@Eternal Perspective"If trials are a natural consequence and
there is no God, even endure them in the first place? Wouldn't we just give
up, or abandon principle entirely and become hedonistic to place pleasure
seeking above everything?"No. There's a thing called
empathy. And another thing called survival instinct. Or just downright will to
live. It's not exclusive to people who believe in the man in the sky."If trials are random, why do so many people who experience them
testify abundantly later after the suffering has been lifted, they are now much
stronger, knowledgeable, etc. to create more meaning, gratitude, and humility in
life? Why wouldn't they just instead continue to suffer and harp upon all
that went wrong?"Again, because with or without a belief in god,
people are capable of thinking positively and learning from tribulation. Sounds like you should get out more. Atheists don't bite.
Nice article but I think the intent of "God won't give you anything you
can't handle" statement is that God will give you nothing that you and
He TOGETHER can not handle.Having said that, I 100% agree with you
that God indeed gives us ALL problems from time to time that we cannot handle
solely by ourselves. If we always could then we'd never see, or even have,
a reason to turn to God.I hope you get over your mourning soon.
Like you, I know you will see your father again.Hang in there!
@Itsme2"People of faith I know don't sink into despair and
try to figure out why they're being "punished""Well, since you can't possibly know all people of all faiths I have to
ask, "what's your point?""And atheists do not
corner the market on being strengthened.."I never claimed
otherwise so I have to ask, "what's your point?"
I totally agree with the author's premise and glad she turned to the
scriptures for verification of the philosophy. I think the actions of the human
race, individually and collectively, are prima facie evidence that we are given
more than we can handle because we all have fallen short-- not one of us has
risen above every moment, trial, or obstacle. Doesn't that make the point,
that this life is really more than we can handle, because we have never risen
above all of our "moments" in life. Only one has and He happens to be
the only one who can help us survive, not to mention rise above, perfectly if we
can, the crises, temptations, and trials of our lives.As an aside, I
think we do need to be careful about the sometimes tired phrases we circulate
and check them for doctrinal purity.
"God will give you more than you can handle"Based on the
number of suicides each year, I think that is a pretty safe assumption.
If god manages our lives, why do we show up?
To "TheScientist", who states emphatically and with what appears to be a
very anti-scientific certitude, "God does not give anyone anything. God does
not exist.", I'd love to see you prove that assertion. Especially,
given the handle you've chosen, scientifically.Assuming you do
in fact have some familiarity with science, I anticipate that you would respond
with something to the effect that, "Proving that something does NOT exist is
a logical and certainly scientific impossibility! That's not what science
is about." To which I would respond, "Exactly my point."Which would then beg the question, why in the world did you choose such a
I have never believed in that phrase. It's nice to hear, but it isn't
true. If it was, there were be no suicides. Simple as that. People do get
more than they can handle.
Stories that I heard and moved me that are fitting for both this article and
comments. A survivor of a Japanese-run internment camp said that upon
liberation some prisoners thanked God. While looking at the unburied dead, he
asked where was God when we needed him? A survivor of the Nazi holocaust upon
finding clothing belonging to family members who had just been gassed wondered
why God was on holiday as he looked up to the cold blue skies of Poland. A third story that I heard some years ago was of a man who while
fighting in Operation Iceberg, or the Battle of Okinawa became a confirmed
atheist. While Japanese motor fire walked up and down US lines killing men in
foxholes. That night as he listened to the screams of his dying friends and
comrades he lost all faith in God. Worse, there are those that
survived and suffer from "survivors guilt". Some trials seem very
great indeed, in this short life. These stories are extreme, but should I call
these victims weak or some other pejorative? Instead, I should weep when they
weep while blessing them for going through what I have not.
@Two cents:Nope, not true. People of faith I know don't sink
into despair and try to figure out why they're being "punished"
because they don't believe such things. And atheists do not corner the
market on being strengthened by working on their challenges. People of faith do
@Gail Fitches " Cancer is off the charts right, and there is cause and
effect, and no one is addressing the causes, because it harm the industries that
are poisoning us."We are pretty sure that environment figures in
1/2 of cancers, but - and this really gets me - Mormons are generally
anti-environmentalist and pro-corporation almost entirely. Conformity -
conformity - conformity until it kills us.
