Comments about ‘Conference seeks to help Mormons with same-sex attraction who want to keep the faith’

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Published: Sunday, June 1 2014 5:42 p.m. MDT

Updated: Sunday, June 1 2014 5:42 p.m. MDT

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rondonaghe
Mesilla/USA, NM

It was quite obvious at the outset of this article that "harmony" within the church and having same-sex attractions only offers the gay person one true option: be celibate. After forty years of the ex-gay groups it finally came down to that as well. They first promised a person could change his orientation and become heterosexual; then they admitted that same-sex attraction didn't go away, you just buried it deep, and when these groups finally began to admit the real truth of the matter, they were a failure—and yet such groups continue, and it appears that the LDS has picked up the banner. You can't change who you're attracted to, but what you can do is deny that aspect of yourself, so you'll be acceptable to the LDS, and they will just love you for it. Amen. Live happily ever after...right?

Wilf 55
SALT LAKE CITY, UT

It will take some time, but one other option is to adapt some Church teachings so that those who opt for a stable same-sex relation through legal marriage can still be welcomed as members in good standing. The Church already faces this situation in countries were same-sex marriage is legal.

Oh Really?
HERRIMAN, UT

rondonaghe, I encourage you and others to google Josh Weed and his blog "the weed," particularly the post, "Club Unicorn: In which I come out of the closet on our ten year anniversary," where he says,

"This is the post where I tell you that I, Josh Weed, am homosexual. ... And that I'm very happily married to a woman, and have been for ten years now."

Just because you don't know anyone who is gay-attracted but lives a happy life not living a gay lifestyle, doesn't mean they don't exist. Many people who are "gay" but living happy, straight lives, don't come "out" because they don't want to be put in a fishbowl, gawked at or derided by people of every different opinion and persuasion.

the truth
Holladay, UT

@rondonaghe

IF you have an eternal view of things and not just a temporal view,

then you most certainly will live happily ever after.

Did not Jesus himself say not all will marry in this life? What do think he was referring too?

While there is no known cause of homosexuality, religiously and spiritually we can look at it as a test and challenge.

We all have our individual trials and tribulations. It is all about bearing, overcoming, and enduring to the end, not about pursuing personal fleeting gratification in a temporal life.

Don't lose the eternal view.

Ranch
Here, UT

It isn't worth it. Not in the least. Trying to stay in the church was the worst thing in my life and the LDS church doesn't really make you feel welcome if you're gay. They only make you feel worse about yourself: "Why aren't you married"? "Why aren't you dating?"

Best thing I ever did in my life was to accept who I am, AS I AM and leave the LDS church behind.

G-Day-M8
WVC, UT

I see no difference respecting same gender and opposite gender attraction relative to living a clean and virtuous life as expected by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I believe from what I have read in this article that North Star is a great organization with a desire to help people follow the commandments of God as they understand them in the church.

As a heterosexual member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I am under no different set of moral obligations of my choosing than one who has same gender attraction. I am free to choose my course of action but I understand, having covenanted at baptism and other times in my life from a young age, that if I break or dishonor those covenants, I am left without excuse.

I have a right, I guess, to challenge the doctrine of the church but I also have no expectation that I will prevail no matter how much I might contend that the Church should change its prescribed course. I am free to stay and honor the covenants made or leave if I feel the church has left me behind.

truth in all its forms
henderson, NV

I am glad that the church teaches the true way to happiness. And that is only a marriage between a man and a woman can possibly bring happiness. If you want to be gay that is okay you will just have to be single for the rest of your life. Just remember wickedness never was happiness. That is why people that are living that immoral lifestyle can never be truly happy. I am so grateful the church had this important conference to remind people struggling with same sex attraction the only way to be happy.

equal protection
Cedar, UT

Yet in fairness and accuracy we must evaluate another religious proclamation on same gender attraction. How do you determine which one is correct and is based upon special access to moral truth for which no other religion is privy?

"LGBT men and young women will continue to be vulnerable to the sins of homophobia and heterosexism, to the violence of hate and fear until we in the church can say to homosexuals now what it has said to heterosexuals for 2,000 years. Your sexuality is good. The church not only accepts it. The church celebrates it and rejoices in it. God loves you as you are, and the church can do no less." -2014 Episcopal Proclamation from the national cathedral.

Tiago
Seattle, WA

North Star is not for everyone and they realize that. For gay people who are comitted to following LDS standards of chastity and in mixed orientation marriages or single and celibate, it is a great network and community of support. The Voices of Hope videos are a good introduction for LDS people who experience or know someone who experiences SSA to realize they are not alone and begin to get over some of the stereotypes and misconceptions that can break down productive dialogue.
Congratulations to North Star leadership for pulling the conference off and being a part of this important conversation.

equal protection
Cedar, UT

A differing, but equally important religious message, trying to figure out how to get it approved by the moderators... ugh...

"LGBT men and young women will continue to be vulnerable to the sins of homophobia and heterosexism, to the violence of hate and fear until we in the church can say to homosexuals now what it has said to heterosexuals for 2,000 years. Your sexuality is good. The church not only accepts it. The church celebrates it and rejoices in it. God loves you as you are, and the church can do no less."

Liberty For All
Cedar, UT

Not all change options work for everyone. The treatment plan has to individualized to ones biological and psychological makeup. For example, There are hormonal options that work for many others Depo Provera has recently been used to control same sex attraction, for those that find these desires unacceptable and incongruent.

