good idea. False argument #2: "Prudes" are making a big
deal of this. "Prudes" didn't take this public, this woman did.
Letter from principal was discreet and private - unlike the breast feeding.False argument #3: Our ancient ancestors didn't have a problem with
public breast feeding and therefore, neither should we. Ancient ancestors also
didn't have a problem with public executions, wiping themselves with their
hand, & bloodletting. I've heard no clamor to bring any of those things
back. False argument #4: "It's natural and beautiful" and so
what is the problem? Natural, yes. Beautiful, probably not. Don't kid
yourself. Natural does not always equal beautiful.
@ AwakeningWell stated and spot on!.To all who take
offense at women doing what they have evolved/been designed to do with their
breasts and feel exposing one's breasts to nurse ones child is somehow
offensive I suggest you NEVER leave the comforts of your home or venture to
other countries where breasts and breast feeding are respected and not seen as
"indecent" or "immoral" I suspect your sensibilities are too
fragile to handle what you may encounter.
As a mother of eight I too believe there is a time and a place and in the public
arena you need to take into consideration those around you. I would be
uncomfortable with any mother exposing her breast when surely she can cover up
or go into a restroom and nurse her babies. Really, hopefully we have progressed
beyond a tribal mentality. Just take a few moments and ask yourself"would this offend anyone?" if in doubt cover up.
@ longhornsrockThe comment about most women covering up is STILL
true. MOST women do cover up, whether with a blanket, their own shirt pulled
down or the baby's head nuzzled close. If the scene you described is
accurate, then I think MOST nursing mothers would agree that mom was most surely
out of line! MOST women don't want to expose themselves and do
everything they can TO be discrete. It's the one or two who are on an
agenda, have no scruples, or are just free spirits or an "in your face"
attitude who make it difficult on the rest of the sensible public nursers in the
world. I think if the mom at the school lunch room was discrete and was still
complained about, it was by someone who had a fear of seeing an exposed breast,
not that they really did see one. And, MOST teenage boys would
likely be at a skate park or pool. One school summer lunch program services
many school boundaries. This school was probably the most central and had the
best facilities. I bet it was mostly younger children and moms there, with a
few pre-teen kids.
If this offends people, they just need to walk away. America has become so
sexualized, it's pathetic.
I cant remember who it was, but one comment says most women will cover up with a
shirt or something as much as they can. THIS IS NOT TRUE! I have seen some women
who lay their baby in the top of the cart and hunch over with full exposure and
chat away on the cell phone while nursing. THIS upset me to NO END. I had my
kids with me and even they said mom cant she cover up. I was very pregnant at
the time and they were all nursed so knew what it was, but even they were
grossed out by this act.
As a mom who has nursed 4 children I do not agree with this woman. If you want
to be in a building with a lot of children who are not yours then you need to
show some common courtesy and try to cover up with something. They make a ton of
coverups that you can now see baby and still nurse and be discreet. Get over
yourself and cover up! All of my kids nursed in public. No one saw what I was
doing. @mstrad if your baby wont take a cover up then obviously you
haven't been covering up. It is a learned thing just like anything else. I
go and get a annual physical, that doesn't mean I want the 12 odd nurses
and other medical people checking me out when I am still in the hospital. So yes
I covered up there too. Not to mention family members who come visit. @True Blue SEoul get a grip WIFE can cover up. I am betting if your 14 yr old
son walked in and was ogling some woman just doing something natural you
wouldn't be so darn happy!
This woman is using her breasts for their God-given purpose, and she needs to be
shamed for that because some people are incapable of seeing breast-feeding for
the very basic, non-sexual act it is?Here's an idea - instead
of shaming mothers for caring for their children, why don't we expect the
parents of young boys and men to teach them to honor and respect women in
general and mothers in specific and not view breast-feeding as a titillating
experience?And, if some people are bothered by it, why don't
they own up to that and approach the woman directly instead of tattling to the
principal?Also, as other posters have pointed out, sending a formal
letter is not starting a dialogue - talking to the woman face-to-face is
starting a dialogue.
Thank you to Hottcocoa15347, Commodore, Awakening and hockeymom for piping in
here with some great comments that get to the heart of the matter. First,
nothing in the article or the photo suggests that the women involved
weren't covering up and trying to be discreet; in fact they were. They and
we all get it -- be as discreet as possible and as you're comfortable with.
