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Comments about ‘Leno, others misunderstood BYU-Idaho anti-porn video, president says’

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Published: Friday, Feb. 7 2014 6:35 p.m. MST

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BYR
West Bountiful, UT

"But the Daily Beast, the Huffington Post and others picked up " That explains a lot of the confusion.

jeanie
orem, UT

Glenden -

"It's also an example of the gap between the cultural worldview of the Mormon faithful in the Intermountain West and much of the rest of America."

Mormons are not trying to be like the rest of America. We're not trying to speak the same language as the rest of America. We are trying to live our religion as we understand it, not as the rest of the world understands it. The video was made for members, not the whole world.

Was the intent of your comment to explain intolerant, condescending behavior on the part of Jay Leno and others - or to justify it?

GeoMan
SALEM, OR

cjb,
The distinction is very important, even for a secular humanist. In one case their is a mutual relationship between two adults. In the other case one person is objectifying another human being for completely selfish gratification.
Beyond that secular humanist issue is the fact that God has declared that sexual intimacy is sacred and is to be reserved for between an man and a woman inside the covenant of marriage. It is to build an eternal bond of love (not to be confused with lust) between the man and woman and, in most cases, also brings children into the world.
If one party in a marriage uses sexual intimacy for selfish, personal gratification, that too is a violation of God's Law of Chastity.
There is your answer. There are many conference talks, magazine articles, and sections of books available at the Church's website that elaborate on all this.

Ultramom
Spanish Fork, UT

The powerful inclination to reproduce sexually is deeply embedded in our DNA. We become immensely preoccupied with thoughts of sex because our perpetual existence is tied to it. We think about it so much we have immortalized it in our art, literature, and songs.

As a Mormon youth, I felt ashamed for having sexual thoughts, as the church drills into the youth that sexual urges are EVIL. I tortured myself with guilt. Looking back, I was a pretty awesome young woman. It bothers me that I felt such pressure from my church leaders to be "perfect" and "asexual."

I respect the morals and values which the church teaches, but it does a disservice to shame our youth, making them feel guilty for having sexual thoughts. IT'S NORMAL. Instead of beating them over the head why not say "Son, sounds like you're just like every other young man on the planet." Teach the youth that sexual urges are NORMAL and - for the love of Pete - stop making them feel like they are hellbound every time they have a sexual thought. This screws people up, setting the stage for sexual intimacy problems down the road because they associate SEX=BAD.

Alfred
Phoenix, AZ

@nellie83:
"To rationalize his addiction my ex would say pornography is natural, every man does it, and they are lying if they say they don't."

The fact is, males are endowed with way more sex drive than females). They have to be, in order to assure the perpetuation of their specie. So, when a man marries he anticipates almost non-stop sex. If that doesn't occur, for whatever reason, he is inclined to turn to... porn.

So, who's at fault here? Men... when they can't control their sexual desires and move to porn. And women... because they don't understand the unrelenting male sexual drives.

"He would say it's just a hobby, not an addiction."

Did you ever say something like... 'follow me to the boudoir and we'll have fun together.'

"Viewing pornography before you're married gives an unrealistic view of sex and during marriage threatens the institution of marriage."

You shoulda gone over this while dating to head off the situation.

"Your desires should be to your spouse, not to a fantasy person in the porn world."

The female has alot to do with where the male's desires are headed.

sg
newhall, CA

And the day will come when people will say evil is good and good is evil. Today we are witnessing the liberal media's attack on value by condemning and ridiculing Christian teachings. The Second Coming couldn't come soon enough. I'm all for it.

Neanderthal
Phoenix, AZ

@waikiki_dave:
"The Church believes the male sex drive should be totally for the purpose of creating children with a woman who can bare children."

Not necessarily so. The sex drive is to not only procreate, but to keep husband/wife together, hopefully for life.

"Example, a young heterosexual man that masturbates to pictures of scantily clad women in a Vogue magazine . . . in the eyes of the Church, the Vogue magazine would be a pornographic media for that person."

Are you saying fliers that come in the DNews showing females advertising bras and panties is pornography? Good heavens!

"The porn industry provides a service, that to some, in all its forms, is intrinsically evil."

There's nothing more beautiful than a well appointed nude female... and they know it.

@A Commentator:
"If I don't give into it, I'll lay in my bed shaking and sweating for hours, unable to sleep until I give in. If you don't think it is really an addiction, then you are lucky that you haven't gone through it."

If you're condition is what's considered signs of addition, I'd say about 99% of males are not addicted.

G L W8
SPRINGVILLE, UT

Can we use a little wisdom here? We did society in general and individuals specifically a disfavor when we brought sex out of the bedroom and sexual discussions out of the locker room into the open public. So now, we are faced with a constant barrage of topics like this--pro and con, healthy and unhealthy, ad infinitum. The only thing we can do as individuals is keep ourselves circumspect and chaste as we understand it, and try to concentrate on more meaningful aspects of life than sexual aberrations in any form. We used to regard sex as a sacred practice between a married man and woman.
Under the conditions that exist, we can support others (as LDS leaders & many other clergy do) who are trying to deal with the issues or show some tolerance to others who believe differently than we on "gay" and other sex-related issues--and try to avoid forcing our views on anyone in any offensive manner. Other than that, we need to avoid being judgmental, mocking, or worst of all--contributory to the problems.

jcobabe
Provo, UT

Why do some seem so anxious to defend pornography? What redeeming value does it represent? There must be some rational balance to be struck between freedom of expression and personal protection from harmful things. In spite of the derisive sarcasm, there are some who seem to appreciate the implications...

