Comments about ‘Court lifts stay, but gives Utah chance to appeal same-sex marriage recognition’

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Published: Friday, July 11 2014 6:00 p.m. MDT

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Joan Watson

One encourages fighting for and doing all one can to preserve traditional marriages between a man and a woman, God himself ordained marriage between a man and a woman, with a warning "let no man put asunder." If same sex marriages become equal with traditional marriages - then the wind has been sown and a whirl wind will be harvested.

Spanish Fork, UT

A child's greatest chance for success in life is proven to be when reared by a Father AND a Mother. A child reared in a step-parent relationship is 100 times more likely to be abused.

Distorting the definition of marriage reduces our children's chances for success. That's a simple fact of life. Marriage is primarily about what is the most secure and effective way for children to learn. If people who don't care about rearing children want to co-habitate, then pass laws honoring their partnership, but don't distort marriage.

This isn't about hating me or you. It's about making the best environment for children. Every child deserves a Mother and a Father. Let's put our efforts into solidifying the known equation for success, not diluting and distorting it.

Ogden, UT

Good decision. These couples were married in Utah at a time when there was no effective ban in place against same sex marriage. They were legal when they were contracted; they should be recognized now.

Lehi, UT

...and the propagandists are on the clock.

Primary Chorister
Salt Lake City, UT

I do not understand how allowing two Utah women to marry "puts asunder" the traditional marriage of a man and a woman.
If you truly want to preserve traditional marriages you would need to change the divorce laws. It seems that traditional marriages are being "put asunder" by the traditionally married man and woman when they decide they can no longer live together.
One could put effort into strengthening all marriage relationships rather than discriminating against same sex couples.

Lehi, UT

Utah should stand up for the right to let each of us- all inclusive "We The People"- have a voice in decisions about, and defense of, marriage. What reason would our government ever have to legally enforce homosexual relationships? Gays can already love, vote, work, etc. there is no reason for tax payers to be forced to promote and enforce their sexual preferences.

Kuna, ID

A world without any limits.
But, then the lefts are the King of rules.
It's a strange place this thing called life.

Midlothian, VA

Primary Chorister says
"If you truly want to preserve traditional marriages you would need to change the divorce laws."

Just because there are some rotten apples out there, does not mean we will disregard the value of apples all together. The fact that so many marriages are failing is a sign of many troubling treads in modern day society. Embracing more troubling trends is not going to help strengthen the apple tree.

Salt Lake City, UT

To Snapdragon,

I couldn't agree more with your comment. Various modern trends in society are leading to much disruption of individual lives and a general coarsening of society in the wrong direction. If we hope to strengthen society we should identify and support those values that have served America well for over 200 years. But then I have a biased point of view having one of those rare marriages that has endured for 37 years and going strong. Alas, we are going to have to find ways to maintain our values in a sea of pollution of many varieties.

The Shire, UT

"The fact that so many marriages are failing is a sign of many troubling treads in modern day society."

The group with the highest divorce rate in America identifies as "Conservative Christian." Perhaps we should start our search for causes there. The group with the lowest divorce rate identifies as "Agnostic/Atheist." Perhaps we should start our search for solutions there.

Just an observation.

Denver, CO

This appeal gives the term, "The agony of defeat," a special new life. Governor Herbert and Attorney General Reyes were denied a stay, requiring Utah to recognize 1000+ same-sex marriages. Instead they were granted a 10-day reprieve to appeal to the Supreme Court. No surprise there. Governor Herbert and his AG know that same-sex marriage will be recognized across the US, but just not how or when, so it's kick the can down the road time. Something as fundamental to the human condition as marriage is the perfect 10th vs. 14th Amendment States' Rights vs. Equal Protection case. Loving v. Virginia (1967) was remarkably similar in concept, where constitutional prohibitions against interracial marriage were overturned. And that's the elephant in the room in all of these recent decisions. What's next? The face-saving phase, but of course! 'We gave it our all, for you dear voter! Now here's the bill.' Governor, isn't it time to throw in the towel, this fight doesn't get any prettier.

Cleveland , OH

@RockOn: "A child's greatest chance for success in life..."

If you want to allow marriage based on success, then upper-middle-class Asian couples would be the only ones able to marry and have children.

If, however, you look at the growing body of research that is finding two stable, committed parents are actually the best indicator of success – doesn't matter if they are two men, two women, or a man and a woman.