@Itsme2"IMHO, people who put their faith in science alone are
suffering PERIOD."Nope, not true. I'm not suffering at all.
My life has it's ups and downs just like everyone else and just like
everyone else working through those challenges is both satisfying and strength
building. We get those challenges not because some omnipotent deity has placed a
burden but because that's just the way life is sometimes. I've watched
too many people I love sink in to despair over the hard knocks life sometimes
hand them. Not because it makes things tough, but because they believe the
burden they are experiencing is a result of failing their god and rather than
work through the tough times, looking for a solution, they waste time to figure
out why they are being punished.
RE: The Scientist, "IMHO, People who 'put their faith in' a god
who tortures them with pain and suffering ("trials"), and who then
profess love and devotion to that being, are suffering a sort of Stockholm
syndrome."IMHO, people who put their faith in science alone are
suffering PERIOD. I hope you can find faith and stop suffering.
"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Phil 4:13.
I KNOW God will give us more than we can handle. However, it is with Him that we
can overcome trials. That does not mean trials are always taken away, but the
burdens associated with them (misery, depression, sadness, pain, etc.) can be
made light. The loss of my Dad and four babies in the last two years tells me
Sadly, this article is a direct contradiction of the Lord's word to us in
the scriptures. No matter how you try to talk your way around it, The word of
the Lord is set and those verses do not have any "except for"
explanations. It bothers me when people try to twist the word of the Lord to
suit their views. Just because you don't think you can handle it the way
He wants you to doesn't mean you can't. Any other thought process is
dangerous and undermines the sacred gift that agency is to us.
Having gone through some perilous trials in my life, I do know that we DO NOT go
through them alone ever. People are placed in our lives, family and friends are
strengthened to help. There are some that wallow in self pity and shut everyone
out. Like an injured animal licking it's wound. Trials come and go because
that is how we are refined. They do make us stronger, spiritually and physically
if we choose. Or they can cripple you. Even if you are not a Christian the Lord
is there for you. I love the footprints poem, it got me through several
devastating times in my life. I appreciate the hard times, they have taught me
to slow down and walk a mile in someone else's shoes, to be kinder and have
more compassion toward others. They have given me knowledge that I have been
able to pass on to others who have suffered the same. We are given agency and
how we choose to use it will see us through the trials. Faith without works is
dead. Faith is what you need to have.
D&C 64:20---And again I say unto you,that my servant Isaac Morley may not be
tempted above that which he is able to bear.-----------D&C 82:5---Therefore
what I say unto one I say unto all. We will not be tempted above that which we
are able to bear. from my own experience i can testify to that.
@ Ronnie W."Say he would "give us more than we can handle"
implies either A)he doesn't know what he's doing or B)he simply
doesn't care. Would you "give" your child more than they can
handle?"I am just confused now as to where you stand now since
your original post mentioned consideration of suicide as one example of it being
a worse case than this author describes. As for "Would you "give"
your child more than they can handle?" perhaps it could include a
child's value of the parent as well?
LittleDrummerMan wrote:"So glad to know that there's a
higher Being than myself that knows MUCH more than I do."There
are millions upon millions of human Beings who fall into the same category.
So glad to know that there's a higher Being than myself that knows MUCH
more than I do.
Brahmabull: I agree to a point that many of our trials and tribulations are of
our own doing. Some, however, I believe we are given by the Lord to test us as
to whether we will or will not obey his commandments.For instance on
this I bring about Job who was a very obedient servant. Satan basically said
take away all of his blessings and he will forget the Lord. So a deal was made
and Satan basically turned Job's world upside down. Yet, through it all he
never, ever forgot to show gratitude of his blessings. In the end he received 7
times what he had before the trials were given to him.Joseph Smith
also suffered many trials and tribulations brought on by men themselves. As you
read D&C 121 thru 123 you find out the council from the Lord. We all have
the same thing here.Some of our trials are the result of sin,
getting to prideful and the such. Again in the Book of Mormon we are told that
God gives weaknesses to man so that he will humble himself before him. This is
all part of the Plan of Salvation.
Trials are a part of life.Life gives us trials.God gives us life.In that sense, God gives us trials.
