Congratulations Tracey.It does boggle the mind, doesn't it?
You said it! We married on a shoe-string 40 years ago, and are likewise happy
and looking forward to celebrating our 100th anniversary in the hereafter. The
only thing that would have made our marriage better is for our friends to not
have pulled pranks with our car during the simple reception. That is a bad
custom that just won't go away.
The promotion of weddings as a self feeding frenzy is obscene. I keep telling
the kids to elope; we'll come too. The Dominican, or Varadero in Cuba.
Someplace like that.
If you have to pay for a wedding on credit, don't spend any more on it than
the cost of the wedding license and what ever you have to pay the official that
marries you. This shouldn't cost more than $100 total.
Why do people spend so much on weddings? I don't get $30-40,000 as the
average. Money better saved for a down payment for a house instead of bad debt.
Recently, a sibling of mine and I offered a mutual niece cash for a start up in
her forthcoming marriage. The amount was rather large, and would have made a
down payment on a home for her or served to pay off student loans. We did not
want this money to be used for an elaborate wedding, and placed that condition
on the money. We did not want our money wasted on a thousand dollar cake,
hundreds for one champagne toast, thousands for a one use dress and so on. (We
did offer some alternatives, but were turned down.)Big mistake.
This child became resentful, and as a consequence, does not wish her aunt and
uncle at her wedding. It seems that the desire to be queen for a day is more
important than a good start in life. She presumably will go into debt for her
party.I don't understand this mentality. Something is terribly
wrong in our society to place such emphasis on the trivialities of ceremony and
parties in a wedding.
Marriage is not about money. It is not about public acclaim. It is a union
decreed by God to be everlasting for the purpose of creating a family that is
eternal. Some reject eternal promises for temporary satisfaction. Many do not
understand that concept of marriage. Divorce has shown that many will dissolve
a marriage if "happiness" is not part of their every-day life. They
have no idea about commitment and sacrifice. They think only of themselves.
Many diminish themselves when they accept less than God's doctrine of
marriage. When done properly, the cost of "marriage" should be almost
nothing, but the importance of marriage should be inestimable.
Marriage: "It is a union decreed by God to be everlasting for the purpose of
creating a family that is eternal"Oh Mike Richards.That's what YOU say marriage is. Not only an expert on who
should be married and why, you've got a plan for how they should do it and
how they should feel about it. The moral certitude you bring to these threads
is, at least, consistent. People fall in love and want to shout it
from the rooftops! If that means a big party with a hundred-piece orchestra and
dancing elephants or Chinese delivery and a limbo contest at the community
center-- great! Grab a chicken kabob and hug the bride. Or brides! It's
their wedding. Share the love.
@ nycut,May I respectfully ask you to read, "The Family: A
Proclamation to the World"? As Amos told us, "Surely the Lord God will
do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets."
Just as God spoke to us through Adam, Noah, Moses and all the other prophets in
the Old Testament, through Peter, James, John and the other prophets of the New
Testament, He still speaks to the world through prophets today. You have the
opportunity to listen to them, to ponder God's message to His children
through them, and then to decide whether you will follow God or whether you
prefer to follow whatever else it is that pleases you.I have no
problem with people celebrating marriage. It is a ceremony that should be
celebrated. The fact that it CAN be the start of an eternal courtship that
lasts for eternity CAN make that day even more special.
Take a trip to Montana and see how a real wedding is done. Simple and loving
with the smell of the mountains. Extreme weddings are a huge waste
Pleasing friends and sometimes showing pride has made many to be involved in
debts in executing their marriage. At the end of the day they pay what they owe
and go hungry. Men should be anxiously engaged in observing those who have spent
much and decide what is good for them.