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Comments about ‘Linda & Richard Eyre: The cult of the individual, or 'me' vs. 'we'’

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Published: Tuesday, July 15 2014 5:15 p.m. MDT

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A Quaker
Brooklyn, NY

I think you have some things backwards. The reason most people I've met put off marriage, or postpone having children is because they're working hard, sacrificing for the future, in order to be able to afford to live in a decent house, provide for their children, and to become more mature themselves so they can be better parents.

Young people who are working their way towards emotional and financial maturity, getting educations, building careers are not doing it out of selfishness. They're doing it out of a sense of obligation and responsibility. They're building financial and personal capital that will benefit their eventual family. They know that to do otherwise risks falling into a chain of permanent poverty and failure, for themselves and their children.

A Scientist
Provo, UT

Quaker is quite right. And many young people are doing that on the advice of their parents,who learned the hard way that starting families because of the preachiness of religious leaders, was not the way to go.

BobLaw
Cottonwood Heights, UT

Individuals who put off getting married until they are through with their education, are ready to buy a house, or are more mature miss out on the very opportunities that they are trying to have. We never have enough education, the house we want is always out of reach, and we are never mature enough. Being mature is going through the problems and the opportunity for growth that they provide.

Steve C. Warren
WEST VALLEY CITY, UT

Re: "It is not the individual that is the basic unit of society, it is the family."

No, the basic unit of society and in eternity is the individual. The family organization exists to help individuals grow and to find love and happiness. Salvation is always an individual matter. To teach otherwise is, of course, false doctrine.

RedShirt
USS Enterprise, UT

To "Steve C. Warren" if the basic unit of society now and for eternity is not the family, why do we refer to God as "Our Father in Heaven". Using the term father implies a family structure. Even Jesus cried for his "Dad" when on the cross. There are other references within the Bible that teach of the eternal nature of families.

To "A Quaker" you are wrong. By putting off marriage until they can afford what they determine to be decent material things is a selfish reason. If I said to you I won't get married until I can afford a 3000 sqft house in a decent neighborhood, what would you think? On the other hand, if I said that I am going to get married and live in a small apartment while my spouse and I save for our future and find a good neighborhood we can afford. Which one sounds more selfish?

Schnee
Salt Lake City, UT

If parents are receiving gov't subsidies they're irresponsible, and if adults are delaying kids until they have more money they're lazy and selfish. Not much room to win if you hold both those views...

Steve C. Warren
WEST VALLEY CITY, UT

To "RedShirt"

I'm not sure that I follow your logic. Yes, all of us, as part of the human family, are children of a Heavenly Father, but that does not make the family the basic unit of society. The nuclear family, for example, is "a" unit of society, but "the basic" unit of the nuclear family (and the human family) is always the individual.

slcdenizen
Murray, UT

"Cult" is obviously a relative term for this couple.

Redshirt1701
Deep Space 9, Ut

To "Steve C. Warren" now you are no longer making sense. You say that we are children of God, and that he is our father and that we comprise his family. So, you now agree that the family is an eternal structure, and that we will exist in eternity within a family.

But an individual cannot make up society. It is like saying that a lone wolf comprises a pack of wolves. A lone wolf is just a lone wolf and is not part of a pack until there are many people involved. For society, the foundation or basic unit is the family. Society cannot exist without groups of people, and the most basic group of people is a family.

Steve C. Warren
WEST VALLEY CITY, UT

RedShirt1701 wrote: "the most basic group of people is a family."

Absolutely right! The family is a group, and the individual is the basic unit of the family. Whether a society consists of one family (as in the case of Noah or as in Adam & Eve, for example) or many families, the basic unit of each family and of the society is the individual.

Stormwalker
Cleveland , OH

@RedShirt: "Which one sounds more selfish?"

Neither one actually sounds more selfish. They sound like different choices and options chosen by the people involved. One person may choose to go to college before marrying, another malic to get married willing college. Some may want to pay off debt or reach certain financial goals… Others may choose not to do that, or do it as part of a couple. Some may choose to stay single and work many long hours to build a foundation for their career, others may choose to prioritize a relationship and not work long hours. Or, to marry somebody who will also be working long hours, or who doesn't mind them being gone all the time.

Many many different choices. And I think that's the operative word here: choices.

Your way was, hopefully, right for you. My path – based on my background and experience and goals – was probably very different from yours. It's only "wrong "if we do it for the wrong reasons – like to try to please somebody else, or live up to unrealistic expectations.

And neither option is selfish. It's the path that person shows to take.

iron&clay
RIVERTON, UT

This article sounds like an indictment against the twenty something and beyond single people who can't or won't make a commitment to marriage.

It's always the single folks who are posting the selfies on facebook.

Redshirt1701
Deep Space 9, Ut

To "Steve C. Warren" actually individuals are not the basic unit of a family. I take a group of 10 people and put them together and they will not form a family. A family is NOT a grouping of random individuals. A family is made of up of people that are related or adopted and is typically headed by a mother and father.

To "Stormwalker" go back and read the two situations again. Which one is focused on what a single person wants, and which one is not. While you do that, keep focused on the fact that selfishness is when a person focuses on their own desires and wants, and an unselfish person is focused on others.

JayTee
Sandy, UT

I think the article is missing the fact that people are now FORCED to look out for themselves more, because the government has taken away many choices and options by instituting inflation and heavy taxation, plus mandated reverse discrimination and reduced productivity. Gone are the days when you could wave a diploma and get a great long-term career and be able to buy the traditional American lifestyle. Also, many are soured by the idea of marriage and family because their personal observations don't comport with what is "sold" as a wonderful deal involving bliss and eternal peace and happiness; most marriages fail substantially, and a huge percentage often actually end in divorce. But is is more of a "me" society now, and many are forgetting to look out for others without being compelled or guilted into caring, evidently.

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