Comments about ‘Divorce rates are higher than you might think, new research finds’

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Published: Wednesday, March 26 2014 5:20 p.m. MDT

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MommabearGail
Canada, 00

I have seen firsthand how "shacking up" does nothing to encourage commitment. If they actually had a way to track common law relationships it would be obvious that these actually have a higher rate of break up. In my own extended family I have seen this time and time again. Serial monogamy I believe they call it these days. It is destructive, especially if there are children involved. My own grandson lamented only a few months ago that his mom has had "way too many boyfriends". And since she split with my son, she has been in 1 marriage (which ended in divorce after having 1 child) and 3 live in boyfriends which has produced yet another child. And this current relationship that produced child #3 is in serious trouble already. Sadly, this is the norm these days. And this has been in the past 7 years, so do the math. Tragic all around.

Hutterite
American Fork, UT

Shacking up is better than committing to a mistake.

Bob A. Bohey
Marlborough, MA

Of course, this article only speaks to so called "traditional" marriage. The bed rock of society that, with out it, humanity as we know it would come to an end. Hmmm, very interesting indeed.

Shane333
Cedar Hills, UT

Thank you, MommabearGail, for sharing your thoughts and family's experiences.

Aside from religious incentives or children, incentives for women and particularly for men to marry are rapidly declining. Sex outside of marriage is more socially acceptable than ever, as is cohabitation (or serial monogamy as MommabearGail describes it). Even when married, no fault divorce offers a ready ejection handle for the moment a married couple begins to struggle. We have a government that subsidizes single motherhood with a host of social welfare services...and any time you subsidize a behavior or situation, you'll encourage more of it.

I expect to continue to see marriage in decline...to the detriment of society.

Red
San Antonia, TX

When you serve yourself first then you get divorce, and lot's of it.

We have a "me" generation like never before.

Kalindra
Salt Lake City, Utah

'And, as Family Studies noted in its piece, “Divorce: It’s Way Bigger Than We Thought,” cohabiting isn’t helping union instability, as "cohabiting unions have always been less stable than marriages."'

Except this is not necessarily true.

Recent studies have shown that when you control for age, there is no difference between divorce rates for couples that cohabited before marriage and those who did not.

Marrying or cohabiting before age 23 is much more likely to lead to separation or divorce.

If the couple has different ideas about what moving in together means, or if they move in together or get married for financial reasons, or if the relationship decision is based on pregnancy or desire to have a child, the relationship is much more likely to experience trouble and end in a split or divorce.

If you are truly committed when you move in together, you are going to act like a married couple and view yourselves as married and this creates stability and leads to marriage with the same chance of the marriage being permanent as if you married to begin with.

This study is available from the Council on Contemporary Families.

MoJules
Florissant, MO

Years ago I had read that there is a higher divorce rate with those that live together before they marry. Young people think they need to try out the merchandise first before they marry, and that they will know things will work out. Hmmmm, how is that working for them?

slcdenizen
t-ville, UT

I see this issue as a symptom of the continuing breakdown of communities. People are feeling more and more isolated despite the influx of technologies that supposedly connect us. When support structures deteriorate, people will naturally seek better circumstances. Moreover, if children are reared in environments where they have contact with a variety of people, they receive a better understanding of adult behavior, contributing to their development. Plus, parents receive well-deserved breaks from parenting are able to focus on other areas of their lives leading to greater overall fulfillment. Trying to blame the divorce rate on cohabitation seems misguided if one is interested in fully analyzing the situation and not simply fitting facts to their pre-determined conclusion.

t702
Las Vegas, NV

@ Hutterite

"Shacking up is better than committing to a mistake." Better for who? If one is not committed why even try? Kids are often the victims in this type of experiment, how is this uncommitted relationship better for kids?

ZAM!
Omaha, NE

"And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold." ~Matthew 24:12

I think that sums up the whole topic very well. Is this not fulfillment of prophecy about these last days?

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