"And when life does hit us, we decided, we’d better be standing.Because that’s right where God wants us."Amen
I appreciate the positive message of faith in this article. We live in a
difficult time and I appreciate others who are willing to share their faith in
Jesus Christ as they work through their own trials. Thank you!
Wow, faith is a beautiful gift for the hard times that come! Ashlee is an
amazing woman. Best wishes for all your endeavors!
"...Without the Lord, we'll break; but with Him, we'll break
through."Sometimes a turn of phrase is very clever, and we admire the
intellect of its author; other times a pearl such as this is born of the most
intimate and deepest suffering. We remember these not so much for their wit,
charm or eloquence, as for their truth; we sense the wisdom, having been spared
Betrayal is devastating. Forgiveness is tough. This is a remarkable story.
You never, ever know how many lives will be devastated by infidelity. How sad
that this man turned out to be very different than the man she thought she
married and had five kids with. My heart goes out to her and her children for
what they have been through.
WE have met the enemy and it is us. Churches are coming apart. The inviolability
of the family is no longer sacrosanct. Pornography appears to be a major tool
used by the forces of evil. Benedict the 16th has remarked on the danger of
"personal fulfillment". All that the new pope will say is "who am I
Apparently the husband had a beautiful wife and threw it all away. I thank God
for free agency but sometimes I wish he didn't let men have it as some
abuse it and make poor choices. Now a family is broken up. How tragic.
I saw this girl's blog referenced three times today in different places,
and now found this article. So impressed with her.With
what little I read before this article, didn't know she had found a
wonderful man.The pictures were great. Lovely that she
Thank You Ashlee for bearing your soul, and thanks Jason for further spreading
I know all papers put in "personal pieces" from time to time, but this
one is very poorly written. It's so laden with LDS jargon that it would be
difficult for anyone outside the faith to really relate to it, as opposed to
comparable pieces written in a more cosmopolitan paper than DN. Also, maybe
it's just me, but the part that stood out to me was her overly long
website/blog name, which looked like "The moments west and" to me.
The sentence for Robert Hall was far too harsh but he should have just divorced
and rebuilt his life.
This is a wonderfully inspiring story of a woman who has overcome much... and
will be an instrument for good for thousands of lives.
But I wonder about the lives of others. Perhaps some readers are acquainted with
the account of a pioneer man who, after learning his wife had been seduced in
Salt Lake County, hunted down the offender and shot him dead. After the
testimony of one of the Twelve Apostles at his trial, he was found not guilty
& that he'd acted within the rights of any man. Robert Hall's
sentence was overly harsh. Because he killed the father to 5 children? Still...
he TOO was betrayed by someone: an employer, a lawyer, he'd entrusted his
wife to daily.Most of all I ask myself of Kandi Hall. Hardly a
footnote in this story, what's become of her? If she has an ounce of
feeling left within her, she's living with a remorse, a regret, a constant
suffering for her mistake that is most difficult to overcome. Where's the
forgiveness for her? The release? the acceptance? the love? Not just from this
wonderfully inspiring Ashlee... I mean the forgiveness-gift she needs to give
Bad things happen to good people, it's what you do next that shows who you
Curiosity got the best of me and I watched the Dateline episode: Deadly Desire.
If this was an accurate account, then this young lady is far better off without
him. Again, my heart goes out to her and her children for what he put them
I did not mean to imply above that Ashlee had not forgiven Kandi Hall--of course
she has! Or she couldn't be living with such peace herself! I'm just saying that those that make the mistake are the harshest judges
of themselves, never forgiving self and letting go, feeling like dirt for the
rest of their lives... and often this is exacerbated by others who don't
also forgive, and overtly make efforts to accept and love the person who made a
terrible mistake. She probably needs some hugs too, maybe more than anyone.
(Next to Robert, who can also repent and be forgiven.)
"Mommy what happened to my real daddy?""He was shot by
the angry husband of the woman he was cheating on me with!""What does cheating mean mommy?"...
The article includes the quote "Without him we’ll break, but with him
we’ll break through."It is a beautifully written article
about a tremendous woman with incredible courage and inner strength. I wish,
however, that those who feel Christ is their only way to happiness wouldn't
use such statements to imply that those who do not so believe cannot be
successful in life.The comment "without him we'll
break" is not a fair statement to the vast majority of the world who do not
so believe but who are leading happy, successful lives and who also work
desperately hard to overcome adversity in their chosen way.
I personally have to come to the conclusion that, considering the current state
of affairs between men and women, women are better off and safer living single
lives than married ones.
I'm with albertinamel.The event is tragic on many levels, lives
changed in a moment to be sure. But the DesNews purports to be a newspaper,
which implies objectively providing information of events.I read the
story and concluded that it was too long, wandering and pandering to my emotions
to reasonably conclude it belonged in a newspaper. At least as news, as
written.Human interest, sure, but I should have known what I was
getting into when I saw multiple pages.If you want, attach the
lady's blog for those interested to read more. What really frosts my
cookies is the society of today seems obsessed with disclosure of personal
information ad nauseum for all the world to see, when in reality, not all of us
really want to know.I know from where I speak. I lost my spouse in
an accident, suddenly lives were changed. I learned that tragedies and major
events in my life are, in reality, anecdotes in other people's lives. It
is not that I don't care, it is just that I don't want to know the
details of other people's lives in so much depth.
@JBQ"All that the new pope will say is "who am I to
judge"."Way to take the pope's quote out of context.