“I’ve met a lot of men who were motivated to commit violence just like me. And without exception, without question, every one of them was deeply involved in pornography.“ (Ted Bundy)

Not everyone who encounters pornography turns out to be a serial murderer or a sexual predator. But how many should it take to indicate what is at risk?

bigirish
OREM, UT

Agree with Orem Parent! We never watched Leno because of his leniency to the coarse and crude. Enjoyed his street interviews sometimes. I watched his last show, and enjoyed Billy Crystal's creativity. He should have had a talk show. Leno looked dazed. I didn't mind his interviews at times, but his monologues were always suspect. So people fawn over him and praise him and send him off with great acclaim. More idolatry and misplaced adoration - which we do too much with way too many "stars".

Mimifran
Gymea, NSW

Has anybody mentioned that no man is an island and that our behaviours actually do affect those around us? Yes, my ex was into porn, in fact his father introduced him and his siblings in their youth. Whilst his oldest brother served time as a serial rapist, he and his father took it further and were pedophiles. That affected me and my children, my ex, my in laws and their families, nieces, at least 64 women and their families, the church wards they attended and who knows how many who never came forward. Don't you dare tell me pornography doesn't affect other people! Don't you dare try and tell me it is a personal choice. Don't you dare say that it is not addictive. Three Temple marriages were destroyed. My daughters and nieces had to have years of counselling. Don't anybody dare say to me that porn is harmless. You have no idea. You really don't! Be careful how you run you mouth off over topics you only speculate on. You truly have no idea!

Schnee
Salt Lake City, UT

@Alfred
"So, when a man marries he anticipates almost non-stop sex"

That's a rather sexist generalization to make about men.

"And women... because they don't understand the unrelenting male sexual drives."

No, absolutely not. If a man or woman really cares about that so much then maybe there should be some communication going on before the marriage.

Bluto
Sandy, UT

Jay Leno has become consistently crass and raunchy.
He hasn't been funny for 15 years.
Just look at his so called friends bidding him farewell.
Kim Kardashian and Bill Maher?
Really?
Nuff said.
Good riddance Jay!

Tekakaromatagi
Dammam, Saudi Arabia

I saw a TED talk on this. Basically, men are programmed to like shapes, they like the image. It creates an dopamine high in the brain so someone who is enjoying pornography is enjoying it because of the brain chemistry, so it is a chemical addiction. So is gambling. It affects the brain chemistry.

A question to ask would be, if it wasn't for the brain chemistry, what is the point in looking at pornography and enjoying it? Where is the enjoyment? From the brain chemistry.

Men who view pornography are affected. It acts to reduce attention spans. But it also makes men view women as sex objects. A friend of mine subscribed to Penthouse and he recognized it was affecting how he viewed women so he cancelled the subscription. He thought it took him about nine months to clear it out of his brain and to get back to having attitudes of women that are more normal, i.e. less degrading.

Joemamma
W Jordan, UT

Alinsky rule #5
* RULE 5: “Ridicule is man’s most potent weapon.” There is no defense. It’s irrational. It’s infuriating. It also works as a key pressure point to force the enemy into concessions. (Pretty crude, rude and mean, huh? They want to create anger and fear.)

glendenbg
Salt Lake City, UT

@jeanie - "Was the intent of your comment to explain intolerant, condescending behavior on the part of Jay Leno and others - or to justify it?"

I watched Jay Leno's monologues online. When he talked about the BYU vidoe, he wasn't condescending or intolerant. He delivered a couple standard-fare Tonight Show one-liners and moved on.

Your response is a good example of the cultural divide I'm talking about. I've seen two types of comments online - most mock the over-the-top imagery of the video. Some commentary has criticized the video's apparent condemnation of masturbation, offering a contrasting view that masturbation is normal, natural and morally neutral. Neither approach is intolerant of Mormonism.

Consider your own comment in which you asked if people were threatened by the video's message. You seem to speaking from within Mormon culture without trying to understand why someone not within that culture would find the video funny. It's not about changing or questioning Mormon values. It's about understanding that we live in a pluralistic society in which no one is immune to or exempt from interacting with other people and value systems.

xert
Santa Monica, CA

Not meaning to offend anyone's beliefs, but to frame this as anything other than incredibly embarrassing is silly. I have good LDS friends with great senses of humor about these things and they were shaking their heads over this one. As a person who served in the armed forces, I was offended by the notion of a tattle tale being likened to a leader on the battlefield.

dmcvey
Los Angeles, CA

I think the fact that so many (if not most) viewers of this video are missing the point might mean that the point wasn't put across very well.

Coolio
SLC, UT

This is fair game for the media. No reason to try and make excuses for the video. There is certainly much humor to be derived from it when you look at it without your LDS eyes. No big deal. Move on. That's just being a part of a large planet that does not share your same beliefs and traditions.

Wacoan
Waco, TX

I hope that I add light rather than heat to the discussion. Many have noted that masturbation usually accompanies viewing pornography. I agree but not all masturbation occurs while viewing pornography. One is more intense and this is the reason for concern of Church leaders.
Spikey correctly notes that there is no definition of pornography. In economics, there is no agreed upon term for an economy dominated by market transactions, market system, capitalism, Smithian system, emergent order are all used. Despite the disagreement in terminology and salient characteristics, paraphrasing Justice Stewart, economists know it when the see it.
He also suggests that pornography use becomes a compulsion and not an addiction. Other than reading the book I will cite, I have no knowledge on addiction. Donald Hilton, MD (neurosurgeon) wrote, “He Restoreth My Soul”. The abstract reads,
“…Donald L Hilton Jr. MD explores the destructive power of pornography addiction… but with the scrutiny of modern science. Current research tells us that there is little difference in physical or chemical changes in the pleasure and control centers of the brain regardless of whether the addiction is "from a chemical or an experience," as stated in journal Science.

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