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Comments about ‘Ask Angela: He keeps lying about his age’

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Published: Monday, June 30 2014 8:49 p.m. MDT

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george of the jungle
goshen, UT

Humility is the best defense from being humiliated.

george of the jungle
goshen, UT

Humility is more important than companionship. It's shows devotion to God.

LittleStream
Carson City, NV

I'm 69 so have had some experiences that this young woman has not had. But I have learned two profound things: first, if you are staying in a relationship because you think you can change him, that won't work. Second, if he will lie about trivial things, he will certainly lie about big things. He might make a good friend, however I don't think I have friends that lie to me. This would be a good time to cut your losses.

EnglishAlan
Rugeley, Staffs

If he can lie so easily about his age, what else is he lying about? I think that, although breaking up is hard, living with a liar will bring about more pain over a longer period.

Make sure you truly know this man before you commit to any marriage commitments. It is easier to get out of a celibate relationship than it is to get out of a marriage, especially one where children are born within the marriage. The pain you would feel then would be huge for you, but worse for these children.

dotGone
Puyallup, WA

Liars lie! Expect more dishonesty if you stay with him. Ugh! If a person can't be honest, what use is he? Ugh! If women would put up with less nonsense from men, men would behave better - all women across the board, across the world, have some standards!!! Women seem to put up with anything because they are so desperate to "nest"... and then men do what they know they can get away with - and then we complain? nope! Women with low standards have taught men they can still get what they want even if they are appallingly misbehaved.

chazkron
Salt Lake City, UT

Angela nailed this advice. Especially because he is actually 47.

Twin Lights
Louisville, KY

Sensitivity about age is one thing. Lying like this is another. There is the additional issue that he appears to be lying in order to date much younger. Not that age alone is necessarily the issue. But lying in order to date younger I think puts a negative spin on all of this.

David Lloyd-Jones
Toronto, 00

"My man" He keeps lying about his age?

Surely this is a misprint. Wasn't it "My man keep lyin' 'bout his age"?

To be serious about it: people who think of their partners as property to be possessed can't be expected to master grown-up English, and to edit what they say into normality is to disguise the seriousness of their problem.

-dlj.

Oh Really?
HERRIMAN, UT

There are way to many great guys out there to waste your time with questionable ones. Some are your age, some are older, none of them lie.

toosmartforyou
Farmington, UT

He's sensitive because he's older and not married. (And believe me, there's a lot of social pressure in the Church for men to get married earlier.) Has he been married before and hiding that, too? He should have said he was "older" and then you should have not pressed him about it until it mattered, if it does matter, but allowed him to respond truthfully. There's a big difference between 28 and 42. You could ask him which high school he attended and then check on what year he graduated, but that shouldn't really be necessary, should it?. Not telling the truth is problematic, as years ago I told my young son I caught in a lie, because after that you are caught no one will trust you again. He stopped it immediately. This guy, however, hasn't been caught enough. Maybe your giving him the heave-ho will help him decide a life of honesty is preferred. It's possible that this is a major reason he's single at this point in his life. I agree with Oh Really? on their point.

Dave Duncan
Orem, UT

If you entertain ANY thought of continuing this relationship (which you shouldn't) then PLEASE pay the $35 or so to at least do an online background check on him. That might be overkill in most situations, but certainly not in a case where someone has already lied to you more than once. But I agree with Angela and so many others. Cut your losses now, and find someone you can trust.

Philippine Bonita
Sammamish, WA

I have a relative who might match the description of this girl's beau. Except the story is a little different. When they started dating, she said that there was an age difference and that it did not bother her. My brother looks quite young so he asked her how old she thought he was. She ASSUMED he was about 27. She was in her mid 30's. She thought SHE was older than HE was and that did not bother her. When he told her she had it wrong and that HE was actually older than SHE was, now it was a problem for her. She didn't mind being 9 years older than he was, but she didn't like being 6 years younger than him. He never lied. She assumed.

ER in AF
Harare, Zimbabwe, 00

People who lie tend to lie. But some people have a single blind spot. Age. It can be a real touchy issue. He may have only this one real problem (OK, he has others, but don't we all-even dotgone).

Totality of the relationship. Lies don't stay covered. Give him some line, he will either lie about other things or you will find he is weird about age and that's it. If you like him, give him a shot. If you are already seeing other areas he is not entirely truthful, cut him loose.

About dotgone. As with many things in moderrn society, a guy doggin' on a woman is "wrong". Well, women are "right" and always the ones who need to be protected. "Men" are all "bad", if all "good" women banded together and held "men" to their high standard then "good" women" would be protected from "bad" men. It is a 25%/75% relationship. Sometimes it is the eoman's part to give 25% to give and sometimes it is the 75%. The same as for men. It is never an equal relationship. Someone has to sacrifice, sometimes its the guy and sometimes its the girl.

JonathanPDX
Portland, Oregon

Someone who is supposedly in an important relationship with you lies (no only once, but multiple times) about something as trivial as their age...this gives me pause to wonder what else they might be lying about.

Let go of your ego and take along, hard look at this person and how you want your relationship to work. Only you can decide if you're comfortable with deceit now and most likely in the future.

Brent T. Aurora CO
Aurora, CO

How hard would it be to look at this guy's driver's license or otherwise discover how old he is. Fudging a year or two might be tough to trace, but a gap this large would be tenuous to maintain. It's dumb thing for him to do, especially over an extended (dating) period of time). So yeah, if lies about something like this -- RUN!

djofraleigh
raleigh, NC

We like to see what we want to see, so our own eyes lie to us. Drop the liar, of course. Compare driver license pictures and check the age of the next guy, and address. When you meet someone in a social circle their long time friends will be a help on checking out the person. Beware of anyone without long time, or close friends.

name_withheld
Cedar Hills, UT

Lying about "random" things is a sign that there are much bigger lies as well. Some people are so accustomed to lying that they do it about things that don't even make sense to be lying about.

armbe
Las Vegas, NV

Run far, run fast, and don't look back!!!!!! This is probably not the first lie he has told you, and definitely won't be the last. There will ALWAYS be some really good reason why he just "had" to lie. Get away now!

MrNirom1
Portland, OR

It is not only men that do this.. Women do to. Lucky for me I was involved in the beginning stages of a relationship where we were texting alot. In her on line profile she stated she was 32. Later in a conversation.. she said she was 36. She even told me her birthday was on Sept 17th. Later.. when I questioned her age.. she said she was 34 and told me her birthday was Jan 1. Now.. had I not had all her texts recorded so I could actually go back and see what she said.. I would have probably not noticed.

I dropped her that same day.

I will not lie about my age.. or anything. If I am asked.. I will answer truthfully. If I can do it.. then I can expect the same from the person I am wanting to spend the rest of my life with.

Deliriousdd
Benicia, CA

I think if he would lie about his age, he will lie about other things too. I agree with Angela, opt for friendship instead. As Dr. Phil always says, "the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior"

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