IMHO, People who "put their faith in" a god who tortures them with pain
and suffering ("trials"), and who then profess love and devotion to that
being, are suffering a sort of Stockholm syndrome.
@LongLostAmerica"The funny thing is, you probably don't
even realize it."I am fully aware of what my thinking does.
Your post is a bit condescending, not stating your opinion as an opinion, but
stating it as fact. Anyway, assuming you are LDS, if you believe
David B. Haight was an apostle when he said "[God] will not ask more than
you can do, but may ask right up to your limits so you can prove
yourselves", that should solve the issue for you. My belief is
the author stated it that way somewhat controversially, to get more reads.
Saying the same thing over and over again doesn't get clicks. Of course God
wants your to turn to him in times of need. But it doesn't have to be more
than we can handle. Say he would "give us more than we can handle"
implies either A)he doesn't know what he's doing or B)he simply
doesn't care. Would you "give" your child more than they can
RE: Cats, Our Father in Heaven will allow us to go through trials, but he will
never leave us alone. It is up to us to let him in.“we know
that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been
Called according to His Purpose”.( Romans 8:28)RE:
EternalPerspective, A being *omnipresent and omnipotent to create worlds must
fully comprehend as the author of trials. True,The "Three
'O's begins with:God is *Omnipresent,
“everywhere”. Where can I go from your Spirit? (Psalm 139:7), (John
4:24).God [is] Spirit.God is Omnipotent, His authority and ruler
ship over all creation. God is Omniscient, having complete or
unlimited knowledge, awareness, or understanding; perceiving all things.”
I've often stated that if I'd had any idea life was going to be this
hard, I wouldn't have come. The ONLY way to get through the
trials of life is through faith. The ONLY way to find happiness us through a
relationship with God.Our Father in Heaven will allow us to go
through trials, but he will never leave us alone. It is up to us to let him in.
I'm glad to finally hear someone say this. Thank you.
The phrase is not untrue.God may surely press our limits, as the
author suggests. But that doesn't change the fact, the doctrinal truth,
that God does not give us anything we cannot overcome. The atonement has no
limits. Man does. The author essentially makes the same point, so I'm not
saying she's wrong. I just don't love when someone says "this
isn't true" because it may lead people to the wrong conclusions. The
phrase once helped me, so I wouldn't want to see someone doubt it. It can
promote hope in God's ability and willingness to help us. That's a
good thing.Again, good article... I just prefer presenting it in a
way that doesn't seem to tell other people "nope, it isn't
Every complaint is valid if that is one what is feeling. No one can measure or
judge the depth of Kayla's feelings. Bless her heart for her faith.
The problem with some of the above comments -- as to whether God would or would
not permit things if just, etc. -- is that those comments only focus on the
perceptions of THIS LIFE. They do not anticipate what we agreed to with (more)
open eyes in the previous life; nor do they consider the outcomes and
consequences that follow this life. Even where a life lived seems overwhelmed
with trials, and ends with pain and suffering, it is what is learned for
Eternity and associated outcomes that matter more. Eternity is a long time. We
have all always existed, and always will exist; and we've always had
consciousness of self, as we always will. This life is just a blip in Eternity
-- an important blip, to be sure, but just a blip.
@ Ronnie W.Your post imposes a very 21st Century way of thinking and
parameters as limitiations. The funny thing is, you probably don't even
realize it. This mindset reduces to a lower spiritual level than what the author
is trying to communicate. It is one thing to collapse into a debilitated state
from having used up every reserve of energy or not being able to cope with your
your serious and incapacitating health problems (and/or other problems), and in
such a moment, where the battles of this life and the body seem expended, to
call out to the Lord to come deliver you from your present incapacitated state
and yearn for a passing away from this life. Your mental state of mind might
even hasten such an event. But to question motives with words such as the
contemplation of "suicide" truly does belittle and demean the message
and intent of this author and anyone who has been raised to abhor the thought of
losing your faith to the point where you consider injuring yourself and your own
soul in this manner. When your loss has such a spiritual connection,
blogging is both appropriate and logical.