But even where discretion isn't meeting the norms of onlookers --
don't look, or look inward at your own issues because there is nothing
sexual about breastfeeding.
I get that that breast feeding is a natural and possibly mandatory way to
nourish your baby, but I think other parents who have brought their young
children to the luncheon shouldn't have to explain what their child may
have noticed, especially the second day when more supporters showed up. Standing
up for your rights is a wonderful thing about this country, but I think there is
an appropriate time and place for most everything. I just think adult
differences of opinions shouldn't be fought in front of children, no matter
what the issue is. I just think sometimes we get so wrapped up in being right
that we do it at the expense of others. Both sides could have handled this
differently. But if the battle must be waged, please make an effort to wage the
battle in a place were kids do not end up in the middle of it.
The self-righteousness that shoots out of people when this issue comes up is
amazing. For those men and women who have never breast-fed and those women who
have breastfed but who haven't breastfed every baby ever born, who are
saying, "I support breastfeeding, but come on, just use a cover!"
here's the thing. Not every baby will nurse peacefully under a cover!
Like, um, MY baby! Honestly, I'm surprised that there are so many moms out
there saying their babies did just fine with the cover. It seems pretty natural
to me that most babies would be difficult to feed with a cover over them. All I
KNOW though, is that my baby is nearly impossible to nurse with a cover over her
and has been from day 1. So, do you still support me breastfeeding my baby or
not? Or should I stay home all the time? And to those who are concerned about
exposure to teenage boys, wouldn't you rather those teenage boys be taught
that breastfeeding is what breast are for? Isn't that a GOOD message for
@ Strider303Lunch programs are offered over the summer to
demonstrate to the Feds that there is a need in the community for lunches to
continue to be provided for the coming school year. In our Utah County based
district, they encourage anyone and everyone to use the summer lunch program so
they can show higher numbers to get more funding. Many people take advantage of
the summer free lunch not necessarily because they can't afford to feed
their own kids but to support the school and have an "outing" a few
times a week with restless kids over the summer. If she is one of those, she
was actually helping the school by being there, and should therefor have been
welcomed and respected.
@ ClarissaYou're right! It is a sacred bond between mother and
baby and it should be supported and respected. So sacred that many women
struggle through many difficulties, physical and otherwise to make it work
because they want that experience; that bond, and because they want the very
best for their babies. When there is judgment and scorn surrounding it, it
makes it even more difficult than you know. Would it have been
better if the Mother had left her children unattended to nurse somewhere else?
Should she have let the baby scream for his dinner, walking and bouncing, while
disturbing other families? Hurry her other kids to finish or shorten their
lunch, then make a hasty exit to nurse in private? Or just sit down and meet
the baby's need to nurse and keep everyone around her happy? I choose the
latter. This was a family setting, for crying out loud! We'd expect to
see nursing mothers here or at the park or on a bench at Lagoon. Bravo for the
women who showed support! If I still had a nursing baby, I'd have gone
I have no problem with people breast-feeding in public, but seriously, COVER UP.
You can't tell me it doesn't make most people uncomfortable. This
really makes me sick.
Every time this debate comes up it amazes me how few people recognize the root
of the problem. It has nothing to do with breastfeeding, modesty, or
consideration of others and everything to do with the objectification of women
and the sexualization of breasts. In our culture breasts are viewed primarily as
sexual objects. This idea is reinforced by the media, the fashion industry, and
religious organizations. Women have been oppressed and objectified for so long
it has become ingrained in our society and most people fail to recognize the
subtle ways in which we all reinforce the idea. Every time you tell a
breastfeeding mother to cover up you are saying "Your breasts are sexual
objects, please cover them." When we promote the false modesty of covering
your body to girls and women we are telling them "Your body is a sexual
object and must be covered." Women are used to sell things to both men and
women by portraying them as objects of sexual desire. By the time boys reach
puberty they have already acquired a learned sexual response to women's
breasts. The only way to end the debate is to stop the objectification of
You know what is astounding about this whole matter? It's quite humorous to
hear people express strong opinions about covering up while breastfeeding
without them considering that for thousands of years in many different places
among many different people they breastfed without a cover. The LDS readers
should consider that even their pioneer ancestors did not cover up. There is a
great picture of early church history showing a church meeting and oh my
goodness....there is a woman in the congregation breastfeeding her child. Oh the
scandal. Breastfeeding is normal....uncovered or covered. If you
have a problem with breastfeeding in public I would invite you to consider that
maybe there is something wrong with your opinion. I support women who choose to
breastfeed their children and I support them to do it a manner that they are
This is a question/comment for those men and women out there who are saying just
cover up. Sure, it would be great if it were that easy for
everyone. But what happens, when you have a baby who thrashes and flails under
a cover, thereby drawing MORE attention than pulling one's shirt up just
enough to latch, exposing little to nothing. Is the mother just supposed to not
feed the child, not leave the house? I have a 5month old who did fine with a
cover the first few weeks, and then yanked and pulled at the thing, constantly
latching and unlatching, while staying latched and unexposed without the
cover.If you've actually been following this story, you can see
from photos this is not the case of a woman who whipped everything out. She
used her clothing to be as discreet as possible, without attracting more
attention by using a cover. And for those experienced nursing moms who had
success with a cover, you have wonderfully cooperative babies. But you
can't reason with a 5 month old as to "why you need to leave the cover
alone while you eat". It doesn't work that way.
