HeHeHeVery Funny Article!Best Line: "Bring his talents to South
If I were looking to persuade LeBron, I'd have to include a bit about how
coming to Utah would not only cement his legacy, but rehabilitate his image -
and would certainly NOT suggest that he repeat the PR disaster. By LeBron going
to a small market team, especially Utah, he would forever shed the false notion
that LeBron is all about LeBron. LeBron is one of the most unselfish players in
basketball history, and would be a perfect fit for Utah.
@nhatch82Only thing is Utah went to the Western Conference Finals
when they had a healthy Boozer Memo and especially a healthy AK and D-Will, just
that they lost to SA the same team Lebron lost to in the finals, that year.
Ok. I will take up @Picardy on the challenge! :)Dear King James,What is the fun in being a lowly King? Here is your chance of becoming an
emperor. Yes, come to the Jazz and win with no princely sidekicks and you will
be named Emperor James henceforth. Think about it. Your name starts with J and
so does our team! If that isn't destiny I do not know what is. Just say
yes, and we will even fire our new coach. You could practice when you wish and
call what plays you want on the court. (*Pssst* call your own number every
time). We will have promotions like a free taco for every basket, pizza for
every block and a dozen Dunkin Donuts for every dunk you make! Your
contributions will be fueling our economy.There is no need for "The
decision", just come over and like the life of an Emperor as a JJ or Jazzy
And phoenix we want lebron not kevin shoots 30 shots a night durant.
Great piece. Thanks
It would never happen, but we can dream, can't we. LOL
@ Logan:I believe the list that the Utah Jazz is on for LeBron James
is somewhere in his "Top-30 Not-so-Short List". And that's a
fact... even though he wasn't available to personally talk to.!
Thanks, Copacetic... but seriously, LeBron can stay right where he is for all I
care, especially if the heat cramps him up. He'd be nonfunctional outside
today in Phx, that's for sure. So as for him with the Suns: Fuggedaboudit.
As for him with the Jazz: A hundred times fuggedaboudit. As for the
"humor," sorry, Copa, bud, gotta be real about this, but it'd never
even occur to me to write a silly pointless letter like this one. I mean, why
even start? Why LeBron in Utah? Kinda like LeBron on Mars? But looks like
Nate's gotta fill space on a slow news day and apparently he's
hilarious, somehow. So, at least the DN gets a few chuckles from some readers
and a handful of comments out of it all. Guess it works for somebody. Just not
Hilarious? Was this meant to be humorous? I talked with LeBron yesterday and The
Jazz are on his short list. He asked me not to name names because he hasn't
told Pat yet, but the The Jazz are definitely in his top 25. (His Canadian
isn't too good, so they're out)
@ Well...It's dry, playful sarcasm. Nothing more, nothing
less.People either get it or they don't. Either way, it's
something hard to explain.Neither the author nor the Jazz are making
a push to get LeBron (or Durant) here... perfect fit or not. It
shouldn't be that difficult to understand that this article was simply
written for its entertainment value. That's all.If you really want
James in Arizona, then write your own SERIOUS letter... not a spoof. Good luck
Hm. Some see more humor in this than I do. Starting off with the world's
cheesiest, eye-rolling and frankly stupid pickup line seems like The Daily
Universe or Chrony, for one thing. Anyway, three points: 1) It's written as
a straight-up piece, not satire; would someone please explain just why this
article is actually FUNNY? 2) If LeBron's going anywhere, he'll fit in
with the SUNS much better than the Jazz, and win trophies much sooner. Assuming
he can stay out of the summer heat, wink, wink. 3) If the DesNews must dream
about bringing in a top-of-the-line proven can't-miss veteran superstar
prospect who'd not only fit right in but change the fortunes of the
franchise overnight, Nate Gagon just dissed the wrong guy. The Jazz want Kevin
Durant, not King James. As in NOW. Only a dream, but Kevin's the ideal fit
for Utah. Nate, look forward to your rewrite.
@ Brave Sir robin:Are there really some readers out there so slow
that they can't see and understand the obvious humor element in this
totally sarcastic article?Unbelievable!This article wins my very
coveted "Funniest Article of the Week Award". Well done.A
commenter on this board wins my Slowest Reader of the Month Award... But
I'm not going to name names.
This wasn't funny, it was ridiculous. Just remember the "King"
stomping off after being beaten by the lowly JAZZ. Or remember him on the bench
with a quick CU of his bloodshot eyes game 4 of the finals. Or remember his big
celebration leaving Cleveland. "King" ha!
Nate,Veiled as well as not-so-veiled sarcasm.Perfect.
Great comic relief! I loved this wonderfully playful humor. Those that
didn't get it need to reread the article! Whining? Begging? Hardly! But
thank you for adding to the humor of the piece. It is hilarious to think that
there are people out there who would contort such a whimsical article into a
reason for dopey disdain! Life is short. Go take a walk. Go to the zoo. Go
buy a dog. Go write a funnier letter to Lebron (if you can)!
@Truth in all its forms"We shouldn't beg for a player. We
should build a solid team and have a decent coach that is what wins
championships."how has that worked for us? I definitely
wouldn't want the best player in the world to come play for the jazz! lets
keep signing boozers and memos and lose in the first round of the playoffs.
I thought this was hilarious but I guess some folks just don't have a sense
of humor! Most likely LeBron will never ever consider coming to Utah but I
still enjoyed the article and laughed so hard it made my stomach hurt. And btw,
I too would welcome such news if it ever happen. I think it'd be great for
the Jazz. And no, the Jazz are not being whiny at all, but are indeed very
needy of such talents as King James.As per the cheap shot about
Coach Mendenhall begging the Big 12, I don't recall him ever doing that
other than expressing a very personal opinion about BYU joining the Big 12,
Come on Deseret news you're better than this. We shouldn't beg for a
player. We should build a solid team and have a decent coach that is what wins
good humor. BUT King James' ego is TOO big for any team. Let him play into
retirement in someone else's city.
This was a masterpiece!!! I haven't laughed so hard in a long time! LOVED
I needed a good laugh. Thanks!
I agree with BlameItOnTheOfficials! Leave the endless Utah/BYU stuff out of
other subjects. This may be the funniest sports article I have ever read.
Can we afford to pay him $35 million per year? Would that attract him?
Brave Sir.. Please don't bring the Utah/BYU rivalry into a
forum about the Jazz. That would be classless. I loved this piece.
It was a bright spot in my day and has left me smiling. And if my the
strangest of odds, LeBron did ever join the Jazz, I wouldn't be sorry at
Sir Robin - lighten up. This was a jovial piece that I laughed all through. This
isn't whining, it's playing. Bronco wasn't whining, he was making
a pitch. Smile, breathe, and enjoy the ride.
As much as people don't like him, if he was on a team you supported you
would cheer for him. I kinda feel that if players want to truly be the best,
they should go to teams that struggle or smaller markets and prove you can win
It's not going to happen and I'm not so sure I would want it to.