Comments about ‘Judge: Biological father will share custody with girl's 'psychological parents'’

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Published: Friday, March 7 2014 10:05 p.m. MST

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Clarissa
Layton, UT

If only this man had married the mother before getting her pregnant, none of this would have occurred. What a mess.

Due Process Man
Salt Lake, UT

Oh, Clarissa. If it were only that simple. Last time I checked, it not only takes two to conceive a child, but it take two in order to consent to a marriage. How do you know Rob did not want to marry the mother? What about those situations where the man is totally in love with the woman, and would marry her, but she is not interested, but wants to have sexual relations with him nonetheless--he may be more committed to the relationship than she is. And if she didn't want the child, why not just give his daughter to him? Oh yeah, it was because she wanted to give her daughter to her brother and sister-in-law to adopt, so she could see her daughter whenever she liked, but deprive Rob of that very same right. That is seriously messed up! The problem here is that it takes a case like this 6 years for this to work its way through the court systems of two states and it is not even over yet! Dear Judiciary: Fast track these cases!!! Justice delayed truly is justice denied.

Kalindra
Salt Lake City, Utah

@ Clarissa: If only the mother hadn't lied to the father none of this would have happened.

Xbalanque
DC, VA

"If you like it you then you should put a ring on it."

ignoranceisbliss
Salt Lake City, UT

If only she hasn't lied to and deceived the father and the adoptive parents, this never would have happened. Regardless of what either of the parents did or didn't do the adoption agency should be punished so as to discourage other agencies from committing fraud and condoning kidnapping.

Cleetorn
Fuaamotu, Tonga

If we are “putting the child first,” why is this even an issue? While it may be unfortunate that the so-called “biological father” has been cut out of the child’s life (except for what the courts have mandated), the child has grown for the first 6 years of her life knowing, loving and bonding to the adoptive family. Just because Mr. Manzanares has a blood relation to the child, that does NOT make him family.

This whole fiasco is NOT about putting the child first. It is about the selfish machinations of the biological father and his relatives demanding to tear the child away from the life she’s come to know and understand and force her to live another that she “is too young to understand.” She may not understand it but she will be confused by it. And this will not be traumatic? Guess again. (MORE) . . . .

Strider303
Salt Lake City, UT

This situation is a mess. If parenthood was the goal one would think some degree of commitment, yes marriage, would be in order. It appears that living together is what it is, consensual sex with no long term commitment. Why then the angst by the father over the mother giving up the child to caring, responsible adults? All he was in the relationship for was a good time.

I think the whole situation is tragic.

IMO he wants a human puppy. Someone to meet his ego needs.

Our legal system is laughable. If the mother decided to end the pregnancy via abortion, the father would have no rights in the matter. Why is it that the unmarried and thereby uncommitted, father all of a sudden has a boatload of rights for the baby?

Rights, rights, rights, and no responsibility. That seems to be the mantra of a spoiled and feckless generation.

Cleetorn
Fuaamotu, Tonga

The biological father was not willing to take responsibility in the first place for his sexual escapades nor was he later when both he and the mother learned of the consequences of their relationship. He only jumped in at the last minute when goaded on by his family members because THEY wanted the child but had no legal rights to her. Sometimes people have to learn to live with their decisions even if they are unwise. One cannot jump off a cliff and decide half way down they don’t really want to deal with the consequences after all.

If this really is about the child – and the biological father truly does love his biological daughter, he should let her go to grow in the stable family life she already knows and comprehends. By forcing the issue through the courts, the suing family has shown it has no regards for the daughter but only for themselves. And the child will pay with her mental stability for the rest of her life.

FYI
Taylorsville, UT

@ Clarissa
"If only this man had married the mother before getting her pregnant, none of this would have occurred. What a mess."

Or another way of looking at what you are saying: If only the mother would have married this man before she slept with him..."

I am pretty sure both of them were there.

