Absent a religious conviction that marriage is honorable, what exactly is the
incentive for a modern man to get married? Chivalry is dead --
killed as a relic of patriarchal privilege. It's no longer the case that
marriage and fatherhood is viewed as an integral part of entering full and
honorable manhood. It's simply one more lifestyle choice -- one that
exposes you to significant legal and financial risks, without necessarily
commensurate benefits that can't be obtained elsewhere.A
Gen-Xer, I got lucky to win and be won by one splendid woman in a million. But
both of us wholeheartedly agree that, among the rest of the million
(propagandized with an absurd view of how the sexes relate) are many whom no man
should touch with a ten-foot pole. If that isn't a scarily patriarchally
violent image, which I'm sure some screecher is in the process of typing
"Millennials": another word for "non committed".
Chicken header. A person working part time grosses $600 a month on
minimum wage. $1200 for full time work per month. I'd say they were very
lucky to find someone to give them extra hours in the summer and pay them so
well. For most the math doesn't add up. State college tuition
is between 6K and 12K a year. That is gross minimum wage working full time and
leavin nothing else.
Truth, those "older people" (is that a disease?) have children who are
Millennial's. That gives them insights into a problem they are watching
from the vantage point of perspective, wisdom, and experience. A problem that
they care about very much. It would be ignorant to discount, ignore, or exclude
what they have to say.
I find it interesting that you have older people who are not in this generation
discussing why a millennial would do something. It should be told from that
generations view point not an older generation.
Wraith I respectfully disagree. My sons work each summer and by working both a
full time job and part time job earn $6000-$7000 (net) during the summer which
is enough to pay for tuition and books at most in-state colleges. They work
part-time during the school year to pay for living expenses. There is a
confidence and self-assurance that they learn when they realize that through
really hard work, they can pay for college, while taking out no or minimal loans
and I think is a lesson that translates well to their future employment and
family life. I think we sometimes cripple our children by doing too much for
them, both as parents and as a society.
I want to echo what Chris B said and add to it a bit if I can. More individuals
are going to college now that at any other time. That adds another major strain
on money, especially if both parties in the marriage are trying to finish
college. In the 1960's it was fairly easy to work for the summer and earn
enough to pay for tuition and books for the year. That is no longer a
possibility. For many, delaying marriage until after graduation is the only
Lack of social skills, lack of romance or anticipation, kinda like soiling
I know of a number of millennial couples who refuse to get married until
marriage equality is achieved. It is a matter of principle to them.
My grandparents were badly scarred by the Great Depression. The Millennials are
the generation most scarred by the Great Recession. As Chris B
astutely observed, it used to be that working hard would give you solid economic
security. It used to be that any college degree would get you in the door for
an entry level position in corporate America, and you could have a solid career
if you didn't go off the deep end and punch somebody at work, or develop a
drug or alcohol problem. That's not anywhere close to being
enough anymore.Too many Millennials have seen their parents - or
their friends' parents - who worked hard and played by the rules, become
economic casualties in the ongoing quest for greater corporate profit. There is
no such thing as economic security. If you think you have it, you're
delusional... or the child of a Billionaire.
I think that "Serious" also has some what of a point. In 1950, if you
had a child out of wedlock, you got married. Now, not so much. What is legal
marriage beyond a piece of paper really? (Okay, bad can of worms to open,
but....) Back a few decades ago we had people get married younger because
earning a living at 18 was easier and it was the only real accepted social way
to "have children" We still have just as many people, I would say, in
relationships, just not as many of them have a paper to say it.
They aren't getting married because of money? Unless one is living in
their parents basement for free, getting married either takes less money to live
or not that much more.
My 3 children are all millenials. They are all 3 college graduates and are
starting their careers. They have many friends and like to socialize. They are
travelling. They are living on their own. They are enjoying their
independence.They hope that marriage will be a one and done; they
plan on marrying for life. They are not ready to do that yet. They are not yet
ready to make that commitment. They have other things to do.I think
millenials want to enjoy a part of life they know they can't experience
once they are married. Right now, they can be selfish. And that's a good
I think that a reason for younger generations not getting married is money. But
it is not necessarily the greed of money, but more the lack thereof. In the
1960s, I could get a job paying pretty good money by just being a hard worker.
To get an equivalent job today, I need 4-8 more years of school, all the while
avoiding student debt. We are not working with a 1960s white man heavy economy
As a "Millenial" (26) who is unmarried, believe me when I say that money
is not the issue. I have a salaried job. This is not the case with everyone of
course, but I think that the real reason why millenials are unmarried is
unknown. There are millions of reasons. None of them is statistically
significant over the others per se. Maybe the overarching reason:
they have not found the person they want to marry and have that person agree
that they want to also marry them. Marriage has become much more mutual than it
was before. A woman has so much more to (rightly so) consider.
Hogwash!They delay marriage because so many of them have no problem living
together outside of marriage.
@no fit in SGAgreed, one toxic relationship can convince anyone
close enough to view it to hedge their bets and tepidly approach relationships,
often at the expense of a willingness to marry. It's not a bad thing as
some might suggest, just an understandable response to experience. Marriage used to provide its own economic and cultural incentives several
generations ago, but no longer provides any substantial benefit to a
couple's life unless happiness is somehow built on sharing assets and
reaping available tax breaks. One thing the older generation can do to alleviate
negative consequences of the shifting dynamics is avoid scolding young people
for their choices, especially if those choices are based on thorough
consideration. But, to ask the spoiled boomer generation to quit their seemingly
favorite pasttime might be too much.
Marriage improves your economic stability. 2 incomes with close to the same
living expenses. Assuming you buck the trend of ridiculously overpriced weddings
I don't see why money should keep you from getting married. Having children
on the other hand might be a different story.
So many young adults have seen unhappy and unsuccessful attempts at marriage.Just ask your own children and grandchildren. They will give you numerous
examples of friends and relatives who made the wrong choice for a husband or
wife.They know they have enough money to make for a comfortable family
life.What they don't know is how they would survive the breakup of
their marriage. It is simply too frightening a possibility for them.