The pope was speaking about gays in the Catholic church and welcoming all into
faith. Not about adultery or any thing else this article is about. I'm
pretty sure the pope would absolutety condemn adultery and murder.
This story is sad in many ways but it also shows how the Savior is the only one
capable of putting together the pieces of a broken heart. I know what betrayal
is and as Ashlee I've had to forgive and move on. Forgiveness is not an
easy process but it is possible when humbly we let the Atonement of Christ wash
and clean the wounds in our hearts.
Forgiveness for those who have hurt your or your family is hard. I admire people
who are willing and able to do so. I know it is something I am working on and I
hope to truly achieve it some day.
I don't believe pope francis has made a statement about this. Officially
adultery and murder are sins. Repentance and forgiveness are required, even from
the injured. The most important thing is people have what they need. One mans sin was adultery another murder. Are they really all that different?
Just different names of turning ones back on God. Difference consequences due to
the safety of the general public. I think the sentence was a bit harsh for a
crime of passion. Prison, sure, but the number of years I question. If he were alive she would have still needed to share with her children some
pretty ugly things in this world. This story is a clear example of the fact sin
isn't private. Her grief would have been different had he not been killed.
The other mans children have lost a wronged parent, though not as completely.
Because their mommy did something wrong. Then their daddy did something wrong,
wicked world we live in...
@FDRfan"The sentence for Robert Hall was far too harsh" ??????Seriously? 30 years is too harsh for murder? I do NOT
condone the adultery, and understand his anger, but to take this guys life was
not the answer!Wow. Just...wow.
King David, Uriah's wife. .... Paradise lost.The memorandum
came this last Priesthood Session of General Conference in the form of a
subtlenuance when President Monsen told of the Good Shepard...."describing a LOVE more BEAUTIFUL than lust"
I have read a lot of her blog, which she just began a couple of months ago
called The Moments We Stand.Was incredible what I have read so
far.If you are having a hard time in your life, reading it will show
you that you have much to be grateful about--and you will find ideas of how to
cope and hang on.
What a melting pot of emotions this story has evoked. Thank you to all that have
added your perspectives. As one who has experienced the betrayal of a spouse and
also subsequently divorce and death, the death of the spouse is a much easier
way to end things than living through the fall-out of a divorce for years to
come. Both are hard, but I'd chose the quick death of the cheating spouse
over the long-drawn-out agony of divorcing and then living with the continuing
meddling and antics an unfaithful spouse.
This article is both positive and uplifting -mostly for women. With
men its different in our culture. Men seem to be blamed first for the marriage
breakdown or for not being good priesthood leaders at home or for not giving
enough attention to his wife so 'she had to stray'. I've yet to see an article about a man recovering well from a wife's
infidelity because up to now it seems that the best reaction to it is to do what
Mr Hall did to avoid that 'looser' label. I hope deseret
news finds a good example soon of a man recovering from infidelity to balance
the score card.
@Strider303 & albertinamelPlease note that this was an article
by a columnist, not a Deseret News reporter. It is not "hard news' but
subjective commentary. If you don't want to read LDS jargon you should get
your news from the New York Times, which has its own jargon and slant. The
Deseret News is not trying to be all things to all people; but serving a niche
market. So don't fault them for not being what they don't want to be.
Jason Wright is an author and not a reporter. He writes stories and writes them
well. I found this story intriguing and enriching and a nice break from the
news of the day. This isn't the first Jason Wright story to appear in the
D-News so its style and content shouldn't be a big surprise to anyone. It
is because of his style and content that I read his columns.As for
Ms. Birk - a heroic story of overcoming adversity. Thank you for enduring and
sharing. It is an inspirational story and an affirmation of the infinite power
of the atonement.
Forgiveness is the Answer--If you go to Ashlee's blog,you can find a link
to the Dateline story. That tells more of Kandi's story. She ended up in
jail for embezzlement, leaving two teenage daughters on their own. From the Dateline story, I draw a parallel here to The Great Gatsby. A bunch
of irresponsible adults who make selfish decisions and don't think about
the negative impact they'll have on other people. The drugs, too, were a
factor in this story. I'm impressed by Ashlee's courage to
move forward, to acknowledge the pain and look for happiness. She's very
inspiring. It is fascinating to me, she seems to be mourning the loss of the
person he was earlier in their marriage, the "good guy." She's
awesome about helping her kids to love their dad and remember the good times
more than the betrayal.
I find it interesting that a couple of readers have stated that men should not
have agency and that it is better for a woman to remain single than to get
married to a man because men are the only ones who commit adultery. It does not
matter who seduced who, adultery requires two consenting adults. Otherwise that
adultery is called rape. I am by no means defending Mr. Corrigan, but rather
saying that what we have here is a stereotype saying that men are always at
fault for adultery and women have no role in it.Kudos to Ashlee for
her attitude in the face of this. Recovering from betrayal is difficult and she
apparently has done a great job by relying on the merits of our Savior's
atonement to get her through the anger, bitterness, hurt, and host of other
emotions that come along with something like this.
Sad story. It is a miracle that Ashlee has been able to go on with her life and
become such an inspiration to us all.For anyone interested in what
happened to Kandi Hall, I googled her name, and it looks like she has been
arrested for grand theft - stealing more than $32,000 from the law firm and
using it to "go to the mall, nail salons, and going out to eat."
Sentenced to 14 years in prison. What comes around goes around.