I believe women should breast feed whenever and wherever they want and need to.
I also believe that using a thin blanket or covering to cover-up is just a show
of courtesy. I breast fed five children and never had any issues and my eldest
is 29 years old. I fed her in public but was discreet with a covering and even
that many years ago I never had a problem being in a public place. Just cover
up. Whether we like it or not in our society today the female breasts first have
a sexual meaning. Before you say it...yes the breasts first function in
biological and mothering terms is to nourish our children but in today's
society a covering is not just wise it is showing courtesy to those you are
around. Now cover-up and feed those precious babies!
I'm thinking about the kids here, such as third grade boys who may never
have seen nursing before, suddenly exposed to a mom whipping one out. No, it's not sexual; yes, it's natural. But for younger kids? Even
older boys? I had a 14-year-old son eat lunch there for a week. He
would have been intensely embarrassed about the scene.Really,
people, we can't consider others' feelings, but have to focus only on
our "rights"? We've become incredibly immature, then.
The BIGGER deal the prudes make this, The BIGGER deal it becomes.Your over-reactions will just make people curious.It's like
is someone trips, and no one notices, it's no big deal.If someone
trips, and someone screams -- EVERYONE notices.Seriously, Nursing others - covered or uncovered is NO Big deal!
Really folks, this is a middle school. Hormones are budding in young boys. A
breast feeding mom in the boys cafeteria giving them an eye full is not what
they need. Breast feeding is great and natural and needed, but seeing your
breast is neither great, nor natural nor needed. I have three daughter-in-laws.
They always go into another room and still cover up when breastfeeding in my
house, and I appreciate it. I have been to African villages where 30 women are
breastfeeding their babies at once and none of them are covering up, but in
America, we cover ourselves. It is courtesy. I am happy that you can breastfeed
in public, but please don't exhibit your wares. I am still traumatized
over seeing a mother with her breast hanging out in church as her baby decided
he was done. That was 37 years ago, and I was not trying to find a breast to
gaze upon, but there it was. Just cover up please.
Well sex is also natural (and necessary) but it is against the law to have it in
public. The "it's natural" argument doesn't fly. Sounds like
the mom has an agenda she is pushing or simply likes to shock people (apparently
little kids it seems).
Get over it! I would rather avert my eyes from a breast feeding mom than deal
with a crying baby. Because remember, the baby will cry when it's hungry.
The fact that you are feeling sexual repression by seeing an infant feed
is YOUR problem, not society's.
Give me a break. Just because breastfeeding is showing your private parts in a
"natural" and "non-sexual" way doesn't mean it should be
done in public. Men can't urinate in public, but that's also showing
your private parts in a natural and non-sexual way.It takes 30
seconds to find a private place to breast feed. Your baby's not going to
starve to death in those 30 seconds.
this cracks me up...The TV and newspapers cover this as an atrocity to
women and that it is their right and that they have every legal and moral right
to be viewed in public doing so...but NONE of them show breast
feeding on TV or in pictures... why not?If it is so ok and natural
and non sexual, they why not print pictures and show it on the tv news?cover the breasts ladies!