A Quaker
Brooklyn, NY

The true solution couldn't be simpler. If you're gay, and you can accept the fact that you are still a person of worth, that your heart is pure, that you can matter to the world and have much to offer, that God loves you and made you the way you are, and instilled you with the same touch of Light that He gives us all...

Then the problem is not you. It's those who criticize you, seek to restrict you, ostracize you, or encourage you to suppress yourself.

I don't see why you have to find some "compromise" that you can survive in your religious community. Religious denominations are a dime a dozen. If spirituality is important to you, why not find a path that's compatible with who you are, that can accept you for yourself? One that sees the Light in you and the love in your heart, and doesn't worry about your orientation?

The only reason to stay in an unwelcoming, unaccepting denomination that condemns you is if you hate yourself.

Read Romans 14. It explains why OT laws are irrelevant to real Christians. Verse 14 summarizes it.

Ranch
Here, UT

This organization and others like it continue to perpetuate the message to LGBT people that "you're broken". That is such an evil message. Why not teach LGBT people that they're wonderful, perfect and good just as they are? That is the message that needs repeating.

greatbam22
andrews afb, MD

"Yet in fairness and accuracy we must evaluate another religious proclamation on same gender attraction. How do you determine which one is correct and is based upon special access to moral truth for which no other religion is privy?"

Didn't the Israelites in the bible have special access to moral truth that others didn't?

Look at the story of Daniel for example. He had special access to dietary information that was not congruent for the circumstances that he was placed in.

Just because SSM and homosexuality has become acceptable to man does not mean it has become acceptable to God even though some religious groups have accepted it.

"After World War I, a rather risqué song became popular. In promoting immorality, it vowed that 50 million people cannot be wrong. But in fact, 50 million people can be wrong—totally wrong. Immorality is still immorality in the eyes of God, who one day will judge all of our deeds and desires." - Russell M. Nelson

patriot
Cedar Hills, UT

the best thing someone having same sex attraction issues can do is to seek help - seek counseling and find a program to point you in a healthy direction. The sad and confusing world of homosexuality brings only sadness and disapointment regardless of what nonsense the PC culture of the day tries to suggest. Families are broken apart and relationships are shattered not to mention the terrible and frightening health issues such as AIDS that are introducted.

Tiago
Seattle, WA

@Oh Really?
Josh Weed's blog is great and people should read it, but I hope we don't think because he is a gay and married a woman that is the right thing for everyone. I'm gay and celibate. Also not right for everyone. In Josh's blog he made this very clear, he said
"I want to make it very clear that while I have found a path that brings me profound joy and that is the right path for me, I don’t endorse this as the only path for somebody who is gay and religious. I will never, ever judge somebody else’s path as being “incorrect” and I know many people who have chosen different paths than myself."

gittalopctbi
Glendale, AZ

@equal protection, you say, "How do you determine which one is correct and is based upon special access to moral truth for which no other religion is privy?"

Yes, that is the crux of the whole matter, isn't it? We in the LDS church proclaim that this church is the one that the Lord speaks through. Pretty bold statement, I know. But I also know that it is true. But back to your question...If you find that answer to it, then you have this and other puzzles solved!

Rustymommy
Clovis, NM

There seems to be some hostility about this conference. Nobody was forced to attend. Nor was it intended to meet the needs of everybody. If it doesn't interest you, then just don't attend. Better yet, start your own conference.

There also seems to be some hostility toward the LDS church. It is not the responsibility of any organized religion to change its defined views to accommodate yours. But, it is your right to look for a church that reflects your views, to start your own church, or to belong to no church at all.

Wherever you happen to fall on the spectrum of sexual or religious views, the Golden Rule is still useful in real life. Try to be as gracious and tolerant of people who don't share your views as you want them to be gracious and tolerant of your views. It would be ideal if love and compassion could flow both directions even if perspectives on critical issues do not always align.

aceroinox
Farmington, UT

@Ranch--
If you believe the message of North Star or the LDS Church is that those with same sex attraction are "broken", you need to do a little more research. The real message of both is that we all have struggles. We don't get to chooses those struggles, but we can choose how to respond to them. Challenges in life give us an opportunity to draw closer to God as we seek His help to conform ourselves to his will. That process is a very individualized process, because that is how our Heavenly Father views each of us: as beloved spirit sons and daughters whom He invites back into His presence and offers His guidance on how to return. The key is "invites" and "offers". There is no compulsion in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Bottom line: those with SSA are no more "broken" than someone with a different challenge in life. Although each of us may feel like our burden is more difficult than our neighbor's, we each have an equal opportunity for happiness as we seek God's help in overcoming that challenge and grow in the process.

justpatti
Oceanside, CA

Let's be clear about a few things.
Homosexuality is not a choice.
If you are heterosexual, did you choose it? Of course not.
No one would choose to be gay or lesbian, not in this country, certainly not in this culture/Church.
The issue isn't (or shouldn't be) orientation. The issue is about behavior. Everyone deserves to love and be loved at the most intimate level. If the "standard" is no sex before marriage, then it applies to everyone. THAT's the message that needs to continue to be taught to youth.
There is a reason that these so-called therapies are now illegal in a number of states: they are barbaric and ineffective.

Consenting adults are just that, and should be allowed to be just that: consenting and able to marry.

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