I disagree. Perfect mothers are everywhere. I think society has a false
perception on what is a perfect mother. I think a perfect mother is one that has
breakdowns, that has a tough time with life, that can't do it all. These
are the mothers that show us and teach us what life really is. Mothers who put
on a face that everything is perfect all the time are not helping their children
(in my opinion). Children need to be raised knowing that mom and dad had a tough
time paying bills, that it was not always easy to go to church, but they did it
anyway. That work sometimes was not fun, that sometimes, we can't make it
to everything, and we have to prioritize. Children need to be raised knowing
that sometimes life will be very hard, and sometimes it will be great. Perfect
mothers are the ones who are themselves, and make mistakes-because we all will,
and who better to be the example than our mothers?
Most of us feel uncomfortable with all fuss on Mother's Day and feel like
we just don't measure up. But we need not. We start the job not knowing
much about it - we dive in, and sometimes feel like we are drowning. I
personally felt like an avalanche had hit me with 4 children 4 and under! But I
loved them with all my heart and I did the best I could with what I knew at the
time - that's all we can do. No one has perfect parents, and no one is a
perfect parent. But it's the most wonderful beautiful learning process in
life! Nothing can hurt more and nothing can bring such joy. We lost our
youngest (at 31) to breast cancer last April. Yhat was another learning
experience - that's what this life is about learning and growing and caring
for one another! God bless all you mothers out there, including my own dear Mom
who has been deaf all her life, and my daughters who are mothers now, too!
Julie gluten free mother:You sound like a great Mom to me. The perfect
mom, like a perfect dad or a perfect anyone, is an illusion. You are hanging in
there with six kids? You have my unbridled admiration. Keep up the good work and
know when they are talking about great moms they are talking about you!
This life is hard and our abilities to meet the challenges of motherhood are
limited. I used to think this was a mistake and somehow God had erred in His
arrangement of this life. I mean, why would a perfect being send his most
precious children to a flawed and limited parent? It wasn't until years
that later I came to understand that it was by design. If there were nothing to
forgive, tollerate, overlook, over come, let go and improve on where would the
growth be - mine or my children's? We are not perfect mothers
but we are not perfect failures either and focusing on what we have done right,
although imperfectly, is great. Moms, allow yourself to enjoy your sugar
cookie/chocolates/potted plant/book, Primary children's songs and poems.
For one day out of the year we can let go of the guilt.
I think we need to remember that Mother’s Day is difficult for many women.
As we honor mother’s remember that there are those both married and
single sitting in the Church meeting – or sitting at home – for whom
this day reminds them of their unfulfilled dreams of motherhood. One of the
earliest comments reflected the theme “I wasn’t a prefect mother but
my kids turned out fine.” But there are also many who had the blessing of
motherhood for whom things did not turn out fine. Mother’s day reminds
them of a child that they lost – through miscarriage – through
cancer- through adoption- through rebellion – through drug addiction---
through suicide. My challenge is for you to reach out to at least one such
woman this Mother’s Day.
Whenever I hear about mothers who hate Mother's Day, (and I know a few of
them!) it makes me sad. Mother's Day isn't about celebrating the
perfect mom, since as other commenters have pointed out, there is no such thing.
Nor is it about making women feel guilty about their failings and shortcomings.
To me, Mother's Day is about being thankful - thankful for our own
mothers; for the opportunity and blessing and challenge it is to be a mother;
and to those women who have no children, for the help and support so many of
them give to the mothers & children they know. Mothering is not the sole
domain of women who bear children, in my opinion. I know wonderful, childless
women who have helped me mother my children - in school, in church, in sports.
So, when it comes to Mother's Day, I think that being a mother can be the
most difficult, thankless job in existence, and I'm grateful there is one
day a year to celebrate those who are willing to shoulder that burden - in all
their glorious imperfection!
Dear Julie,I wrote you a poem that I placed on my blog "The Funeral
Directors Daughter" I can't post the link in this comment but if you
google search it or look up the page on facebook you should get a link to it.If it doesn't work I'll try posting it on here later.
Julie, I hope you take this in the spirit it is meant. My mother was perfect.
She had her problems, but I didn't see them, my mother was perfect. She
burnt meals sometimes, but my mother was perfect. She didn't always let me
do what I wanted to do, but my mother was perfect. To your children, thier
mother is perfect.Only to a mother is that mother not perfect, to
her children she is perfect.Why do you think the MOM is the number
one tatoo. Because our mothers are perfect.That is what
mother's day is all about. Children telling their mothers how much they
love them.Try to think of yourself as a work in progress and know
that your children love you.Happy Mother's Day to all those
"perfect (see above)" Mothers. We love you.
Julie, my mother wasn't perfect. She had a seriously sick child. At one
time she had to take me to physical therapy (polio), visit my little brother in
the hospital (terminal liver disease), and my dad in another hospital and leave
a 2-year old in the playpen while she did all this. She didn't have a car,
and her in-laws, a few houses further down the street, refused to help. I have
seen her tears and her struggles. I've wet my pants, because my mom
wasn't home after school. My mother isn't perfect, but I saw her
struggles, how she failed and how she grew, and I wanted to be just like her.
When I myself had a sick child (2 kidney transplants so far), I would always
think of my mother, how she dealt with her problems. I have failed, I've
grown, just like my mother. And my children are learning from me, the same as
your children are learning from you. We're not expected to be perfect in
this life, we're supposed to love our children, and teach them how to grow
and struggle. Best of luck to you.
Julie Gluten Free Mom, I think you are missing the point. We as mothers
constantly notice our mistakes and flaws. We do not need to be reminded of them.
There is no such thing as the perfect mother, because no one is perfect. The
point of the video was to show how mothers are amazing creatures. We are
constantly worrying, "Am I doing enough?" Of course everyone knows that
we all make mistakes, but it is ok to be reminded, that we also succeed. You had
a sick child, a mothers worst nightmare. I'm so sorry you had to go through
that. You are obviously a very strong mother, as well as a wonderful one.
Don't let your defeats become your focus.
I really appreciate this video today! Moms are the best, just because they are
our moms! No matter the circumstances or how imperfect they are. They are
"Our Moms". They try to do the best they know how. I truly believe that.
I'm so grateful for a day to celebrate all kinds of moms. They are the
nurturers that God sent to his children. Thank You God for Moms!
I just wish this video had also shown that moms can't always be there, that
moms sometimes make mistakes. Mothers Day brings out the wonderful warm stories
of great moms. I tried to be a good mom but it wasn't always possible,
sometimes things didn't get done. I had a child with major health problems.
She spent over 200 days in the hospital and many days at home needing a lot of
care. I couldn't be two places at once. When I was at the hospital I felt
guilty for not being with the other five kids. When I was home with them I felt
guilty about not being at the hospital. Sometimes my kids had a less than
perfect mom. I wish Mothers Day would quit celebrating wonderful mothers and put
some focus on mothers who tried but couldn't do it all. I always attend
church but I am guilty of staying home some Mother's Days because I
couldn't bear hearing about perfect moms anymore. It's O.K. to not be
perfect, my kids turned out great in spite of having an imperfect mother.