Due Process Man
Salt Lake, UT

Cleetorn, get your facts straight. Rob filed for his paternity action WEEKS before his daughter was born. He didn't come forward at the last minute. He even paid financial support to the birth mother during the pregnancy. It is NOT just his family and only Rob that want his daughter. What is so wrong about extended family wanting the child too? What is so wrong with grandmothers, aunts, uncles, cousins wanting to be involved in a child's life? Isn't a child better off having more loving adults in his or her life, rather than fewer? The ONLY way the bio mom and adoptive parents were able to successfully obtain custody over this child was through FRAUD and DECEIT. They admitted as much in the Colorado custody proceeding. Are we now saying, steal a child, commit fraud to do it, and if you tie that child up in litigation long enough, you are able to keep the child you committed an illegal act to obtain in the first place? No way. And what message is this sending to adoption agencies, adoptive parents out there? Okay to do this? No way. It has to stop. Go Rob!

trekker
Salt Lake, UT

Maybe Utah should only do adoptions strictly for its own residents and refer out state people to their respective states. Also a legal document should be required from the biological fathers should be issued and signed relinquishing his rights before an adoption can be done, with an except in cases of rape that has been documented via police and medical professionals. It is sad if people would not have sex out of marriage most of these problems would never happen.

JSB
Sugar City, ID

@FYI

The biological parents both behaved irresponsibly; they should have gotten married before sexual intimacy. But, it is the mother that carried the child through the pregnancy and and gave birth to her. The mother's sacrifice and interests should outweigh the irresponsible behavior biological father unless he can show that the adopted parents are unsuitable. But it looks like selfishness will trump compassion and the person who will suffer the most will be the innocent little girl.

Lobotech
Grantsville, UT

I am appalled. People on here are attacking him. Is the father of the child perfect....not even close. But he is standing up for his responsibilities as a parent. In this day and age where many children have no clue who there father is, much less supported by them, and people want to attack him for doing the right thing. Of course the mother is a vestal virgin and the presence of all that is good in world, at least until this ogre of a male spoiled her virtue.

GZE
SALT LAKE CITY, UT

What is with all the "if only" moralizing? The child has been born and all your hand wringing is not going to change that. I admit to not following this case closely, but how is allowing this child to have more people in her life that love her a bad thing? It doesn't appear that he wants to take her away from her adoptive family; he wants to be part of her life. It's the same arrangement many children of divorce navigate.

And are you the same people who keep harping that it is always best for children to be with their "biological" parents?

CB
Salt Lake City, UT

Strider303 has it right. If the mother can abort the child without the permission of
the sperm donor, then why doesn't she have the right to chose adoptive parents?
Is this going to cause more women who find themselves in this condition just choose abortion to avoid the kind of mess these men create after the fact?
The child should be the most important person in this whole mess, or maybe Solomon had it right,
just divide the child in two and in this case you know who would be the first to stop that.

Nan BW
ELder, CO

Unless any of us have full information on this sad situation, we should not be making judgment calls. I agree with those who find that the six years of legal hassle make it far worse. I hope the adoptive parents and bio-dad can make it work to all be a part of the girl's life, without causing problems for her. At least he is willing to acknowledge that he isn't blaming the adoptive parents. Are they actually the girl's uncle and aunt, as one poster has stated?

Schnee
Salt Lake City, UT

I love how people who claim same-sex adoption harms children who should be with biological parents... are now arguing this kid is better off with adopted parents.

2rainlady
redmond, WA

I really am having a hard time with some of these comments. Last time I looked it took 2 to create a baby and it should have taken 2 to decide to terminate parental rights. While not married this father supported the mother and took steps after the birth to claim this child when the mother did not want to raise the child. I really do not understand why his daughter remained with her Aunt and Uncle for the six years it took to wind through the legal system. It seems to me that the rule of possession has trumped a fathers right to raise his own child. I would like to praise this young father for staying on task since pre birth to raise his child.

mizdeborahwolf
Lake Ann, MI

I am astounded by all the self-righteous moralizing in some of these comments. Are you really saying that in this country, a child does not have the right to be raised by his or her family if the parents weren't married when they had sex? And are you really saying that people who are married and wish to adopt are always morally superior to an unmarried parent? That is just ridiculous.

hooptax
Hooper, UT

The father is not to blame in this case. UT courts have trampled on the rights of fathers for decades. This decision should have been made within months of the baby being born, and not tens of thousands of dollars and six years later. I am sure this has put a terrible financial burden on the father. The courts need to protect the child’s right to have a relationship with the father.

As a father who divorce with a young child I can tell you that I spent thousands of dollars to maintain any relationship with my daughter. After my divorce my wife switched religions and baptized my daughter into the Catholic Church without my knowledge or consent, and the courts would do nothing. When my ex-wife decided to move out of state with my daughter, the judge told me "it's none of your business where your ex-wife lives, and if you want to have any visitation at all with your daughter, you will have to pay half of the travel costs for her to visit here 3 times per year". It is time that UT laws and UT courts give fair consideration to fathers.

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