I breast fed my kids, but also did it discreetly or, in my case, privately. If
there are that many breast feeding moms who want to be in a public school for
whatever reason, they should be considerate of the rules of the place and the
fact that it is public. Just because breast feeding babies is a natural act,
doesn't mean that we can dismiss the concerns of others regardless if you
(the breast feeding mom) thinks they are prudish or behind the times. Having
sex, urinating and defecating are natural acts, but I think most of us
wouldn't consider doing them in a public setting.
While perhaps some things are better covered up, my understanding is that the
baby enjoy lunch with the family.
There are many activities we do every day which are "perfectly natural"
but we don't do THEM in public. My children and grandchildren were all
breast fed, but never in a way that would cause discomfort for those around
them. The person who went to the principal should have handled it
themselves, by expressing their discomfort to the nursing mom.
This is a middle school. I presume the cafeteria had plenty of young teenage
boys flooded with hormones. While you have a right to bare your breasts to nurse
your baby, and your breasts are natural, you're also being inconsiderate
and rude to the concerns of other parents by flaunting yourself. It may be legal
to pass gas on a crowded bus, and it may be natural to do so, but that
doesn't mean it's sensible to do so.
I am shocked, no stunned, no traumatized about how everyone has to be overly
dramatic about being asked to do anything. My kids have a.legal right to pass
gas, but I ask them when they need to to be discreet out of respect for others.
Likewise, I have a right to unbutton my shirt all the way down so you can see my
hairy chest and expanding stomach. Even on hot days I do not do so out of
respect for how it would make everyone else feel. Breast-feeding makes some
people uncomfortable, so would it hurt to simple show a little bit of modesty?
Instead we need a protest. Let's show everyone that we have a right to do
something regardless of whether it makes others uncomfortable.
Exposed cleavage is in the public's face all the time for no other reason
than....clothing styles?What if every time a clerk or teller exposed
their cleavage to the public during a transaction for no other reason than low
neck lines being in style, a patron insulted them with a written complaint about
exhibitionism. Would that complainer about exposure be considered a
prude and their objections dismissed?Is exhibitionism against
law?Breastfeeding mothers need special protection from misguided
"K" said: "It's not sexual."Uh, she was in a
public middle school...everything is sexual. Trust me. EVERYTHING.While this woman absolutely has a right to breastfeed in public, and I support
that right, it's also courteous to make some effort to cover up. I
understand that sometimes a blanket falls or the baby can come unhitched, and
that's fine. If you're making an effort to be discreet, most sensible
people won't have a problem. What is a problem is if you're walking
around with your wares hanging out all over the place, particularly in a place
like a middle school. People also have a right to be in a public place,
particularly with children, without having to deal with overt exposure of that
nature. You can wear a bikini to the library. Doesn't mean you should do
it.I wasn't there, so I have no idea what actually happened,
but the fact that the principle, who already has a busy schedule without being
the breastfeeding police, felt he needed to take time to write her an official
letter tells me that there is probably another side to the story.
Could both sides have handled this event better? Probably so.I find
the circumstances of the incident interesting, i.e., the mother brought here
whole family in for the free lunch. It was not free, it was provided at no cost
to the recipient at taxpayer expense. Hence being a guest, as it were, in
another person's "house" and "dinning" at their expense
some adherence to their petition for modesty as they defined it should have been
considered.Had she been willing or able to provide her family a
lunch at home this event would not have occurred. So, is the issue
oppressive bureaucracy infringing upon a person's "right" to nurse
an infant in public? Or is is someone availing themselves of the public largess
and not being willing to conform to a request for acceptable deportment while so
doing?Only the Shadow knows for sure.
Been there done that. Nursed six kids. Never had to expose myself in
public.there are always those who have to be extreme.
@JohnCohenThe other people who are not breastfeeding have just as
much right as this woman does to be there. Why would they have to be expected
to leave when they are not the ones making others uncomfortable? That's
backwards. Yes, this woman has the right to do this in public because of the
law, but some may view her action as "sexual" and feel uncomfortable by
it. Why is feeling uncomfortable around this situation viewed as wrong?
I'm a married man - the last thing I want to see is someone
"exposed" under the guise of "breastfeeding". Have some
self-respect and respect for others and cover up, please.
Shocked? Really? She couldn't have been surprised at all. True Blue
Seoul, he probably would.
Great article in the Huffington Post called How To Breastfeed Appropriately
which I highly recommend for a humorous view that strikes home perfectly in
making the needed point here.Kudos to these women for standing with
The shaming and policing of women continues.
