Comments about ‘More women choosing to be stay-at-home moms, Pew study says’

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Published: Tuesday, April 8 2014 8:35 a.m. MDT

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Utah Teacher
Orem, UT

As a public school teacher I say THANK YOU to all of you dedicated Moms out there that take the time to raise your kids. It definitely shows in the classroom. The time you give your children in those first 5 years is worth more money than anybody could make in a year. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Kings Court
Alpine, UT

I agree with Utah Teacher.

teachermom6
Northern Utah, UT

As a full-time homemaker for 15 years and now a full time teacher, I have seen both ends of the spectrum. It is so hard being at home all of the time 24 hours a day 365 days a year. However, the benefits far outweigh the hardship. NO ONE will love your child and care for them as much as you do. Full-time moms are such a benefit to society.

Mike W
Syracuse, UT

One of the most encouraging stories I've seen in a long time - thanks to those who put aside material things to focus on their family - wish more would do this.

Bifftacular
Spanish Fork, Ut

I have a ton of respect for those parents who will willingly & often at great personal sacrifice, forgo some (or all) of the luxuries in life to raise their own children. I audited Utah daycares for 5 years and so I have personally witnessed the very best and the very worst professional child care centers & homes this State has to offer (and the difference is stark). With that said, the very very BEST daycare is NOTHING compared to the love & attention the child's own mother can provide. Why would anyone (who has a choice) take their most prized possession/relationship in the entire world and turn it over to virtually unknown, minimum wage day care workers who are doing it strictly for the paycheck and who's attention is distracted by many other children? I felt so much sorrow & sadness as I watched little children day after day, cry and cling to the daycare's window or fence as their parent's drove away - these parents mistakenly thinking that by both working, they were giving their children a better life. Parents, your children don't care about things, they care about being with you.

marxist
Salt Lake City, UT

Parenting requires a parent, male or female, to be at home while the kids are young

Nan BW
ELder, CO

I usually write from the perspective of a teacher or of a parent, but now that I am well past those endeavors, I am writing from the perspective of the child I once was (in the 50s and 60s). My mother taught school and I stayed with a doting older aunt, or a grandmother. I had wonderful care in those settings. However, I would have rather been home with my mom. Later Mom quit teaching and when I was in school, I virtually always went home and spent time with my parents. For five years I went to a school where sexual harassment, bullying, and lack of teacher supervision were routine. If I had been required to go to a daycare after school, I would have completely lost out on mental/emotional stability. How I made it through miserable days at school was knowing that I'd be going home to the wonderful ranch where we lived, where our animals were emotionally supportive, the setting was peaceful and my mother listened to all my school woes. If it had been in an era of homeschools, most likely that would have been an option. Home is the best place for children!

hermounts
Pleasanton, CA

It's great that the number is growing, but I wish we could all go back to calling them "homemakers"

Owl
Salt Lake City, UT

"Oh, your wife doesn't work. She's just a housewife?""
"Yes, she works many hours each day. She is a homemaker."

metisophia
Ogden, UT

Well, even though I work outside the home, I still am a homemaker. I would say the most important part of the title is the word choosing. We don't need another round of the mommy wars. Some women love to be home with their children, some need more space. Some dads make awesome stay at home parents. Some parents have no choice but to work. I would hope that society could respect choice a lot more.

My2Cents
Taylorsville, UT

Reading the endorsements of the many comments and the choice by mothers or fathers who choose to be at home their childrens is truly a happy day for hope we give our children of the future homeland security. Parents care more for their children than what governemnt wants to allow us to have and tries to discourage this bonding.

As single father raising 3 children and being ineligible and denied for any state or education assistance I turn down lots of overtime work and extra income so I could full fill my instinct to be there for my children as much as possible. They knew I am there encase they ever needed me. Children do notice these things and I remember them as a child with a stay at home mother. My children never seen the inside of a day care center after my divorce and I don't regret giving up thousands of dollars overtime and being impoverished so I could be there for them.

