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Comments about ‘LDS woman finds half-sister through Ancestry.com after 60 years of separation’

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Published: Tuesday, Feb. 25 2014 6:00 a.m. MST

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timpClimber
Provo, UT

Our children are adopted and we have always offered them the help to search for their birth parents, which they have declined. We are so grateful to their birth mothers who gave us the greatest of blessings to make our family complete.

gotattitude
Rigby, ID

I too am a happy well adjusted adoptee (age 57). I would however, like to know how on earth she was able to find her birth records. Mine are "sealed", and try as I might, cannot find a way to open them through the California system. Any advice anybody?

?
SLC, UT

gotattitude: You could try finding a lawyer who handles such cases? Good luck.

E.Westfall
Lawrenceville, GA

I am a friend of Amy's and familiar with her extensive efforts gathering and sharing her family history and stories. I will always remember the excitement and wonder in her voice the evening she called to tell me she found her sister! I look forward to meeting Carol so I can tell her some stories about her little sister. :-)

YourGeneticGenealogist
San Diego , CA

@gotattitude - Do you know your birth name? If not, you need to have someone search the original CA birth index. Join one of the adoption search angel groups online and ask there. You may also want to use the DNAadoption methodology (www.dnaadoption.com). We are seeing lots of success stories. Good luck!

treeclimber
FRESNO, CA

I have access to CA birth index. "Adoption records in California are available to the adoptee who is age 21 or older… An adult adoptee, 21 or older, may obtain identifying information on their birth parents if the birth parents have provided written consent to have the information released. The birth parents may request identifying information on the adult adoptee, age 21 or older, if the adoptee has given written consent to have the information released. The original birth certificate is available only by order of the court.”
You should take a DNA test. I help maintain a surname DNA Project website. If you're a man a DNA test will match you with related men who have tested & match father's surname. A comprehensive test for men & women matches surnames & nationalities on both sides of your family. I have helped adoptees locate their birth family & have a grandparent who was adopted & have found info on his family.

caf
Bountiful, UT

Thank you to everyone who commented! Very helpful information!

jimhale
Eugene, OR

Open adoption is now the norm. Natural parents (and grandparents) now demand to know the identity of the adoptive parents - even to the point of approving them in advance.
This trend is an extension of the "me" attitudes of Boomer and later generations.
The adoption reported in this story did not take place in the current context. The adoptive parents and at least one birth parent entered into a contract to keep the record sealed.
"Natural" families now want to involve themselves in the adult lives of children they did not care to take the responsibility to raise.
It is kind of like wanting to NOT have your cake BUT eat it, too.

jimhale
Eugene, OR

For Ancestry to now profit from subverting adoption contracts legally entered into during the closed adoption era is a travesty.

jimhale
Eugene, OR

I have a problem with this kind of story - which can be seen regularly on TV and on-line or in newspapers.
My problem begins with the terminology being used.
The terms "birth mother", "birth father", or "birth parent" are themselves each a contradiction in terms.
A birth mother is really not a mother at all. A mother raises her child. The only mother in this story is somewhat dismissively called the "adoptive mother".
A birth father is not a father at all. A father takes responsibility for a child. Some would say a man who does not is merely a sperm-donor. But that term conveys the thought that supplying the sperm was intentionally done as a gift. Possible, but not common in an ordinary adoption.
If I found out in middle age (or early in life) that somewhere out there I had another set of "parents", I could never call them parents - and certainly not "mom" or "dad".
The subject of this story only had one mother - the one who raised her. In seeking to identify her birth mother, she has relegated her true mother to the status of having just been a permanent foster parent.

cbm
Salt Lake City, UT

JimHale, I am just now reading the comments on this article that was about me. I'm a little surprised at your last comments and consider them "your opinion". I don't think you fully understand the impact of being an adopted child. There has been plenty of love and parenting in my life that I always consider "my family". But I wish you'd read a little closer "the facts" and understand that this discovery has been a blessing and just a very nice happening for me and my siblings. When you think about it, the world is filled with one big family. It's just nice to have a few more members personally connected to me. And your "opinion" that I relegated my mother to "having just been a permanent foster parent" could not be farther from the "truth".
Today's world of opinion trumping facts doesn't work for me. Please consider reading the article again and seeing the very kind and human side of it. It's a wonderful human story. Life is full of little miracles that bring peace and understanding to us and this was one for me. Thank you.

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