Ranch - I would argue that most heterosexual couples plan their
families also. We did, as well as most couples I know.My point was
that the same problems can exist between same-sex partners as those that exist
between opposite sex partners. To allude otherwise is deceptive.
I have to agree with the poster who suggested that the dad did all he could to
see to his child's needs with what little he had, and not the money or help
with child care to do better. I might add that he may not have the support
system to help, either. Not everyone has family nearby, or anyone willing or
able to help. Some find that we're left with fair weather friends when they
need people the most and have the fewest resources to do things on their own.
Sad to have that be the case when a child is involved, but many elderly people
fall through those cracks, too. These days, when so many seem to think that
asking for help is the worst kind of weakness, many who really need it are
loathe to ask if they can find a way around it. That may be what is happening
here. Let's not judge this man unless we have walked in his shoes.
@RedWings;Sir, we actually have to PLAN our families, and
Quaker's comment is quite appropriate. The DN constantly runs articles
against same-sex couples raising children and marrying; and here we have, yet
another, opposite-sex parent abusing their child.
future president, I know any number of people who were abused by a parent where
the neighbors turned a blind eye. Didn't want to make trouble, you see.
Ms. magazine once printed a letter from a woman who confided to a neighbor that
her mother was molesting her---the neighbor was horrified and told the child
that she must be mistaken because "your mother loves you--she would never do
such a thing".Far better to err on the side of the child's
safety than worrying about having the parent mad at you.
people should be careful about calling the cops on their neighbors. Most of the
time it gives the whistle blower a bad name, and nobody wants to be friends with
a whistle blower. Luckily this time it turned out ok, but still one needs to be
absolutely sure about something before they call the police.
I believe we may be jumping the gun on this one. Either way, the child should
not be chained to a bed. I wonder where the mother is. I wonder where the
extended family is. I would hope that there would be someone in this man's
family to help out while he works to support his child. For some reason, this
boy was living with his father. So either the mom is not in his life, is
deceased or some other extenuating circumstance. It is not mine to judge. I feel
bad for this man and this boy. I am hoping that we find out more details and
when we do, I am hoping that we STILL DON'T JUDGE whoever is to blame too
harshly. Heaven knows that this situation may only get worse as we learn the
Quaker:Not everything is about same-sex marriage...Are
you implying that same-sex couples do not abuse children? I highy doubt that is
the case. There is still spousal and child abuse in gay couples. I have seen
spousal abuse in a gay relationship myself.The fact that there are
far fewer gay couples is likely the reason for the absence of abuse reports,
along with the simple fact that most spouse and child abuse if unreported.
@littlestreamif there were such a requirement from Heavenly Father, none
of us would have any children!very sad situation, but we don't
know all the facts. clearly the person who chained the child was not trying to
hurt him. my guess is that they are scrapping to get by. cannot afford child
care. and left the child there with his basic needs being met so the parent can
get to work without worrying about the child. not great, but i sincerely believe
that the best solution is to help the parent, not just take the child away.
very few "abusive" parents are like that because they WANT to be. they
may need our love and guidance as much as their child does. (maybe he came from
an even more difficult situation)let's judge less and help
@ Little StreamDon't blame Heavenly Father for a thing like this. We
all have our free agency - Instead, let's thank Heavenly Father that the
child has been found and ask for blessings to be poured out on the little guy
and those who found him, along with his new caregivers. I'm sure Heavenly
Father has been aware of the child, and has been protecting him from worse harm.
I agree that we should learn to be good parents before we are one.
That's what those Jr. High fake baby classes are all about.
Here we are, faced with two conflicting news narratives this year in the Deseret
News.On the one hand, we've had a stream of real horror stories
about the abuse, neglect, or homicide of children involving one or both parents.
I've lost count of which number this one is.On the other hand,
we've had a plethora of news stories about Utah's fight for
traditional marriage, supported by the State's filings (and breathless
commenters), decrying the "horror" of letting those children currently
being raised in same-sex households having their parents be allowed to marry.
Or even co-adopt them.Yet, so far, this year, none of the former
stories have had anything to do with the latter. Children's
welfare should come first, and these stories either tell us that you can't
simply bank on a particular gender combination of parents being some panacea, or
it tells us that certain "traditional" couples are actually worse at
This is one of those times that you have to wonder why there isn't a
requirement by Heavenly Father that we know how to be good parents before we
become one. Our children pay so badly when they are mistreated. My own
granddaughter who is 18 and has Asperger's syndrome is afraid of the dark
because her mother put her in the closet as punishment on a visitation years
ago. Dad must have been trying to save babysitting money. Didn't the
little boy go to school? So glad the neighbors came forward. Many times
neighbors and schools don't want to get involved and the child dies, or
continues to be abused. My prayers are with this little boy! Wonder what
he'll get his dad for father's day. Amazingly, these kids still love
the abusing parent! The parents are blessed and they don't even know it.
I would take the child, and give him all the love he can handle. I believe we
should protect our children and that this should be paramount.