Well said, I also have pondered on the scripture which says we are not tempted
above which we are able.I've found that I have been tempted above which I
am able if I don't use the tools around me, including God, friends,
scriptures, and many other things, I don't have (and I don't think
anyone) has strong enough free will. So, it is a measure of strength to rely on
God, not weakness.
Oh Kayla. Thanks for sharing. I have really learned from you. I think I will
always remember your words. I hope you find peace.
skeptic, If it was easy, everyone would do it, and no one would
suffer for a day beyond what is necessary, right?!?!It sounds like you
don't believe in God. I do. Big time. So, my help would be biased. I
would refer you to the Buddhist teachings of Allowance and Acceptance. Tara
Brach is a PhD and Buddhist teacher and you can find her free podcasts
USAloner, excellent advice; but it is easier said than done. It is a bit like
saying: to solve your problem just don't be yourself. However, if you have
a doe able way to implement it, Ihope you will share it. thx.
“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a
lot, you will have a lot of peace.” ~Ajahn ChahIt's
probably just a coincidence, or NOT, that the Bible has 365 references to
letting go of Fear. One for each day of the year...For those of you
who don't have God in your life listen to Tolle. Eckhart Tolle believes we
create and maintain problems because they give us a sense of identity. Perhaps
this explains why we often hold onto our pain far beyond its ability to serve
us.We replay past mistakes (trials, traumas etc) over and over again
in our head, allowing feelings of shame, fear and regret to shape our actions in
the present. We cling to frustration and worry about the future, as if the act
of fixation somehow gives us power. We hold stress in our minds and bodies,
potentially creating serious health issues, and accept that state of tension as
the norm.Let go...and let God. This literally probably saved my
Does god pick the winners and losers at the Las Vegas roulette tables, not
likely. So why blame him for mans suffering or fortune. Look to nature, chance
and mans imperfections and sublimity for answers.
Life without trials will be boring and worthless. Trials are part of gods plan
for happiness. How can there be happiness if there are no sadness?
I can sure relate to the author of this story, and there is a lot she has left
out. I know because I have felt the same way, and have gone through a simuliar
situation. I am almost becoming numb to deal with all of the deaths of those I
love and care about the past 10 years. I begged God for a miracle for my Mother
and Boyfriend, but what they were given as medications is what killed them.
Cancer is off the charts right, and there is cause and effect, and no one is
addressing the causes, because it harm the industries that are poisoning us.
God gives me the strength to continue, but I am also angry and bitter of what is
allowed in our food, water, medications, vaccinations, and the air we breathe
that are causing so many people to die before their time. The last 10 years
have been so hard, and I know they are going to worse, because nothing is being
addressed to stop the causes. Anyway, outstanding article. It brought tears to
my eyes reading it.
BrahmabullGood differentation. If God created every
living organism and element on the planet, surely He understands perfectly the
trials in our physical DNA, life experiences and choices having consequence of
momentary or future perils, and the events we cannot forsee. A being
omnipresent and omnipotent to create worlds must fully comprehend as the author
of trials.Like you said, that doesn't necessarily mean God
reaches down in a moment and torments someone with an awful affliction (not that
this doesn't occur as the scriptures testify). Rather, there is a natural
order for all of us. We can alter destiny in life by our personal choices, but
some events we must experience are independent of free will.In other
words, if God did not provide the opposition required for us to learn by way of
trials and suffering, how could we progress, let alone grow to be stronger and
appreciate the things in life we might otherwise take for granted?To
understand why bad things happen to people is to recognize they occur for
reasons way beyond our mortal understanding. God sees and acts with an eternal
perspective. Bad things here could very easily be eternal blessings.
I appreciate the sentiment of the author that by God giving us more than we can
handle, we turn to God and become more humble and learn to know him better than
we would without those trials, but, in addition, to 1 Corinthians 10:13, which
the author quotes, we also have 1 Nephi 3:7: I know that the Lord giveth no
commandments to the children of men save he shall prepare a way for them that
they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." The key is in
whether we turn to God for help in times of trouble--if we do, we will be able
to bear it; if we don't we will be broken by it.
God does not give anyone anything. God does not exist.
