Comments about ‘In our opinion: Understanding adoption key to encouraging public support for this vital institution’

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Published: Sunday, June 22 2014 12:00 a.m. MDT

Updated: Tuesday, June 24 2014 11:21 p.m. MDT

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Lolly
Lehi, UT

This was a nice article. In the past those who decided to adopt out of Foster Care met with a lot of problems based on over zealous supervision by the state. That seems to have passed. These kids need and deserve the security of a good home.

The problem with keeping a child out of wedlock is the irresponsibility of the natural father which in many cases these days is due to the mother not allowing his involvement. But the larger problem is if the mother has no intention to be married either to the natural father or be married to someone else or is too immature, then the raising of the child will fall to grandparents. This is a huge responsibility in a person's twilight years.

The percentage of abortions is also disheartening since there are so many families who want and seek the opportunity to have a child in their home. This selfish act limits the opportunity to love and give security to unborn child.

For those who make correct choices, I applaud you. For those in the decision stage, please bless the lives of couples who are seeking and yearning to be parents.

10CC
Bountiful, UT

I was a single father, with custody, in the 80s.

In hindsight, I would not trade my experience of raising my daughter for anything. Certainly it changed the course of my life, and made me appreciate completely the work and sacrifices made by single moms as they raise their children.

Single parents - don't let *anyone* imply that you're less of a family because one of the parents is not in the household.

In their zeal to condemn immorality, social conservatives have inadvertently marginalized families where a parent has died, or circumstances where a marriage was terminally - and sometimes violently - dysfunctional.

More & more this social condemnation is becoming a thing of the past, which is good.

DGDENTON
Gainesville, TX

As a 72 year old adult adoptee, I have conflicting feelings about how we practice adoption. My source of conflict comes from sealed records. In 1979 I had to get a court order to get a copy of my original birth certificate [OBC]. This requirement is demeaning. My friends who are not adopted just have to write off for their OBC. I don't want to hear about the rights of birth mothers. It is just a concoction of the adoption agencies to continue operating in secrecy. The right to privacy for first mothers was never an issue until the US Supreme Court used it as the constitutional bedrock for abortion. Since then the pro-abortionist and the adoption agencies have loudly proclaimed privacy to keep first parents and adoptees apart. The right to privacy is the excuse both groups use to protect their financial interest. Having to choose among abortion, adoption, or keeping a child are all bad choices. First mothers have to choose the least worse option. More would choose adoption if they knew the adoptee could find them. Better yet, allow communication between the adoptee and the first parents through. This would do away with the conflict.

bookscape
Cleveland, TN

DGDenton, my heart goes out to you. There should be a way for an adopted individual to get their birth certificate. I do understand how a young mother giving up a child might have wanted complete privacy (with the stigma that was/is still sometimes attached to giving up one's child), but after a child is grown. Both parties, after that length of time, should be able to handle that kind of knowledge dissemination. I am so glad that the adoption process I witnessed was an open one where the mother chose the parents for the baby. All involved still email each other on occasion and are comfortable with it. God bless those in various agencies, like LDS Social Services and others like them who are there to help mothers, adoptive parents and the babies when these difficult decisions need to be made.

PriscillaSharp
State College, PA

The Difference Between Privacy, Anonymity, and Confidentiality in Adoption
Every mother has a right to "privacy," that is to say, please leave me alone, do not contact me. What she does not have is a right of "anonymity" from her own son or daughter, although this is "private" information for the individuals listed on the birth certificate to know, not the public.
The only "confidentiality" that mothers who relinquished babies to adoption were promised was that the birth would not be announced in the newspaper, or in the hospital admittance/discharge announcements (as they were routinely printed in every newspaper in every town in America) nor would her name appear in the court docket sheets posted at the courthouse for the public to see.
No judge, public office or private agency in this country is LEGALLY qualified to offer a promise of perpetual anonymity to anyone. Only the U.S. Department of Justice can do that through the Witness Protection Program, and that has to pass strict judicial approval.
Futhermore, it is scientifically impossible to guaranty anyone anonymity from their own offspring because the parents' identity is indelibly imprinted on their children's DNA.

DGDENTON
Gainesville, TX

The laws regarding sealing of original birth certificates and adoption files vary from state to state. The purpose of sealed records is two fold. It was designed to prevent adoptees from finding his/her birth family and to keep birth parents from finding the child. No one ever considered the privacy of birth mothers until adult adoptees started requesting their records. Privacy for the first mother only became an issue when adoption agencies were looking for legal reasons to keep the information from the adoptee. The abortion lobby's legal and social foundation is based on the right to privacy for birth mothers. They will never allow the slightest limitation or any inroads into undermining their cause. What may have stated out as a humanitarian effort is now a financial issue. The adoptee, birth parents and adopted parents have been manipulated by the system because it is profitable for the institutions.

OneWifeOnly
San Diego, CA

The article stated 40.7% of children are born out of wedlock, but did not break it down into age categories. There is a big difference between a responsible adult single parent and a teenager who has yet to complete her high school education. The economic challenges alone are so vastly different once the parent has obtained an education and employment skills.

As DGDENTON states “Having to choose among abortion, adoption, or keeping a child are all bad choices. First mothers have to choose the least worse option.”

I wish DN News and other newspapers would devote more column space toward the discussions of why these three choices are so difficult instead of putting so much energy into the nearly daily articles about same sex marriage, politics (Mitt Romney), and more recently LDS disciplinary counsels. However, to speak to the latter (and not defending Kate Kelly), it is, in fact, very difficult for a young female teenager to face an all-male disciplinary counsel at a time when she is also evaluating the relative merits of three bad choices. A female in the room might help some of these young women choose adoption.

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