Home parenting is the only social media that a child needs. Children hooked on social media is a child who is suffering from loneliness and no parental affection.

thisiknow
Gilbert, AZ

Thank you for this positive story of a choice of many that is difficult. I only would add that a further minority is those of us who choose to be a homemaker, not only while our children are young, but as they continue through the tumultuous years of adolescence. I used to think that the most important time to be home with my children was before school-age. Now, I realize, having me choose to be a homemaker while my children are younger than 18-19 has been VITAL to the later years as well. I LOVE having the opportunity to enrich my children's lives and be here when the moments I never thought would come, inevitably do, at times least expected. I am here at vital crossroads for conversations, sharing and support and I don't believe I would have the same opportunities/experiences if I was not available as a homemaker to my teenage boys. I also have discovered the joy and example to my children of a marriage that is also enriched by having made this choice. We have had to sacrifice financial "wants" in order to accomplish this but the rewards I see are incalculable.

cjb
Bountiful, UT

If your situation allows it you are fortunate. I think of the song where a woman chooses a glamorous life of international travel, dating celebrities, living a really nice life style. She describes how she has been to many different places done many glamorous and exciting things but then says .. "But I've never been to me". Meaning she hasn't fulfilled her inner self".

Money is important, but fortunately the best things in life aren't the things that require a person to be rich to have them. Everyone can have a husband or wife. Everyone can have children. If we make it a priority everyone can spend time with their husband or wife and their kids.

Mormonmama0106
Phoenix, AZ

After many years of having to work, I am about to quit my job to be a full-time mother to my 1-year-old daughter. Due to poor past financial choices (i.e. a mountain of debt), my husband and I both had to work when my older children were little and I've always regretted it. Now that we have most of our debts paid off and are making wiser choices, we are finally able for me to be home again.

My mother stayed home until I was 12. She sent me to a babysitter for a year but I protested so much that she let me stay home alone after that. And that's when I started getting into all kinds of trouble. I tried my first cigarette in my own home, tried alcohol in my own home and had sex for the first time in my own home, all while my parents were at work. For these reasons, I agree with ThisIKnow: I will stay home until my kids are all grown if I can, whatever sacrifices it takes.

Working stay at home mom
Salt lake city, UT

I am lds, but I felt guided by the spirit to keep working after my children were born. It helped me overcome severe separation anxiety I had after my first child was born. Being a stay at home mom does not equate to a better mother. I am a social worker and I have seen many children neglected by stay at home parents. You must not leave your children unsupervised, if you are at home or not. My children have learned much from child care providers. They are independent, and confident. Research shows that women today spend more time with their children than women did forty years ago, yet the percentage of women who work is much higher. I work part time, I feel I spend more time with my children than most people who don't work at all. Stay at home moms do have cleaner houses and more home cooked meals. Working moms must work hard to find quality childcare. We need the voices of women in all parts of society. Don't let the desire to Bea mom keep from an education and career. 99% of women will work in their lives, get ready for that.

airnaut
Everett, 00

I think it's because "working" wages have declined due to the recession.

Why "work" for $10.00 and hour,
and end up paying $15 an hour for childcare?

This is about economics.

Crystal White
north salt lake, UT

It would be nice if we had the choice. Some of us have husbands that don't want take the responsibility to provide for the family--so who gets to do it?

Momof3RD2
Davis, UT

I am a working mother and I have been since my first child was born. I have worked part time and full time and on call, but ultimately, I am a better mother as a working mother. Every part of every day is spent doing what I feel is best for my children. I am parenting even when they are at daycare or school. I am raising my children no matter who else is involved. I have volunteered at the school, stayed up late working on science fair projects, organized and executed fundraisers, cheered for my children at performances and activities, as well as organized enriching opportunities outside of the school environment (like volunteer work and museums). Some working parents do not have either the opportunity or tenacity that I do, however, no one way of parenting is "best."
To Utah Teacher: my children are among the smartest in their classes and all of their teachers know that they have my support in teaching my kids. It is unfair to speculate on whether stay home mothers are more "dedicated" to their children just because they are home.
END THE MOMMY WARS!

jrgl
CEDAR CITY, UT

Much of the increase in stay at home mothers is due to the high cost of day care and wages that are stagnant.

UtahBlueDevil
Durham, NC

I really do wish one group would not judge other groups based solely on their own experience. My wife has worked on and off for years... as an educator. Currently she is teaching full time, and it is working out great. She isn't one interested in domestic engineering... its just not her thing. But she teaches at the same school our kids go to, they ride to school together, they eat lunch together, they join her in her room after school and do their home work together while she grades and prepares for the next day, and they ride home together.

Her example as a teacher have them loving and valuing school. I ask them if they like it that mom works at school with them.... and they always reply they love it.

So lets not cast the whole one sized life fits all. I think it is great that many choose to pursue fulfillment by managing the household. I fully support them. But I that doesn't fullfil my wife.... and I think she is going great. She surely isn't doing it because the money is life style changing.... she just loves hanging out with kids.

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