I have absolutely no problem with breast feeding, but I don't really want
to see your breast and I certainly don't want children to see your breast.
As for the other immodest dress: Would you be comfortable with a teacher
teaching in a swimsuit or super short shorts? I think breast feeding is almost a
sacred bond between a child and her or his mother.
Please don't judge others. Breastfeeding is hard enough already. We are
just trying to nourish our little ones. Because of rude people that treat women
poorly I often sit on a toilet or in a hot car even though I have every right to
nurse in public. My baby will not tolerate a cover and I am unable to pump. My
baby is exclusively breastfed, often behind closed doors. You have no idea the
experience of someone else. If you have a problem stop looking. Think of the
baby and the quality meal they are getting. Breastmilk is the best thing a baby
Oh yes, the modesty argument! We are completely bombarded by images of women in
swimsuits and other women walking around in super short shorts and form-fitting
clothes. Do you really believe that a mother breastfeeding is immodest? Really?
I mean seriously? You feel that these women are purposely bearing themselves to
show off their "stuff"? Absolutely unbelievable! I am blown away by the
drawing of a connection between immodesty and breastfeeding. Do you sincerely
believe showing someone your genitals and breastfeeding are the same? For all of
you "modest" people who are sitting on your Christian modesty, what
would Jesus do? Would he walk up and tell her to "cover up lady, you're
immodest." Modesty run amuck!
Oh please. These moms. Genitals are perfectly natural too but doesn't mean
everyone wants to see them just because they are yours and natural. Women
shouldn't be ashamed of breast feeding as it is a natural thing but
doesn't mean everyone wants to see what you have. Some of these women are a
bit rabid. They can breast feed discreetly.
I am stunned with the comments above! Absolutely floored! I cannot believe
anyone would tell the mother to "be more modest", "cover up",
not make others "uncomfortable". Breast feeding is one of the most
natural acts to human nature. For crying out loud! This is feeding a baby food!
All of you should be ashamed of yourselves. We need a loving, caring society who
makes it as easy and comfortable for a mother to breast feed as possible. My
wife is now breastfeeding our third child, do any of you commenters above have
any idea how hard it is to care for a young baby, not to mention a bunch of
prudes telling you to hide yourself?And yes, the above commenter
pointed out the obvious. The principal "starting a dialogue" would have
been the principal coming over to talk with the mother. Having some other
assistant run up and hand a letter to them and run away is not a
"dialogue". Logan School District, you ought to be ashamed of yourselves
and apologize for this ridiculous behavior. How childish is it to not be able to
go and address a concern by talking with the person?
"It was brought to the attention of the principal who felt that, at least,
an initial dialogue with the individual mother would probably be good, Garrett
said."A formal letter is not a dialogue! The principal should be
aware of the law and act accordingly, not surreptitiously accost the wrong
party. Most mothers do use a light blanket to cover breastfeeding
and I do expect to see that behavior but when I don't it certainly
isn't a big deal.
She had every legal right to do what she did, if people had a problem with it
they could leave.
This is not an issue of the law, or rights, but of common courtesy. Nursing
children often come "unattached", and often more is exposed than even
intended. Covering up with a thin blanket in a air conditioned room to avoid
making others uncomfortable is just common courtesy. Given that the local
culture is somewhat sensitive to standards of modesty, erring on the side of
courtesy in a very public place is just being considerate.And to
others who were in the school, if someone is not being particularly discrete or
courteous in such a circumstance, and you are uncomfortable, find a seat facing
the other direction.
The principal should have explained that she had a legal right to breastfeed and
told them to lump it. They need to get over it. It's for a baby. It's
not sexual. If you have other standards of modesty avert your eyes and keep your
standards and let her have her standards. The Pope says feed the baby. There were a few people that thought it was excessive exposure. She could have
been very discrete. Most didn't complain. It's a breast. She could
have been covered up for a second and someone might not like it and complain.
Their complaints aren't supported by law.
Yes, it's really not a big deal to cover up with a thin blanket. If others
are uncomfortable, be considerate of them. Besides, I don't exactly want to
show off my "assets" in public; I rather keep them private.In 20 years of nursing nine children, I never had a problem being discreet.
I breast fed my babies also. And even I do not want to see breasts in public.
It takes one second to cover up with something.
Not everything that is "natural" needs to be viewed by everyone in a
public place. I support the principal. Breast feeding moms should cover up.