EternalPerspectiveI never said there was no god. I am confident that
there is. I just said I don't think he interferes in our lives, and I sure
don't think that he is the one giving us trials. I don't think he
gives people cancer, causes people to be handicapped, or deaf, or blind for
their own benefit. You are right - when people go through hardships in life (and
everybody does) they come through them stronger, more humble, resilient, and
much more. People react differently to trials. I will say that those who believe
that god gives them trials may have that extra motivation to get through them.
That in no way means god created the trial or that he helped them through it.
Humans are strong, we bounce back - with or without the belief that god is
I have what admittedly may be a semantic argument. But it seems to me that if we
endure a trial beyond our ability to do so, to the point that we put our
ultimate trust in God to carry us through--yes, we have handled the trial in the
most real of senses. But as the article points out, we must come to that point
where we rely on Him to do what we cannot do for ourselves. That has been our
own family's experience in some very real trials. These trials are not
random nor chance-driven, but are central to the very purpose of life--to give
us the experiences that will prepare us for life in the hereafter.
I tend to agree with the author. I think we hear the phrase "god will not
give you more than you can handle" and hear the word "alone" at the
end. Then we wonder why we are so beaten about at times in this life. I think no
one gets out if this life without traveling through their own dark personal
"pit of dispair". However, I think we are given what we can
handle - with the help of God and others. When we fall apart there are people
around to help hold us up even if, in our darkness, we cannot see that for a
while. This has been my experience anyway. As to the idea of God
giving us trials - I believe God has put us on this earth with its
fantastic, breathtaking beauty and blessings and with its wrenching realities.
Whatever we experience is a result of being placed on this earth. I do not
believe God makesus sick, or directs cars to crash. Rather these things
happen as a result of life and he is ready and willing to carry the burdens with
us, guide us to peace and make us better than we were.
As this article rightly points out, we need God to helps us through our
troubles; we can't do it completely on our own. "... whosoever shall
put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles,
and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day" (Alma 36:3).
BrahmabullIf trials are a natural consequence and there is no God,
even endure them in the first place? Wouldn't we just give up, or abandon
principle entirely and become hedonistic to place pleasure seeking above
everything?If trials are random, why do so many people who
experience them testify abundantly later after the suffering has been lifted,
they are now much stronger, knowledgeable, etc. to create more meaning,
gratitude, and humility in life? Why wouldn't they just instead continue
to suffer and harp upon all that went wrong? Is this merely explainable by the
differentiation of physical DNA?If God is real and we know trials
are inevitable in life, wouldn't there instead be purpose to these things
for us to learn what we cannot understand vicariously? For if we die and are no
more, why do so many people suffer, while others seem to coast? There would be
no purpose in living at all, except for pleasure.I submit to you
there are things more sure than sight and the physical world. There is a God
and you can know Him when you decide to seek beyond what the world has told you.
Ronnie W.I appreciate the truths in your response, while also
respecting the author. The concept of "handling" trials in life is a
subjective proposition.On one hand, when hard trials occur in a
moment, anyone can feel initially hopeless and helpless with not
"handling" but instead becoming overwhelmed. It is only when we submit
our will to God fully and decide to accept whatever He gives a as response, can
we be granted strength beyond ourselves to endure that time.On the
other hand, if the patterns of our lives have allowed the Atonement of Jesus
Christ to transform and sanctify us through the strengthening of testimony and
conversion, then we can become able to bear the hardest burdens near the moment
they occur, if we give these burdens unto the Savior immediately. This is not
to say we won't suffer. Rather, we can find the joy of trials more quickly
than suffering breaks us down into misery.I can imagine trials not
unlike Job experienced that could be a breaking point for anyone, regardless of
spiritual progression in this life. I find it is best not to compare, but
extend compassion to everyone.
I don't think god gives us the trials, they are a natural and random
consequence of life. How could god give a person a terminal illness. How could
he cause a child to die? No, he isn't the one doing those things.
I agree with the idea that God will give you more than you can handle. Six
years of torture has convinced me of this. I suppose we learn more from being
squashed than we do from any other circumstances. Like being in an olive press.
I read this blog post a few days ago and I was so beyond inspired! Wow, talk
about trials but the author seems pretty amazing and strong. I very enjoyed
reading about her and felt incredibly humbled.