The cries of "the children…" ignores the thousands of children who are already being raised by same-sex couples.

And, in reality, marriage is about a host of legal protections, benefits, and rights that are enshrined in state and federal laws. Marriage, in Utah and other states, does not require procreation. It requires two adults, who are competent to consent, signing paperwork at the county courthouse. Laws about children are family law, not marriage Law.

Ken Sisler
Newmarket, Ontario

There is nothing in Utah law which allows same-sex marriages to take place. The only way this can happen if the law is changed. If I remember a few years ago, the people of Utah voted down allowing same-sex marriage. This is the current law-same sex marriage is not allowed in Utah.

Kearns, UT

I just got done reading an article on another news website about how Utah experiences a higher amount of domestic violence than average for the United States. Shouldn't that be something we should be focusing on to help families and children?

Salt Lake City, Utah

@ Ken: You seem to be behind on the story, In December, a Judge declared Utah's prohibition on same-sex marriage unconstitutional. He did not stay his ruling, which allowed same-sex marriages to take place until the US Supreme Court placed a hold a few days later.

The 10th Circuit Court of Appeals upheld the ruling of the lower court that Utah's prohibition on same-sex marriage violates the Federal Constitution. They left the stay in place pending Utah's appeal to SCOTUS.

So yes, the law was changed. Same-sex marriages were allowed. Same-sex couples were legally married and are now petitioning the Court to require Utah to recognize their marriages and give them benefits accordingly. The lower court ruled in favor of the couples. Utah is appealing the decision and asked for a stay on recognizing the relationships until all the appeals are completed. The 10th Circuit issued a temporary stay which will expire next week. Utah will ask SCOTUS for a stay pending completion of the appeal process. (This case is separate from the case challenging the prohibition on same-sex marriages.)

Two For Flinching
Salt Lake City, UT

@ Joan Watson

God also said don't eat shell fish, yet I don't see you petitioning Red Lobster....

Salt Lake City, Utah

@ Joan: "...let not man put asunder[]" is an argument against divorce, not against same-sex marriage.

@ Rock: What studies actually show is that children do best when raised by two loving, committed parents - the genders don't matter. Another thing studies have shown is that marriage creates stability and encourages couples to work through the hard times and stay together - regardless of the genders involved.

Same-sex couples are raising children. Prohibiting marriage to those couples will not suddenly put the children in situations where they are being raised by heterosexual, biological parents. If you truly want what is best for children, you will encourage their parents to marry - even if those parents are of the same gender.

(And yes, I realize that the children are not biologically related to both parents. That applies to most adoption and assistive reproduction technology situations. No difference here.)

The very conservative Heritage Foundation puts the chance of abuse by a step-parent at 33 times the risk of biological parents, and acknowledges that the risk goes down when the parent and step-parent are married, not just cohabiting. Not really an argument against marriage - same-sex or otherwise.

Understands Math
Lacey, WA

@meckofahess wrote: "If we hope to strengthen society we should identify and support those values that have served America well for over 200 years."

200 years ago, black people could still be owned as property, Native Americans were being cheated out of their lands, women had no rights to vote and virtually no legal standing, and in many places there were still property-owning requirements in order to vote.

I think our values today are several orders of magnitude better than the values of 200 years ago.

Starry starry night
Palm Springs , CA


As the Beatles sang in "the end"

"And in the end, the love you take
Is equal to the love you make"

Your "rare" 37 year loving marriage should allow you to celebrate the glory of love....instead your interpretation is that it should be limited to only certain people and denied to others...as though there is a finite amount of it and what there is must be hoarded.

Where is the enlightenment in that attitude? True love shines abundantly and infinitely and beautifully...it is limitless and that my friend is why our perseverance will win the day.

Love wins. Love is the most powerful force in the universe.

Give a little bit...give a little bit of your love ....

Wilf 55

What scares me is that, once same-sex marriage will be fully legal (and it will), a part of Utah's predominantly Mormon population will continue to abhor such marriages and predict apocalyptic outcomes. Some of the previous comments show it all too well. How immensely tragic it could thus continue to be for many of those same-sex couples, in particular if they have Mormon roots.

Look, however, at the most advanced Western countries that have had same-sex marriages for more than a decade: those couples, a tiny minority, just blend in like any other couple. Their children, if they have any, are regarded as any other child. Positive acceptance of diversity is the hallmark of a civil and thus "civilized" society.

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